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The Mask

Carmenica Diaz

2004 Carmenica Diaz

Part 8 Decisions

Scott did call, and he asked if I’d like to go for a drive in the country on Saturday.

‘I’d love to, I’ll make a picnic.’

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Lou and I swim in a fresh stream we know, so bring your swimsuit.’

The only swimsuit I had was a dark blue one-piece I had used to swim laps in the complex pool. I was self conscious in it then, and I wondered how I would get the nerve to wear it in front of Scott.

I borrowed a cane picnic basket from Eleanor and worked Friday night to make a picnic of cold chicken, salads, breads and fruit. I even baked a pie. Eleanor supplied a few bottles of her homemade lemonade and I put them into the refrigerator until Saturday morning.

After trying on several different outfits, I decided on a white cotton sleeveless shirt and a denim skirt over my swimsuit with comfortable sandals. I tossed a straw hat in the car and loaded the basket. My calls were redirected to the county hospital, so I was free for the day.

As I drove out to Scott’s house, I tried to reconcile the feelings I had with my life and what I had thought was my goal. It was unspoken, even to myself, but I didn’t want to leave Indian Mask and I certainly did not wish to be a man again. Again! That word reverberated within me, as I had extreme difficulty remembering what it was like to be a man.

‘Hi, Jacquie,’ Ben said as he walked over to my car.

‘How are you, Ben?’

‘Fit and dangerous,’ he winked and I laughed. ‘I’m heading off to talk to some potential customers, try to sell some boats, enjoy the day.’

‘You’re not coming with us?’

He stopped, smiled slowly, and I saw where Scott’s smile came from. ‘No, but thanks for asking, Jacquie.’ He winked. ‘If I’m not there, Scott might just have to talk, hey?’

I grinned. ‘You think?’

‘I hope so,’ he said seriously and I watched him drive away, wondering, until Lou ran out.

‘Hi, Jacquie, Dad’s coming.’

‘Good,’ I smiled. Scott walked out, that slow sensual walk that I found fascinating and of which, I knew, he had no idea of the impact. Dressed in an open necked shirt, tight faded jeans and sneakers, he looked so rugged I wanted to squeeze him tight, just feel him.

‘Hi,’ I said and he stopped, his eyes traveling up and down me and I felt good, smiled a little more and moved a little bit.

‘Hi there,’ he murmured, eyes roaming over me still, taking me in.

‘Lou,’ I said brightly, ‘help me with the picnic.’

We brought the picnic basket over to Scott’s pick-up. ‘How much food is in that?’

‘You’ll have to wait,’ I said with a wink and we clambered into the pick-up, Lou between us as we drove.

Lou put the radio on and soon Lou and I were singing along with an old Dolly Parton song, Scott watching us with a half-smile.

‘What?’ I said to him when the song ended.

He smiled and shook his head, one arm resting on the doorframe. ‘Nothing. I guess I’m just enjoying it, that’s all.’

The stream was high up and ice cold but crystal clear, river rocks piled high and lazy birds circling high above us.

‘I’m going in,’ shouted Lou, tearing her shorts and tee shirt off, running into the clear water in her swimsuit. ‘Come on, Jacquie!’

I glanced at Scott and shrugged, pulling my top off and stepping out of my skirt. I waved at Lou, splashing in the water but I could feel his eyes on me. God help me, I posed a little while I pretended to watch Lou, let him look a little, and then smiled shyly at him before running into the stream.

Scott was pulling his clothes off in a hurry as Lou and I splashed each other, giggling like mad, and he arrived panting and smiling in swim shorts. I looked him up and down, smiling, and he smiled back.

Lou and I dived in, the water cold and sharp and I came up shaking my hair as Scott’s arms encircled me. His skin was so hot against mine and I moved against him. Suddenly, I felt his hardness and instead of being appalled, I smiled, pleased with myself.

We swam and played games for an hour or so and then walked out of the water. I held Lou’s hand in one hand and Scott’s in the other.

‘Let’s eat,’ I announced and Lou clapped her hands. Soon we had the blanket spread, the plates and the food arranged, and were settled back comfortably.

‘This is great,’ Scott murmured, chewing on a chicken leg, and I smiled.

‘Apple pie?’ I asked Lou and she nodded, eyes wide.

Later, we were leaning back, comfortable and full, and a little tired. Maybe relaxed was a better description. Lou had finally given up swimming and was lying on the blanket, her head in my lap and her feet across her father’s legs.

I didn’t know it was possible to experience happiness like this.

‘Is she asleep?’ Scott asked softly and I looked down, my fingers in Lou’s hair.

‘I think so.’

‘She just wears herself out.’

‘All that energy has to go sooner or later. She’s a great kid, Scott, but I guess you know that.’

‘She likes you a lot.’ I opened my mouth but he surprised me and kept talking. ‘I like you a lot,’ he said simply and he took my hand, just swallowed mine in his big fist and squeezed gently.

‘That’s good,’ I murmured, falling into those blue eyes, ‘because I like you.’ He leaned over and kissed me, and it was just like the kiss goodnight, it sent shivers of hot vibrations through me. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. Life couldn’t be better than this.

The three months were almost up and I wondered what I was going to do. I hadn’t spoken to Ron and I had no idea if the council had found another doctor or not. Did I want to leave, I asked myself, did I want to go work at a hospital? I no longer was interested in the research; I had lost all interest in becoming male. In fact, the idea of being male was now incredibly alien to me.

I found Ron in the diner drinking coffee with Sheriff Hopkins and sat down at their table. They both greeted me and I cut straight to the chase. ‘Have you found a doctor, Ron?’

He glanced at John and suddenly seemed nervous. ‘We’ve been looking, Jacquie, honestly.’

‘We have,’ John chimed in. ‘We even interviewed a guy last month but he didn’t measure up.’

‘Measure up to what?’ I asked, puzzled.

‘To you,’ John said sheepishly. ‘We’ve been comparing them to you.’

‘Oh,’ I said, blushing. ‘I see.’

‘Could you see your way clear to stay another month?’ Ron asked anxiously and I shook my head.

‘No,’ I said slowly, ‘I don’t think a month’s possible.’

‘Oh,’ John said regretfully, ‘we understand. It’s been great having you here and we’re going to miss you…’

‘More like twelve months,’ I said and they gaped at me in surprise and I laughed. ‘You win, Ron, you got me to love this town.’

‘Just the town?’ John shrewdly asked but I ignored him.

‘Let’s make a proper contract if you’ll have me.’

‘Have you?’ Ron said grinning widely, ‘you’re kidding, right?’

I told Eleanor and she danced me around the reception area, hugging and kissing me. ‘Ron wants to keep it a secret until the council approves it,’ I warned.

‘A secret,’ she said scornfully, ‘in this town?’

The next evening I was finishing up when I heard the telephone ring. Eleanor came in. ‘Get your bag, there’s a problem at the school gymnasium.’

I hurried out to the car and was surprised to see Eleanor right behind me. ‘You might need help,’ she said defensively and I shrugged. I should have suspected something right there and then but I was too focused on getting to the gym, wondering how many were hurt, and if Lou one of them?

I pulled up, flung open the car door and ran up the steps to the big double doors of the gymnasium, Eleanor panting behind me.

Pushing the doors open, the gym exploded into light and I saw it was filled with grinning people who chanted ‘Surprise! Surprise!’

I looked around and saw the big banner, draped over the stage. ‘Welcome, Doctor Jacquie’. Ron stepped forward, smiling. ‘Sorry to fool you, Jacquie,’ he said as everyone grew quiet, ‘but we wanted to celebrate your decision to stay with us, and to officially welcome you.’

‘Oh,’ I said, looking around and recognizing mostly everyone. Even the children were there, hanging from the seats at the far end of the gym. ‘I don’t know what to say,’ I murmured just as I saw Scott and Lou standing by one of the side doors.

I knew tears were trickling down my face, and Eleanor smiled and hugged me, followed by Rhoda,
Alice and a host of others.

A cake was cut, drinks passed around and Ron ceremoniously presented me with the contract.

Scott and Lou came up to me. ‘Congratulations,’ he said with his slow smile.

‘I’m afraid you have to put up with me for another year,’ I said brightly, wiping my eyes with a tissue.

‘I’m glad,’ Lou said happily.

‘So am I,’ Scott said and I looked up at him and smiled. Then, in front of everyone, he put his arms around me and kissed me.

There were murmurs in the crowd and I heard Lou say delightedly, ‘Yahoo!’

But I didn’t care. I was too busy kissing him back.