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The Mask

Carmenica Diaz

2004ãCarmenica Diaz

Part 2 Recovery and the Plan to Act

I was in an unreal world, floating in someone else’s dreams, swimming to the surface through an inky blackness, swimming to the light.

The light seared my eyes when I opened them, so I quickly shut them again. A man’s voice spoke softly and confidently close to my ear. ‘Relax Jack; please don’t attempt to talk or to move. You are in a hospital and you’re completely safe.’

A glass straw was gently pushed through my lips and I felt a liquid dribble into my mouth. ‘Try to swallow,’ the voice said and I did. ‘We’ve dimmed the lights, so you may try to open your eyes again if you wish.’

Slowly, I opened my eyes but everything was blurred, a row of indistinct shapes in white and a long room. After shutting and opening my eyes a few times, the room began to swim into focus. The indistinct shapes were, I saw, a row of people in white lab coats, all smiling at me with excited looks on their faces. To my right, I saw military personnel, mostly top brass. Some had their arms folded but all were watching me intently. To the left was a television camera and I realised I was being filmed.

The man’s voice spoke again. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, you can see the patient is awake.’ Applause rippled around the room, but he snapped, ‘We haven’t got time for that.’

‘It’s a breakthrough, Professor,’ and, for a moment I thought the voice from the group of watchers was talking to me, but the first voice answered.

‘Yes, it is, but the patient comes before congratulations. Please leave, and only the psychologists and psychiatrists remain.’

I watched them file from the room. They stared at me as they left and one of the men waved. I realized it was Bob Jones, a colleague who had worked with me on many projects.

A woman in a white coat appeared at the end of the bed, and a man in a suit and a Van Dyke beard moved slightly to the left while a third man in a white coat and a shaven head stood between them. It was he who spoke in that soft, confident voice.

‘Professor Rhodes, I’m Professor Henry Kruger. Welcome back. On my left is Doctor Brenda Peters and on my left Doctor William Murphy. I’m sure you have many questions and all of them will be answered soon. What I suggest is that I give you a few basic facts. Please nod if you understand.’

I nodded and opened my mouth to speak but Professor Kruger quickly put his hand up. ‘Please don’t attempt to speak yet, Jack.’ There was something about his tone that made me close my mouth and I waited.

‘I have read your notes many times and I must compliment you, Jack, on your outstanding work. Let me explain what has occurred. You injected yourself with what is now known as the Rhodes Virus, or the Mask, and it worked completely as you predicted but the results were, shall we say, unusual.’ I opened my mouth again but he raised his hand to stop me.

‘The virus masked the cancerous cells as you predicted and then sought to find within your body the healthiest genetic code. It then grew cells based on that code and then altered existing cells to form a healthy being. This process, by the way, took over seven months. You have been in a comatose state for that period while your body changed. It was a remarkable process, a process that had the entire scientific community at this complex completely and utterly enthralled.’

Seven months, I can’t believe it!

He paused, glanced at the others, and then continued. ‘We understand you didn’t know your mother. The healthiest code in your body was based on an ancestor; we initially assumed your mother, and further investigation later confirmed that.’ He paused and darted glances at the other two before continuing. ‘ Your body was altered, completely altered, to physically resemble your mother’s code,’ he emphasised. They stared at me with serious expressions, waiting while that sank in.

It took a few moments and I opened my mouth and this time, Professor Kruger didn’t try to stop me. ‘Are you trying to tell me I’m fe…’ I stopped, my voice sounded extremely strange to my ears and then it hit me. It was a woman’s voice!

‘Please don’t exert yourself, Jack,’ Brenda Peters said quickly as I tried to move. ‘We must take it one step at a time.’

‘I’m a woman?’ I had to ask, hoping that I had misunderstood them, but the strange voice that rang in my ears confirmed my first guess.

‘Yes, you are completely female, Jack. Apparently, the optimal genetic code was your mother at age twenty three.’

I blinked at that. ‘I’m twenty-three?’ I asked and even though my voice was strange to my ears, I heard the strain and fear in it.

‘Yes,’ Henry Kruger soothed. ‘We’re going to give you a sedative so you’ll rest for a while…’

‘No! Please don’t,’ I added, forcing my voice lower in tone, and they stopped. ‘I need to know the answers.’ They looked at each other, seeking confirmation. ‘I’m a scientist, Henry,’ I added, ‘I need to know.’

Professor Kruger nodded and smiled gently. ‘Of course, I think we’ll leave you with Brenda.’ They left and Brenda Peters came closer, a concerned look upon her face.

‘You must be the psychologist,’ I said. That voice, my mind silently screamed, it’s mine?

‘I’m afraid I am,’ she said with a smile as she sat next to me.

‘What is your specialty?’ It was small talk while my mind cantered along at extraordinary speed. I was a woman, I was my own worst nightmare?

‘Trauma counseling. Apparently the Pentagon thinks that being changed to a female is on the same level as murder, terrorist victims or hostages.’

I can understand that, I wanted to scream, can’t you? Why me? Why me! I managed a weak smile. ‘Can I see?’ Brenda nodded and produced a hand mirror.

I stared at the reflection of a young woman with dark hair and dark eyes with a slight almond shape. ‘My mother was Asian?’

‘Of Asian descent,’ Brenda said softly. ‘The Pentagon threw a lot of resources into investigating your parents.’

‘Is she alive?’

Brenda sadly shook her head. ‘No, she died in a car accident and you were delivered at the accident.’ She paused while that sank in. I had found my mother and lost her in one cruel precise moment. ‘Do you want to see the rest of you?’

I shook my head and dropped the hand mirror onto the bed. ‘I’m a doctor, I know what the female body looks like,’ I said bitterly.

Belinda shrugged. ‘For the record, your body is completely healthy. The cancerous cells have been eliminated and it appears the changes to your body have finished. All bodily functions are normal.’

‘I assume I was monitored during the process?’ Brenda nodded. ‘Can I see the tapes and the results of the tests?’

‘No, I’m afraid they’re classified above your security clearance.’

‘I have a high clearance.’

‘Not any more.’

I was astounded, and the completely surreal feeling brought on by the sound of my new voice and the image in the mirror remained. ‘But…’

‘General Buchanan has moved everything, including you, to a new facility and a lot has changed while you were in the coma. I think,’ she added when I opened my mouth to protest, ‘that you just assimilate everything the best you can. You and I will talk every day, okay?’ Resigned, I nodded and Brenda smiled. ‘Good. Now, the physiotherapists will come in now and help you from the bed. They’ve exercised you as much as they could while you were asleep.’ Brenda leaned forward, her eyes locked onto mind. ‘Co-operate, Jack,’ she whispered quickly and then said, ‘the exercises are good for you. Shall I ask them to come in?’

Something about her tone made me wary. I guessed then, that the room was monitored, probably bugged with cameras and microphones. It suddenly hit me that this discovery was a momentous one, one the Pentagon would wish to control at all costs. They don’t need you, my mind silently warned me, you could just be eliminated.‘ Yes,’ I said, my voice, a strangers voice ringing in my ears, ‘you’re right, send them in.’

The physiotherapists were jovial and enthusiastic women who helped me from the bed and began to help me become aware of my new body, and how I should do simple things like walk. Well, it should be simple, but it wasn’t and it took a while before I could move easily.

For two days I did nothing but exercise, walk and talk with Brenda. I listened carefully and made no comments but I felt as if I was wearing a mask, that I was peering through the eyeholes of some extreme mask at the world I knew. It’s ironic, I chuckled bitterly to myself, I’m wearing a mask conceived by a virus I called the Mask.

‘I believe your mind will adapt over time and I think you should assist that process as much as possible.’

‘If you say so,’ I said softly but inside my mind screamed, no way! I must find a way back; I know I can correct this error! I just need the facilities, that’s all and I’ll be Jack Rhodes, male, again!

I avoided mirrors; I could not reconcile myself to the idea that the thin, dark haired woman in the mirror was me. Brenda had tried to convince me that the ‘new me’ was very attractive, long legs, c-cup breasts and a face with high cheekbones and full lips, but I couldn’t see it. The fact is, I didn’t want to see it.

Brenda and the nurses helped me with underwear and I felt awkward at first but soon accepted it. But I became increasingly annoyed that I had to wear a bra, even though I wore only a sports bra. The breasts were the most annoying things about this body, constantly moving and reminding me of their presence, and that they were uncontrollable without a bra. I ignored any attempts to get me to wear make-up or to style my hair. As for clothing, I always wore a tee shirt, jeans and sneakers. They were women’s clothes but I felt a little more comfortable with them.

I hated this strange new body I was saddled with. It was awkward and the hair was annoying. Life had been so simple as a male. Short hair, a quick shower and that was it!

During the third week, General Buchanan and his entourage burst into the room, followed by Brenda and Henry. I was seated at the desk, dressed in jeans and tee shirt and laboriously practicing writing with a pen. There were days when I felt as if I was back in school.

Buchanan stared at me. ‘Is it really
Rhodes?’

‘Yes, General,’ Kruger said.

‘Amazing.’ The General walked closer. ‘Jack?’

‘Good morning, General.’ I answered.

He blinked, and then smiled bleakly at me. ‘I don’t believe it,’ he muttered.

‘General,’ I began, ‘why has my security clearance changed? And when can I get out of here?’

Buchanan smiled coldly; it was a smile I suddenly didn’t like. ‘You have no clearance as you are no longer Jack Rhodes.’

‘But…’

‘I don’t see Professor Jack Rhodes in here,’ Buchanan cut me short. ‘Do you?’ he asked his companions and they all shook their heads. ‘We have no way of knowing what your intentions are,’ he said to me. ‘As for getting out of here, I’m afraid you are a highly classified project and we need tests to ensure you don’t spread the virus.’

‘General,’ Kruger interrupted, ‘we have completed those tests. The virus is only transferred through injections.’

‘No matter,’ General Buchanan dismissed Kruger’s argument. ‘This is a potential weapon and it stays here until I decide. I’m going to require a great deal of convincing to allow it to go free.’

I resented being referred to as ‘it’ and was about to snap at the General when Brenda gave me a warning look and spoke. ‘I am compiling my recommendations on that, General…’

‘Good, I will read them when you submit them.’

‘No, I’m afraid my orders,’ she said with a tight smile, ‘are that my recommendations go directly to the White House.’

He glared at her and then tried to smile. ‘Of course, but through me.’

‘I will certainly send you a copy, General.’

He stormed out. Kruger grinned ruefully at me and followed the military entourage from the room.

Brenda turned and smiled. ‘I think we should get you dressed and go for a walk in the grounds.’

I opened my mouth, and she slightly nodded towards the corner where I supposed the bugs were, and I got the message. ‘That sounds wonderful, Brenda,’ I said with a smile.

We walked silently through the corridor, and Brenda signed me through the guard’s checkpoints, until we were in a small courtyard with a high wall around it, a small square of lawn and young birch trees.

Brenda sat on a stone bench and I sat besides her, listening as she spoke in a low voice, staring at the wall. ‘The camera is behind us so please listen to me and internalize what I’m saying before reacting. Buchanan wants to keep you here forever, or something worse, so the secret of the Mask Virus does not leak.’

Brenda suddenly stood and began pacing up and down and I guessed she was now performing for the camera.

‘I believe, that in time, you will begin to think and act naturally as a female. There are signs of it now, but I have no idea how long the process will take. My recommendations are that you remain here for tests for at least eight months, possibly a year and then providing that it is obvious you are no longer attached to the old personality and capable of living completely as a woman, you should be released back into the world to build a new life.’

She looked at me anxiously, and I turned slightly so the camera could see my face.

Instantly, I knew what I had to do. I had to convince everyone that Jack Rhodes had vanished! If I was to ever get out of here, and be free to rectify this horrible mistake, I had to convince everyone I was happy as a woman. ‘That sounds perfectly reasonable,’ I said with a smile. ‘General Buchanan appears to be a fair man.’ Brenda blinked at that; we both knew he was a complete bastard. ‘I will need help to learn, though.’

‘All of that will be provided,’ Brenda said with a smile. ‘I think it’s the best way forward, Jacquie,’ she added nervously, watching me for my reaction.

‘Jacquie,’ I said slowly and smiled, ‘I like it. I’ve always liked Jacqueline as a name.’ No, I didn’t, I’d had no thoughts about female names whatsoever, but if I had to act, I silently fumed, I would deserve an Oscar at the end of this! Anything, to get out of here, and back to where I could do research and figure out how to change back! I knew the problem was making sure the virus would not to select a female code; it would be difficult but I had confidence I would be able to find the solution.

‘Good,’ Brenda said with a sigh of relief. ‘We can begin. Is there anything else?’

‘Yes,’ I smiled. I had already figured out that females smile a lot. I had to accumulate mannerisms to help me convince the Pentagon that I was not only accepting of being female, but also happy about it. ‘Just one thing, I would like a refresher course on medicine so I can qualify as a G.P. I would like to be a doctor when I begin to build a life.’

Brenda nodded thoughtfully. ‘I see no problems with that, although with your age we’ll have to adjust the records to show you began to study medicine at an early age, a child prodigy,’ she added with a laugh. ‘It’s a good idea; in fact it’s keeping the
Rhodes skills alive, isn’t it? It’s also helping the community, Jacquie.’

I nodded but I was thinking otherwise. I couldn’t care less about the community but, as a medical practitioner, I would be able to begin the research more easily, especially if I was working in one of the large teaching hospitals.

As we walked back, I kept my eyes on the military and medical personnel that passed us in the hall, particularly paying attention to the females. If I was to get out of here quickly, I reasoned, I had to do my own research on females based entirely on observation so I could acquire habits and skills.

I smiled and Brenda smiled back. Jack Rhodes was on his way out of here and a moron like Buchanan will not be able to stop me!