Printer-friendly versionGILDI
by POLYROBOTICS1
I have to run. They will find me. I have to hide. They will track me down. I have to remain a man. These individuals have a nasty habit of removing their victims birth sex. They are the dread of the transphobic community. I am not one afraid of who I am, but I am terrified of any of these individuals. It is now a good time to backtrack. No one here. Title as GILDI. Excerpt as HIDE! Still safe no one has seen me yet. Damn one has shown up. Bypass me. Yes. The person is moving to more established authors. No. You tricked me. You deliberately came here just to find me. They have me. Run. If you can still run do so for I am in the hands of ...
The Guild of Evil Blonde Proofreaders
This story came to me, under an hour after reading the blog on BigCloset by the same title. Thank you for tickleing my muse for a while. Thank you for making these stories all easier to read.
LOL
A short humorous piece! Run, run the GEBPRs are coming!
Hugs!
grover
Plan? Ain't got no Plan!
"Beyond Thunder Dome"
Plan? Ain't got no Plan!
"Beyond Thunder Dome"
Yes, they are Evil
I agree, they are Evil.
But then, they are evil by definition so what else do you expect? Thanks for a short, funny bit to cheer us up.
Please wish Guild founders Janet and Karen, wannabe Strawberry blonde Amelia, Holly a most likely candidate for membership, Itinerant -- not sure about the hair -- and other members of the Guild the very best. Oh, and my sister the *original* evil blonde.
Us members of the League of Extraordinarilly Mundain Madmen and Illiterate Non-sensical Gits -- L.E.M.M.I.N.G.s -- and of the American Association of Seriously Hacknied and Obtuse Literary Engineers or A.S. ... um -- never mind -- need their help.
Seriously -- yes, I can be that -- these folks do a lot toward the sucess of our stories. Thanks.
John in Wauwatosa
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine)
Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine) Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
Ummm ....
John,
Shouldn't that be "American Society of Seriously Hacknied and Obtuse Literary Engineers"?
Itinerant
(Apprentice Wannabe Editor - GEBPR)
Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)
--
"Power corrupts. Powerpoint corrupts absolutely."
- Edward R. Tufte, professor emeritus of political science, Computer science and statistics, and graphic design at Yale
See???
I said he needed help also!
KJT
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
No Fair!
Now your ganging up on me.
I have half a mind to make you swim in the Menomonee River after the Brewers opener but even I'm not that sick. 750 million dollars later and some of the toilets flush directly into the river. Maybe that explains the Secret Stadium Sauce they offer in major league ball parks?
John in Wauwatosa
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine)
Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine) Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
Surely you exaggerate!
John in Wauwatosa said: "I have half a mind".
That's what I kept hearing, but I always thought it was just hyperbole. Who'da thunk it!
Karen J.
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
I gotta go for it.....
John (almost) never exaggerates anything and please DON'T call him Shirley unless he wants you to....
Sheesh... I think I've been awake much too long today. Old Airplane jokes are starting to overrun my mind or what's left of it. Nite Folks!
Bob
Picked a bad day . . .
Looks like you picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines! ;)
Nite Bobby!
Karen J.
Member of the Guild of Evil Blonde Proofreaders
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
No, no, no!
Somehow I knew the moment I typed that, someone here would not be able to resist.
Shame on you both!
That was supposed to be MY line.
* * * *
Mommy, Karen and Bob are picking on me! That Itinerant was mean too.
John in Wauwatosa
P.S. Oh, by the way.
Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwald gesput.
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine)
Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine) Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
Rights suspended
John's right of access to the Guild is restricted for the next three billion femtoseconds for using a known fatal joke.
So there!
;-)
Janet
Mistress of the Guild of Evil Blonde Proofreaders
Janet
Mistress of the Guild of Evil Blonde Proofreaders
Go out there...
and win one for the GEBPR!
Or, "I see... Blonde proofers..."
J
Needs Proofing
Want me to take care of "that" for you?
Oh, John, looks like you need a little help also . . . .
Karen J.
Member - Guild of the Evil Blonde Proofreaders
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
"THAT"?
Which that, witch that, No not "THAT".
IMMORTAL - KJV John 3:16
IMMORTAL - KJV John 3:16
That? That sounds painful
Karen,
I always appreciate your help, with the proofing and editorial stuff, but what *that* are we talking about here? And what is it *I* need help with? Your description has a forboding tinge to it.
Remember what Woody Allen said in Sleeper,
"Don't mess with my brain, it's my second favorite organ!"
I am happy to see you addiction to the !!! is under control.
"No, no put down the lopping shears ....Aaaaah!"
John in Wauwatosa
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine)
Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine) Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
ALLEVIATE
I now know not to have postis this piece of drivel. Everyone is after each other. Is this piece pure jest or is it the warning for all who come and visit here? Please answer. The Guild of Blond Proof Readers are finally putting down the red pens that are handed out to teachers and editors. No, not the blades, I will not follow you. Ouch, that hurt. All right, just promise me you will use a doctor, not just someone with a Doctorate.
IMMORTAL - KJV John 3:16
IMMORTAL - KJV John 3:16
I'll let the Mistress answer this
But, "jest" because you asked, we do have a specialist standing by, Dr. Joy. Has locations in Thailand and Mexico. She's quite good at editing things, turns out nice, clean-looking work with no editing scars. Trims the fat, smooths out the lines, and enhances the size of the top and the bottom of the project.
Sorry, I have to stop here and let Janet fill you in on the rest. Besides, I'm starting to giggle too much! ;)
Karen J.
Guild of Evil Blonde Proofreaders
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan