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In a four-story brownstone building just down the street from Bob
Arnold's Cyber Cafe, there lived a cat named Cosmic Charlie, who
understood the true nature of the universe. It existed to serve him.

Cosmic Charlie owned two humans, Doctors Nancy and Travis Dupree.
Travis was an internist and Nancy was a pediatrician. They kept the
building clean and kept Cosmic Charlie well fed, and in return Cosmic
Charlie allowed them to exist in his universe. This arrangement suited
Cosmic Charlie just fine.

Today Cosmic Charlie was surveying his domain. It was a midsummer
Wednesday and the doctors' office was normally closed, giving Cosmic
Charlie a lot more freedom to wander. Normally the two humans became
quite upset when Cosmic Charlie wandered into the offices or the
waiting room on the first floor of his building. It was something to do
with allergies. Like any benevolent despot, Cosmic Charlie recognized
the importance of not overly upsetting his subjects, and so he tried to
keep away from his humans' offices. They didn't seem to mind him inspecting the garage or the laundry room, neither did they object to
his presence on the second or third floor where the humans lived and
slept. The fourth floor was an apartment that the humans rented to
Muskowitz the spy, but that was another story.

Ah, but today was Wednesday in the summer, and the humans were not
normally in their office. So Cosmic Charlie exercised his feline
prerogative to snoop, and walked right in to the waiting room. The
waiting room was a wonderful place because it had toys for the human
children that came to see Doctor Nancy. Most of the toys were beneath
Cosmic Charlie's feline notice, but there were a few, like the red ball
or the sock monkey, that were positively delightful.

Cosmic Charlie was pushing the red ball around when it went under
the sofa. He followed it under to retrieve it. And just as he did, some
humans came into the waiting room.

Cosmic Charlie remained under the sofa and listened to the humans
talk. He recognized one voice as belonging to his human, Doctor Nancy.
The other voice was also female.

"I'm sorry to bother you on your day off, Nancy," Shelly said, "but
Baruchah has been up all night with a fever and she's been coughing."

Doctor Nancy said, "Don't worry about it, Shelly. You know you can
always come by if one of your girls is sick. Now let's get her into the
exam room and take a look at her."

Cosmic Charlie peeked out from under the sofa just in time to see
the two tall humans guide one of the small humans into the exam room. A
second small human with red hair was following, but she stopped when
she caught sight of Cosmic Charlie.

Normally, Cosmic Charlie would have quickly ducked back under the
protection of the sofa rather than risk an encounter with one of the
small humans. They were, in his opinion, nearly as annoying as his
humans' dog, Casey Jones, who always seemed to be sucking up to the
humans. Little humans always wanted to pick him up and rub his fur the
wrong way, not at all appreciative of the proper relationship between
humans and felines. But something about this little human was different.

She had piercing green eyes, the kind of eyes that could look right
into your soul. And When Cosmic Charlie looked at her, he could look
into her soul as well. He knew things right away with that special
awareness only a cat possesses. This little human had a kitten's soul!

Cosmic Charlie risked a little more exposure. He stepped out into full sight of young Maggie, the little human. "Meow," he said.

Maggie smiled. Evidently her kitten's soul gave her that magical
awareness only cats commanded. "Hello there," she said. "Would you like
to play?"

"Meow," replied Cosmic Charlie.

"I have a kitty with me. Her name is Pixel." Maggie held up her orange plush cat.

Cosmic Charlie was delighted! Oh, what a wonderful toy for a small
human to have! This was almost as good as the sock monkey. And she was
offering to share this treasure. Such generosity could only be rewarded
with an equally magnanimous gesture. Cosmic Charlie pushed out the red
ball. "Meow!" he exclaimed.

"You want to play with the ball?" she asked.

"Meow," he answered.

Then a most curious and wonderful thing happened. Maggie began
chanting in a very strange language. Cosmic Charlie thought he had
heard just about every word a human could say, but Maggie was using
words he had never heard. Then she spun around three times and the air
began to shimmer. She became smaller and smaller. She dropped down on
all fours, and the cloth coverings that humans wore disappeared. The
little human was gone, and in her place was a real kitten!

Of course, Cosmic Charlie had no way of knowing that Maggie was an apprentice witch, or that the words she had spoken were in the language of The Eldar. He didn't know that Maggie had once
been one of the tall humans, and in fact had been a tall male human. He
didn't know that Maggie's mother was a witch, who discovered Maggie's
very special kitten's soul. He didn't know how Shelly, the tall human
who adopted Maggie, had transformed a tall human into little girl and
gave her a home with lots of love. All that Cosmic Charlie knew was
that he had a new and wonderful playmate.

"Mew," said Maggie. Let's play!

"Meow," said Cosmic Charlie, and he swatted the red ball at her.

The two cats hit the red ball back and forth, attacking and trying
to subdue it. Then they turned their attention to Pixel. Cosmic Charlie
grabbed Pixel in his paws and sent her flying, and Maggie scampered
after her. The two kitties began pawing poor Pixel and batting her
about, but Pixel didn't seem to mind.

Just then, Cosmic Charlie heard the humans again. "Meow!" he cried out, my human is returning.

"Mew," said Maggie and she spun around three times trying to catch
her tail. She started to grow. As she got taller her clothes returned.

"Oh, there you are," said Shelly. "I was so worried about Baruchah that I almost forgot you, Maggie."

"That's okay, mommy," Maggie assured her. "I've been playing with a kitty."

Doctor Nancy said, "Cosmic Charlie, you naughty cat! You know you aren't allowed in the waiting room!"

Cosmic Charlie knew his human was upset, so he applied his feline
wisdom and rubbed against her leg. How could Nancy possibly stay mad at
such a cute cat?

"It's okay, Doctor Nancy," said Maggie. "It's my fault. I asked him to play. Please don't punish him."

As if in response, Cosmic Charlie hopped over to Maggie and rubbed his body against her leg in a very feline manner.

"Well that's unusual," said Nancy. "He usually doesn't take to children. You seemed to have impressed him, Maggie."

Shelly eyed her daughter suspiciously. "I think she has a special rapport with cats, Nancy."

"Still, I don't like him wandering into the waiting room. Some of
our patients are allergic to cat hair. Cosmic Charlie, you must stay
out of the offices. Understand?"

"Meow," he said. Maggie translated. "He understands."

"Okay, we'll let it go this time. And maybe you can help me out, Maggie. If your mother says you can."

Doctor Nancy looked up at Shelly. "Shelly, do you think Maggie can
cat-sit for me when Travis and I go on our cruise next month? Jenna
said she could watch Casey Jones, but I was afraid I would have to put
Cosmic Charlie in a kennel. I think he would like it better if he
stayed with a friend."

"It's all right with me," said Shelly, "but only if Maggie agrees to
take care of him. How about it, Maggie, are you up to the
responsibility?"

Maggie was thrilled. "Oh, yes, mommy, I'll take real good care of
Cosmic Charlie. I'll feed him and clean his litter box and we can play
with Pixel and the red ball and the sock monkey and it'll be so much
fun. Oh please can I take care of him mommy?"

Shelly smiled. "All right, I think we can cat-sit for a month. But
right now we need to get to the drug store and get your sister's
prescription filled."

"And get her some of your chicken soup, Shelly. Baruchah will be playing jump-rope with Maggie in a few days."

"Thanks, Nancy. Come along, Maggie. Say goodbye to the cat."

"Goodbye, Cosmic Charlie," Maggie said. "We'll play again real soon."

"Meow," said Cosmic Charlie. He watched as Shelly left with Maggie and Barucah.

Doctor Nancy looked at her cat. "You are such a ball of mischief!
But you seem to have made a friend today. Now get upstairs, you naughty
cat!"

Cosmic Charlie bounded up the steps to the living room. He had
established his dominance of the first floor again, and decided to
explore the living room. As he made his circuit of the carpet, he heard
the unmistakable sound of the can opener. He scurried to the kitchen,
and to his delight Doctor Nancy had just opened a can of his favorite
tuna cat food.

As Cosmic Charlie chowed down, he reflected on what a well-trained pair of humans he owned. Life was good!

©2004 Valentina Michelle Smith

This story was previously posted under the title "Cosmic Charlie's Kitten Tale."