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Chapter 1
(Sometime in 2008)

    In many ways it started off as very typical day. I arrived home from a long day at work, and after greeting Max the cat at the front door of my condo, I sorted through the day’s mail. For the most part it was the usual collection of bills, magazines, and junk mail. However, one letter stood out; it was the announcement for my thirtieth high school reunion.

    I opened it and saw that Winfield Scott Hancock High School’s class of 1978 would be having its reunion in three months. To be honest, I was surprised to have received the invitation in the first place. My old high school was back in the suburbs of Philadelphia, located near the birthplace of the Civil War general that bore its name, and I now lived in San Diego, and for the most part I’d had no contact with my classmates in years. In fact I couldn’t wait to leave as fast as I could following my graduation.

    After sitting down on the couch, I re-read the letter several times over, not quite sure what to do with it. But the more I thought about it I knew that I had no intention of attending.

    While I loved going back to Pennsylvania to see my sister or cousins, it was no longer my home. I had given up that right almost as soon as the ink on my high school diploma was dry.

    As you might have guessed from my comments, high school was not one of my best times. For the life of me, I can never understand how people can call it such a wonderful time. While I understand that many people share my somewhat negative attitude, I had an additional reason to dislike my high school experience, I was in constant fear of being outed.

    I didn’t know the term for it back then, but I was constantly fighting feelings… no make that urges… even that term isn’t strong enough; I guess the best description would be compulsions to dress in women’s clothes. It wasn’t until many years later that I realized that I was transgendered.

    Now being this was the 1970s, the ability to get information on this dilemma was difficult, to say the least. There was no Internet, no cable television… hell; Jerry Springer was just some obscure politician from Cincinnati, Ohio.

    No, one didn’t bring up the fact that they were different back then.     I was in constant fear of my secret being discovered. Oh, I did my best to fit in, but I was only moderately successful in this battle.

    To be blunt, I existed on the fringes of popularity. I wasn’t into drugs, and that made the ones who were suspicious of me.  I know what you’re thinking, if I wanted to fit in…or even more accurate…not stand out, why not smoke a little dope? What was the harm? Part of it was that I tried it a few times, and it did nothing for me. Second, thanks to my dad’s job, I was too well known in our town.

    My dad was the manager for the local public works department, and I had worked several summers for him. He was very popular and respected, and as his son, I got to meet most of the town’s civil servants. Now, back then, if the cops caught some teens smoking or drinking, they would just take the stuff and send them home. If I had ever been caught, my dad would have found out immediately, and the last thing I wanted to do was to get kicked out of the house.

    Anyway, to continue with my life story, I had great parents and a cool older sister, and for the most part we got along quite well. To me, getting caught with some dope wasn’t worth it. The trouble is, this excuse didn’t hold even a single drop of water among my classmates.

    While I didn’t have a social life to speak of, I did work in the local mall. It was in a retail store, and the money wasn’t bad, especially because I was paid under the table.

    Back to the gender issues, I fought these feelings all the time and couldn’t understand them. I thought they were a sexual fetish, but when I was dressed, I didn’t feel aroused. It was so strange, and of course there was no one to talk to about it. Hell, in health class we had a big discussion on the recent declassification of homosexuality as a mental illness. Actually, it wasn’t a discussion, the health teacher, i.e. football coach, called it stupid and belittled anyone with a different opinion. Naturally, I was one of those who sat back and nodded silently in agreement. I mean, if being homosexual was wrong, what did that make me?

    So I did what many people in the same situation would do, I joined the navy upon graduation. Actually, I joined while I was still in high school under a delayed enlistment program. My guidance counselor thought I was wasting my life. Remember, this was just a few years after the fall of South Viet Nam, so the military wasn’t exactly seen as a solid career path.

    I joined for many reasons. My family had a military tradition, I wanted to see the world, I wanted adventure, I lacked money for college, and basically I thought it would purge me of my abnormal thoughts.

    So, four weeks after graduation I was on a jet to boot camp in Orlando, Florida.

    Now, while the navy was far from perfect, I found that I was good at what I did. I also took advantage of the education programs and eventually was commissioned as an officer. In all, I would have to say that I had a great career in the twenty years I served.

     However, the navy didn’t drive away my transgendered feelings. Yes, I finally figured out I was transgendered, but decided to finish out my twenty years to get my retirement. True, there was the stress of worrying about being caught, but I mastered the skills of being a chameleon and no one suspected my dual life.

    I only went to one reunion, my tenth, and in less than twenty minutes I remembered why I had left so quickly back in 1978. I decided then that I wouldn’t attend another reunion. I had little to nothing in common with most of the people there. Over half of them hadn’t even left the area. When I told them I was still in the navy, they shook their heads in disbelief. They wondered why I would waste my life in the military. I might as well have been a Martian. I wondered why some of them were wasting their own lives. I had thought that the people in the top of my class would have gone on in the business world by now well on their way to being the CEO of a company. Instead, most of them were still working at the local mall in menial jobs at minimum wage.

    I ignored later invitations and letters, yet, they still were able to track me down. I re-read the letter again, and then slowly crumbled it up and tossed it on the carpet for the cat to play with.

Chapter 2

    Two weeks later, I got another invitation to the reunion. In addition to the letter I got a call from one of my high school classmates. To be honest, I couldn’t even place the name of the person calling. But this wasn’t that strange as my graduating class was huge: as we had over 850 people in it. I graduated with people I had never even seen before.

    Anyway, the woman, whose name was Beth-Ann Spellman, asked me if I was interested in attending the reunion. The name wasn’t familiar to me and at first I thought she just must have been an organizer for the events and not a classmate.

    As we talked she told me that we had been in several classes together and hoped that I would attend. I made a mental note to dig out my old yearbook and see if I recognized her, as the name still didn’t ring a bell.

    I was polite and told her that it was unlikely, as it would be difficult to get away from work. She was persistent and said that she would send me the online data sheet, so even if I couldn’t attend, my info would end up in the almanac they were publishing.

    Oh, and I could tell that she didn’t really didn’t remember me either as she called me Eddie, a name that almost no one in my life had ever called me since I was seven, and those people had been family.

    I graciously told her that I would take a look at it. My thoughts turned to my dual life, and I wondered what they would think if I included it in my profile. I worked as a guy, but my life outside of work was spent as a woman. Yeah, I know, it wasn’t perfect, but I needed to clean up some real world issues before starting my transition. I also knew that even though I saw myself as a woman, my body showed the effects of forty-eight years of testosterone, and to play full time I would need some facial surgery.

    Beth-Ann thanked me for my time and before she hung up told me that I should think about attending the reunion, as high school wasn’t all that bad.

    I mumbled some reply and hung up. She had no idea how bad high school had been for me. If only I had been a girl, things would have been different and I might have considered attending the reunion.

    Now don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for those kids today who are undergoing transition as a child, and I often find myself wishing things could have been different when I was younger. It would have saved so much heartache, and I might actually want to go back for the reunion.

    I poured myself a glass of my favorite cheap house red wine: Charles Shaw, or as it’s known out here, two-buck Chuck, as that’s the price at Trader Joe’s. I could afford the more expensive stuff, but I liked the flavor of two-buck Chuck. Then I began to channel surf, unfortunately there was nothing interesting on the tube.

    Max the cat, seeing an open lap, jumped up and made himself very comfortable. With a slight nudge of his head, I was reminded that I wasn’t petting him. As I sat there, I wondered how different things would have been if I had been actually born as a girl.

    Even with my gender issues, I couldn’t deny that I had seen and done some pretty cool things in my life. I had been to over thirty countries, hiked up Mt. Fuji, snorkeled in the Red Sea, swam in the Dead Sea, gotten drunk at Oktoberfest in Munich, fought in a war and done many other things. I also had a very successful life after the service, at least when it came to my career.

My personal life was a different story. Thanks to my gender issues, I had never been able to stay in a meaningful relationship. It was a huge void in my life.

    There was also the regret about not being honest with my parents. I’d told my older sister Alice several years ago, but both my parents had passed on. I rationalized the numerous reasons why it made sense not to tell them, but there were times when it had hurt so badly not being able to be totally honest with them. Yeah, I know it was probably the right thing to do, but it really stinks at times to be honorable.

    I finished off the first bottle and opened a second. If I was going to be depressed about my life I might as well have a few drinks.

    I stared at the invitation to the reunion before crumbling it up and tossing it towards the trashcan before reaching for the bottle of wine to refill my glass. Max leapt off my lap and attacked the wad of paper.

    I finished the second bottle of wine before heading to bed. I decided not to even open the email from Beth-Ann; some sleeping dogs are best left alone.

    I shook my dead in disgust as I pondered how life would have been better if I had been born female.

Chapter 3

    Maybe it was the two bottles of wine, or maybe I was just really tired, but I slept really deeply that night. Normally, I have a great internal alarm clock and often wake up before my clock radio goes off, but this morning, I was in a very deep sleep.

    I slowly became aware that someone was talking to me.

    “Honey, wakeup! You don’t want to be late for school,” called a familiar voice.

    School? What kind of dream was this? I hadn’t had the late-for-school dream in years, I thought as I struggled to wake up.

    “Ellen, you need to get up now! Don’t make me come in there young lady!”

    That sounded just like my mom’s voice. With great difficulty, I opened up my eyes. Something was wrong, I wasn’t in my bedroom. I sat up and looked around. No, I was in my bedroom, but it was the bedroom that I had grown up in back in Pennsylvania.

    Suddenly it all became so familiar again. I could see the familiar large maple tree just outside the window.

When I sat up in bed, I automatically swept my hair back out of my eyes and froze. Why was my hair so long? If this was a dream, it was the most realistic that I had ever had.

    I jumped out of bed and stared at the large mirror above the dresser.

    I was a girl. I mean, I looked like me back in high school…but a female version. I was wearing a short nightgown, and I pulled it up to confirm with my eyes what my feelings told me.

    I had breasts; something in my mind told me that my bra size was 34-C. I reached down into my panties and discovered that the change was complete.

    “Holy shit!” I exclaimed loudly. My hands then went to my mouth in shock as I heard my voice, which was soft and feminine.

    “Watch your mouth, young lady,” corrected my mom from behind my closed bedroom door.

    “Sorry…Mom,” I replied sheepishly.

    “Look, I know it must be hard to get up for the first day of school, but you don’t want to be late. I mean, you’re a senior now,” said Mom.

    I looked at the calendar above my desk and saw that Tuesday, September 6th 1977 was circled in red. I looked at the clock; it read 6:15 AM. It was the first day of my senior year in high school…AGAIN! I sat down on the edge of my bed in shock.

    “Dad is done with the bathroom, so the shower is open,” said Mom.

    “Thanks,” I replied. Could this be real or just a realistic dream due to a couple bottles of inexpensive red wine?

    I looked around the room; it was definitely my old room, the room that I had grown up in, even though the furniture was now very different. It then hit me that it was the same white furniture that had been in my sister’s room…back in my old life.  

In addition to a dresser and a chest of drawers, there was a makeup table and a desk. A rather large stereo took up one corner of the desk. I had forgotten how big they used to be. I stared it and realized that it had an eight-track and a turntable!

Next, I looked in the closet and saw it was filled with women’s clothing and shoes…my things.

    Okay, just go along with this, and you’ll either wake up or hopefully figure out what’s going on, I thought.

    “Are you up, dear?” asked Mom again.

    “Yes, Mom,” I replied as I slipped on my robe and headed to the bathroom.

Chapter 4

    I definitely had a complete female body, and to be honest, it wasn’t too bad. I had a nice figure. I also had a very pleasant face. I looked similar to my sister had at this age, although my hair was lighter in color.

    I had no trouble doing my makeup, hair and picking out an outfit for school. I couldn’t believe the style my hair was in, I had forgotten about 70s hair styles. It was shoulder length, with the ends flared up.  The color was light brown, several shades lighter than what my hair had been as a guy. For some reason, I somehow knew to use the right amount of hair mousse to give me just the right look.

For clothes, I picked out a pair of jeans and a short sleeve floral blouse. The jeans were very tight.  The blouse was also a bit tighter than I would have liked, and it really emphasized my breasts. I debated picking out something else, but looking at the clock, I knew that I didn’t have time.

    The house I grew up in was a standard three-bedroom split-level. I stepped out of the bedroom, walked down the eight steps and turned right into the kitchen. I smiled when I heard the sound of the Philadelphia news station on the radio. I had forgotten how my parents always listened to it every morning.

    My mom was sitting on a stool by the counter, and Dad was sitting in his normal chair, drinking his coffee. I froze and almost gasped.

    “You okay, dear?” asked Mom.

    I fought to compose myself. Dad had died of complications of chronic bronchitis in 1988, and Mom had passed away in her sleep in 2005. I suddenly realized how much I had missed both of them. My emotions overrode my attempts at control, and I immediately hugged Dad and then did the same to Mom.

    “What’s all this about?” asked Dad in a false tone of irritation. I could tell that he was actually pleased despite his gruff exterior.

    “I’m sorry, it’s just that…this is such a big day,” I stammered. I had to fight off crying, and the last thing I wanted to do was redo my makeup.

    “Honestly, it’s like you haven’t seen us in years,” said Mom.

    I just smiled.

    “What do you want for breakfast?” she asked.

    “Just toast and coffee, please,” I said as I sat down. I had to fight staring at Dad.

    “When did you start drinking coffee?” asked Mom as she placed her hands on her hips.

    Shit, that’s right, I thought. It then hit me. “Mom, I’m eighteen in two days, what’s the harm?”

    Mom shook her head, but she poured me a mug.

    “Sounds like she’s really growing up,” said Dad.

    I added a little sugar, some milk and took a sip.

    “Well?” asked Dad.

    “Good to the last drop,” I replied with a grin.

    “How’re you getting to school today?” asked Mom.

    I searched my memory as I took another sip. I hadn’t the slightest idea. The bus did pick-ups at the end of the street, but I was a senior now.

    I was saved by someone knocking on the screen door.

    Mom looked out to the door. “It’s for you, dear.”

    I got up and saw a pretty girl with long black hair standing next to a strawberry blonde. I searched my memories and remembered that the girl with long black hair was Gina and the blonde was Judy.

    Gina’s parents had moved to the US twenty years ago from Naples, Italy. On the other hand, Judy’s family had lived in the Philly area for generations. The two girls were very close friends.

    I walked over and opened up the door.

    “Hey, Elle, you want a ride?” asked Gina.

    I had always liked Gina and even tried to ask her out once. The same thing applied to Judy.

    “That sounds great,” I replied. “Bye, Mom; bye, Dad.” I then leaned over and kissed Dad on the forehead.

    I picked up my purse and headed out the door. If this was a dream, I was going to make the most of it.

Chapter 5

    Now this might sound strange, but I was more fascinated by being back in 1977 than by being a girl. It was so strange seeing all the old cars and not seeing cell phones and all the other technological advances that I had grown so used to. I really had to keep myself from staring at the cars. I mean, I forgot how big they were.

    It was also pretty cool listening to the radio as we rode to school in Judy’s car. It slowly was sinking in that I was back in the 70’s.

    “Hey, play that new cassette you got, Judy,” said Gina.

    “You’ve got to hear this new singer, Elle” said Judy as she inserted the cassette into her car’s player. “My brother made me a copy of his album. He bought it in London over the summer; it hasn’t been released over here yet.”

    I somehow remembered that Judy’s brother was in college. Without think I began to sing along with the song.

    “Hey, how do you know this song?” asked Judy.

    “Yeah, no offense, Elle, but I never thought of you liking punk,” said Gina. “Come to think of it, you’ve always been a little conservative in your music tastes.”

    I had to act quickly. “I heard it on a college station when I was visiting Jeannie, over the summer,” I lied. I also smiled at them calling Elvis Costello punk, but then again, he was pretty radical for 1977. “People change as they grow up; you’d be surprised by my taste in music.”

    “Wow, I thought I heard this first,” said Judy. “I mean, my brother said this is his first album.”

    The song was Alison by Elvis Costello, and I couldn’t tell them that I had been a fan for years. I’m glad I didn’t say that I had it on CD, as that really would have confused them.

    “Maybe we should go to the mall after school and you pick out some other music,” said Gina. “It would be cool to be on things before the rest of our class.”

    “Sounds great,” I replied.

Chapter 6

    I managed to find my locker and homeroom without great difficulty. I found that it was best to just follow my instincts. It was really sinking in that this wasn’t a dream. I was now a seventeen-year-old girl named Ellen and was starting my senior year again.

    While the idea of repeating high school wasn’t exactly appealing, the fact that I was now a girl was extremely exciting. I took out my driver’s license and read my name printed on it. It also hit me that there was no photo on it, just my name, address, birth date, hair color, eye color, height and weight. No wonder it had been so easy to have a fake ID. I looked around and realized that dozens of girls could have used my ID.

    As I looked around my homeroom the names gradually began to match the faces. Thankfully, whatever had sent me back in time had given me the knowledge to survive. My life as Ellen also began to become clearer.

    While I had dated often, I didn’t have a boyfriend. As I thought about this fact, it hit me that I now liked boys. I looked around the room and noticed that there were several very cute guys in my class. Well, this would definitely take some getting used to.

    It also hit me that I still liked girls…this would make things interesting I thought.

    I also began to recall that I had a pretty good GPA and that I was involved in several school clubs, including student government; in all I was far more active as Ellen than I had ever been as Ed.

    As I reviewed my schedule it was clear that it wasn’t going to be a very difficult year academically. I was scheduled for American Literature, Ecology, Telecommunications, US Government, Astronomy, and PE.  It was similar to what I had done the first time…as a guy, as I had packed my schedule in my first two years of high school so my senior year would be easy.

    I compared my schedule with some of the others in my homeroom.

    “Hey, Elle, looks like we’re in PE together,” said Janet, a large breasted blonde.

    I looked at the schedule and nodded. Then it hit me that it was an aquatics class. Our school had a large indoor pool, along with many other bells and whistles. I wondered what I would look like in a bathing suit…and how I would react being in a locker-room full of other girls.

Chapter 7

    As it became obvious that this wasn’t a dream, the reality of the situation began to sink in. I was now a young woman and had the opportunity to relive my life over. My mind was soon awash with the possibilities.

    Now, just in case you thought I hadn’t thought of it, I did start to ponder the fact that I knew the future and the associated consequences.

    What was strange was that while I had no trouble retaining my school knowledge and cultural knowledge, it was difficult to remember major historical events.  

    I flipped open one of my notebooks and began to write down facts. I easily listed the Super Bowl and World Series champions, but listing the presidents was a little difficult. I got as far as George W Bush, but no further. I could picture the next president’s face, but not his name. I could remember something about a scandal, but it was too vague.

    I also listed upcoming technological advances such as the Sony Walkman, Nintendo, compact discs, Apple computers, Microsoft and others. I also tried to include the dates in which they came out. Maybe I could use this for my future investments.

    There were some things that troubled me. I knew something bad had happened in September 2001, but what it was I had no idea. I wrote a warning next to the month and year. There was also something about a new illness that affected the immune system, but that’s all I could remember.

    It started to give me a headache, so I stopped and began to pay attention to the teacher. I would go back to it whenever I thought of something new.

    Whoever or whatever had caused all this hadn’t done it to change the world. Then again, I wondered if I was in the same world, maybe I was in a parallel universe? Other than the fact that I was a girl, things didn’t seem different, but I would keep an eye open.

    The reality of being a woman also began to sink in. I remembered how my sister had told me of her limited opportunities in school and career opportunities. She had told me that Dad hadn’t even wanted her to go to college, that it was wasted on women. Now, I would have to deal with that too.

    If I went back into the Navy, I couldn’t go to sea… as women weren’t allowed on warships.  I hadn’t counted on that.  

    With Alice in already in college, I had limited options, as Dad didn’t make enough to put two into college. I instinctively knew that I had some money put away, but that would only get me into the local community college, Montgomery County Community College, which we called 202-U as it was located off Route 202. I began to wish that I had been sent back a few more years, so I would have more time to decide what I was going to do.

    My grades were good, but any scholarships I could get wouldn’t be enough.

    I thought of career opportunities for a young woman with only a high school diploma and cringed. I didn’t want to be a salesgirl or work in an office as a secretary.

    There was another option, but that wasn’t something I even wanted to consider. I wanted a life, and the idea of getting married and becoming a housewife made me cringe.

    My euphoria at being a girl was being shot down by the reality of life.

Chapter 8

    Then there was the distraction of boys. While in my old life I had been with a man a few times, it always felt un-natural. Even when I dressed as a woman, it felt strange, as they’d seemed more interested in the fact that I was a woman with a dick.

    Now, I was a complete woman…and boys were nice. However, before I went too far, the other side of this situation hit me. I opened my purse and found that I had several tampons in a side compartment. I felt a chill as I realized that I could now get pregnant. There was no way I was ready for that. I then saw something else in my purse, and without taking it out, I knew what it was…birth control pills.

    I was stunned! Obviously, Mom had helped me get them, so that meant she knew that I was or could be sexually active. I frantically searched my new memories and confirmed that I was still a virgin, although I had gotten close last summer with Bill McGwire. Whoa, that was a shock. I was friends with Bill in my past life, but to think that I almost lost my virginity to him in this one was a shocker.

I then noticed that Bill was in my current class. When I looked over at him, he noticed and smiled. I smiled back. I hadn’t noticed before, but he was a good looking guy. I could do worse, I thought.

Bill was around six feet tall and of average build. Like most guys in school, he had long hair – his was light brown with a slight curl to it. Thankfully it was naturally curly and not a perm. I still couldn’t get over all the guys with perms. He also had dark blue eyes.

I searched my memories and remembered something about him becoming a fireman.

My newfound memories told me that I had been to a party in August at his house. There had been beer and pot, and I remembered that I got a little buzzed. I also recalled making out with him in the rec-room. He had me partly undressed, and we would have gone further, if his parents hadn’t come home.  I wondered if he would ask me out.

Chapter 9

After class I got my answer. He walked over to me and smiled.

“Hi, Elle,” he said.

“Hi,” I replied.

“Where are you going now?” he asked.

I looked at my schedule. “Lunch, what about you?”

“Same,” he replied with a smile. “How have you been?”

“Good,” I replied.

We headed towards the large lunch area together. Yeah, I know…I should have done something different; I mean, I was new at this, but he was so nice.

“Sorry, I didn’t call,” he said meekly.

I looked over at him and nodded.

“I also…I mean, I didn’t mean for what happened back in August to happen like that. I mean, I like you… I like you a lot,” he stammered.

I smiled back at him. I remembered my nervous attempts to talk to girls when I was a boy and sympathized for Bill.

“It’s okay,” I replied. “I know what you mean.”

“So, you’re not angry at me?” he asked timidly.

I laughed. “No.”

He smiled back. “You want to go to the game with me this Friday?”

Our terrible football team was playing their first game of the season, but it was the place to go on a Friday, and there were usually parties afterwards.

“Sure, I’d like that,” I replied.

“Cool,” he replied.

Holy shit, I was going out on a date!

Chapter 10

One thing that confirmed that I wasn’t in an alternative universe was the fact that the school lunch was as awful was I had remembered. Today’s feeble attempt at barely edible food was cheeseburgers, which were mostly soy, and awful greasy fries. I skipped that and got a salad, which was mostly iceberg lettuce and two pieces of carrot and one piece of radish. Health food was obviously a few years away.

Bill went off to eat with some guys, and I sat down with Judy and Gina.

“So, are you and Bill together?” asked Judy with a smile.

She had been at the same party and obviously had seen us together.

“Maybe,” I replied with a grin.

    “He’s pretty cute,” said Gina.

    I nodded. “Changing the subject, what are you planning on doing after graduation?”

    “I’ll probably get just married,” stated Gina with a sigh.

    I vaguely remembered something about her marrying a guy who worked for her father’s construction company. I think she already had three kids when I saw her at the ten year reunion.

    “I’m actually thinking about the army,” said Judy. “Jean talked to a recruiter over the summer, and he told her that if we passed the test we could go to foreign language school in Monterey California. I would also earn money for college.”

    Jean was a girl that I had known since second grade. She was a diehard liberal, and the idea of her joining the army had always made me smile.

    I nodded as I picked through my meager salad. While I couldn’t repeat the same path that I had done before, I could get into some pretty good fields and earn money for college.

    “What are you going to do?’ asked Gina.  

    “I may look into the military too,” I said. “I don’t want to go to 202-U and just kill time.”

    With my twenty years of experience in my previous life, I knew that I would have no trouble adjusting back to the military life. I might not do a career, but it would be a nice place to start. At least I could earn some money for college.

    “I agree, but that’s where a lot of our class seems to be going,” said Judy.

    “Another reason not to go there,” I replied with a grin.

    Judy and Gina began to laugh.

    “I can’t believe that we’re finally seniors,” said Gina.  

    “I know,” I replied as I finished off my salad. I looked around the cafeteria and only saw milk and juice machines. I could really use a Diet Coke, but it hadn’t been invented yet, and there was no way that I was about to start drinking Tab. I think if you looked in a dictionary in 1977 and looked up the word vile, there was a picture of a can of Tab.

    “Where do you think we’ll be in say…thirty years from now?” I asked.

    “Who knows?” said Judy.

    Others at the table joined in and offered their opinions on where we would be in thirty years.

    I wondered if I would be back in high school. Was this a loop that would keep repeating, or was this a one time deal?

Chapter 11

    After school Judy, Gina, and I stopped at Montgomeryville Mall, which had just opened the previous spring.

    As we walked around the large two-level mall, I noticed that many stores were hiring. I really wasn’t worried about my class load and figured that I could use some extra money. I had worked at the same mall in my previous life and knew that the money could be pretty good and the hours flexible.

    I mentally made some notes on which stores were hiring. I ruled out all the fast-food places and most of the big chain stores as they were less flexible with hours. The smaller, privately owned stores often paid teens under the table.

    We stopped in the record store and checked out the latest releases. It was really strange seeing actual record albums again. I had forgotten how large they were compared to CDs. I ignored them and moved to the cassettes. I picked out a few “old favorites”, most notably Steely Dan’s latest Aja and Bob Marley and the Wailer’s Exodus. I figured I might as well introduce reggae to my high school.

    “You’re actually buying that?” asked Judy as she looked at the cover.

    “It’s really good, trust me on this,” I stated.

    “But, look at his hair!” she remarked as she shook her head in disgust. “He has braids!”

    “They’re called dreadlocks,” I said as I corrected her.

    The salesperson was slightly shocked by my selections, but at the same time he was pleased. He had the look of a real stoner and probably only worked at the store to get the latest releases. His eyes were a little bloodshot, although he was trying to hide this fact by wearing sunglasses.

    “So, you actually like reggae?” he asked.

    “Sure, I’m surprised that you have it,” I replied with a smile.

    He laughed as he took my money.

    We then floated around the mall to the various shops. I ended up buying a bottle of nail polish that Judy insisted would look great on me. It was a bright pink, and I had my doubts, but I bought it anyway.

    On the way back home, I played the Bob Marley cassette. They were a little slow to warm up to it, but I think they started coming around by the time we got home.

Chapter 12

    After dinner, I continued writing in my notebook. It would have been so much easier with my laptop, but being they hadn’t been invented yet, I had to do it the old fashioned way.

    I continued to discover large gaps in my knowledge of the future. I knew that when I was in the navy I had gone off to war, but now I couldn’t recall against who it had been. I knew that it happened sometime in the early 1990s, but after that I was clueless.

    I then turned my attention to life as a girl. While it was obvious that I liked boys a lot now, as I thought about it, I found that I also still had feelings for other girls. Being it was 1977, I knew enough to keep these feelings in check. The last thing I needed was to be labeled a lesbian.

    Back to boys, I knew that I would also have to watch myself. While I was eager to explore my new body and life, I didn’t want to go overboard either.

    It then hit me that I hadn’t started to play around with my new body. It was nearly nine-thirty, and I knew that Mom and Dad would be watching TV. I closed my bedroom door and locked it.

    I changed into my nightgown and lay down on my bed. I started by rubbing my nipples and found that they were very sensitive. I was slightly shocked at how hard they got as I rubbed them.

    While one hand alternated between my nipples, the other hand slipped down and began to rub the outside of my vagina. I was tentative at first, but soon I was slipping my fingers inside of it and rubbing against my clit.

    It was better than I had ever dreamed. In a very short time I worked myself up to a monstrous orgasm. But it wasn’t just one, but wave after wave of pleasure sweeping through my body. I bit my lip to prevent making too much noise, although I wasn’t sure how successful I was. I had the feeling that I would be very noisy during sex.

    As I lay there in post-orgasmic bliss, I tried to rationalize what had happened to me. Waves of questions began to come to the surface. Was this permanent, or would I wake up in San Diego? What would I do with my life? Was there a purpose for this change, or was it just a cosmic gift, righting a wrong hat never should have happened?

    It was too complicated to ponder all at once, so I gave up and went to sleep.

Chapter 13

    I woke up to my clock radio going off and hearing Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas. I looked over at the radio and noted the position on the dial. The station was 93.3 – WMMR, one of two main FM rock stations in Philadelphia. As I listened to the song, it hit me that I was still a girl, and it was still 1977. I couldn’t help but smile.

    In many ways I was very pleased to still be Elle. It felt great not to be in personal conflict. My mind and body finally matched, and it was wonderful. True, I had some time issues to get used to, but I had already lived through these years once, so I was pretty confident I could do it again.  Yes, I still had a lot to get used to, but I was pretty sure that I could.

So, I got out of bed and got ready for school. I was ready to start my second day as a high school girl.

    As with the previous morning, it was great to see my parents again. It was wonderful to have them in my life again.

    “Is Alice coming home this weekend?’ I asked.

    “She’s planning on it,” said Mom.

    My sister was attending college in Philadelphia, and even though it was only forty minutes away, she stayed in the dorm. I can’t blame her; it was a lot easier, and I’m sure she was enjoying her freedom. Still, I knew she enjoyed coming home for the weekend.  Her boyfriend, Jim, attended another local college, and it was the only time they could really get together.

    “By the way, make sure you keep Saturday night open,” said Mom.

    It took me a second to realize what she was talking about. My birthday was the next day, and it was family tradition to go out for dinner. I didn’t mind as long as Friday was free.

    “Okay,” I replied. “So where are we going?”

    “Gino’s,” said my dad without looking up from the paper. I had a hazy memory that the Gino’s restaurants were fast food places a lot like McDonalds. Their food was pretty greasy, even by fast food standards and they were long gone by the early 1980’s.

    “We are not going to Gino’s,” said Mom.

    “Too fancy? Okay, how about the Tremont?” asked Dad.

    The Tremont was Dad’s favorite restaurant. It had been torn down in the 1990s, but now it was an excellent upscale restaurant. I immediately was looking forward to going there.

    “That sounds great,” I replied. “Well, I’ve got to go, bye.”  

    As with the previous day, I kissed Dad goodbye. Part of the reason for my fast exit was that it had just hit me that we held the reception after Dad’s memorial service at the Tremont, and it had been the last time I had been there. I almost wished that my old personal memories were as bad as my historical ones. Knowing when a loved one is going to die is horrific.

Chapter 14

    Judy’s car was a 1972 dark green Chevy Nova, and it pulled up at almost the same time I stepped out of the house.

    “Good morning,” I said as I walked towards the car.

    Once inside, I reached into my purse and pulled out a five dollar bill. I handed it to Judy. If I remembered it right, with a gallon of gas going for less than seventy-five cents, this would more than cover my share.

    “What’s this for?”

    “Gas,” I replied.

    “Wow, first time for everything!” she replied as she put the five into her purse.  “Thanks, Ellen.”

    “Funny,” I said. “I’ve paid before.”

    “I know you have,” said Judy. “I just wanted to give you some grief.”

    “Um, I pay too,” added Gina.

    “Seriously, I appreciate it,” said Judy. “Oh, I talked to my brother, and he’s shocked that I have a friend who likes Bob Marley. He said he would send you some copies of some other albums.”

    I just laughed, thinking about the other musicians I would introduce to them.

Chapter 15

    Bill and I had a great talk before class. I was falling for him even as every alarm in my head was going off; telling me it was way too soon. I found myself wondering what it would be like to be kissed by him.

    After class we walked to the cafeteria together.

    “There’s a party over at Mark Palmer’s house after the game, can you go?”

    I nodded. ‘I just have to be home by midnight.”

    “No problem,” he replied. He then took my hand into his, and he held it until we reached the cafeteria.

    I felt a chill run through my body, a chill of excitement.

    “You don’t mind?” he whispered into my ear.

    “No, not at all,” I replied.

    We broke apart when we reached the cafeteria, but not before Jean, Gina and the rest of my friends saw us holding hands.

    Naturally, I took some good natured ribbing when I sat down, but I didn’t mind. Bill was a nice guy. I also recalled my rather dismal dating record my first time through high school. I wasn’t about to do something stupid, but at the same time I wasn’t about to sit on the sidelines again.

    I was pleased that Bill found me attractive. I mean, I had a nice body, and I had to admit that I was pretty. Deep down, there was a part of me that wondered if the only reason why Bill was interested in me was our little fling at the summer party.

    Even though I wasn’t there at the time, I had very vivid memories of the party. Yes, I had been drinking, but I wasn’t drunk, and yes, I had smoked a few joints, but I wasn’t wasted either. No, what stuck in my memories was that I wanted to be with him badly.

    I guess I still carried the biased view that guys are brought up with about girls. That is that if a girl wants sex, she’s a slut. I cringed thinking that I could end up with that sort of reputation. There were so-called bad girls in our class, and I knew several of them from growing up in the school district. They hadn’t seemed that different growing up, and I wondered what made them different.

    While I no longer had my gender issues, I now realized that I had other issues to deal with. In just my second day as a girl, I was aware of several of them, and I wondered what else was in store for me.

Chapter 16

    There were other things to get used to. For one, I was several inches shorter than I had been as a male. Naturally, I was less strong physically, which would take some getting used to.

    Then there was the whole age thing. While I was about to turn eighteen, I was still too young to drink legally; however, Jersey was only forty minutes away and they had an eighteen year old age limit. I would be old enough to vote, but not old enough to get a rental car. 

    Also, living with my parents, I had a curfew to deal with. I understood the reason for it, but it would take some getting used to.

    Surprisingly, I adjusted to my new female body very quickly. The way it moved and swayed as I walked and the bouncing of my breasts, seemed quite normal. I also had knowledge of feminine hygiene. I knew how to keep my body clean, and even though I hadn’t had one yet, I knew what to do when my period arrived, but that wasn’t a worry right now.

    I also recalled that I had been on birth control for two months, taking the pill was as automatic as brushing my teeth. I knew the rotation of days that I would have to take them and when I would be off them. In my new memories, I remembered a rather open discussion between my sister, mom, and I about sex. While Mom wasn’t telling me to go out and have sex, she acknowledged the fact that women were having sex at a younger age. It had been her decision to do this for my sister and me. To be honest, I was shocked, as I had never thought of my mom being so open-minded.

    I also became aware of health issues that I would have to deal with. I looked at my calendar and saw that I had a full physical scheduled for early October. That wasn’t something I was looking forward to.

Chapter 17

    Jumping ahead to Friday night, I nervously dressed for the game. While I was just wearing jeans and a short-sleeve light blue colored top, I did take special care to make sure my hair and makeup looked great.  I had to find the balance of looking good, but not too good. Yes, I wanted him to notice me, but at the same time I didn’t want look like I was begging for him. This was complicated.

    Bill picked me up in his 1970 Ford Mustang. The body was a work in progress, but it ran really well.

    “You look nice,” he said as we drove to the game.

    “Thanks,” I replied.

    “You know, I always liked you; I didn’t think that you ever noticed me,” he said.

    Bill and I had gone to the same elementary school and also the same junior high; we even had been in a few classes together over the years. While we hadn’t run in the same social groups, we did overlap at times. My new memories told me that I had been aware of Bill and that I liked him.

    “I noticed you,” I said.

    “Cool,” he replied.

    We hung out in what was called “The Pit” at the game. It was a student section where everyone stood the entire game. While we really did pay attention to the game, because our team was terrible it always shifted into a social area.

    As expected, we lost, badly. Actually, I knew that we wouldn’t win a game that year, but I kept that knowledge to myself, no sense in ruining everyone’s hopes for the season.

    After the game we hung out in the parking lot before heading out to the various parties.

    I told myself to stay calm and not to get out of control. Thankfully, I did this.

    The party we went to was basically a combination of loud music, beer, and other things. Even though the drinking age in PA was 21, I had forgotten how easy it was to get beer. The party we went to had a keg, which had been bought by Mark’s older brother.

    I didn’t drink much. I think I wanted to see if Bill was really interested in me as a girlfriend or whether he just wanted someone to have sex with.

    Thankfully, Bill was very cool that night and didn’t try to get me drunk; maybe there was more to this than a one time fling.

    As we drove home, we talked.

    “So, you’re going out with your family tomorrow night?” he asked.

    “Yes,” I replied. I told him about the dinner plans.

    “That’s really nice,” he said. There was a long pause. “Um, do you want to go out again? I mean, we could just go to the movies or something like that.”

    “I’d like that; I’d like it a lot,” I replied.

    “Cool,” he replied.

    He pulled into my driveway and turned off his car. We looked at each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I smiled slightly and nodded.

    Bill then leaned over and kissed me. My whole body tingled as our lips met. His tongue began to slip in my mouth, and I made no effort to stop it. However, our embrace didn’t last long.

    Bill pulled away. “I suspect that your Dad might be watching. I don’t want to piss him off before I even meet him.”

    I laughed. “So, are we going to see each other again?”

    “How about next Friday?” he asked.

    The football team was on the road, and no one, other than family, went to road games; it was bad enough watching them lose at home.

    “I’d like that,” I replied.

    “Cool,” he replied.

    I figured we’d discuss the details later.

    “I’ll call you this weekend,” he said. He then kissed me again.

    He then walked me up to the front door. We kissed one last time, and I went inside and watched him drive away. It then hit me; I had a boyfriend.

Chapter 18

    I looked at the large clock on the living room wall and noted that I wasn’t late, as it was only 11:45. However, Mom and Alice were still up and sitting in the kitchen. It was so obvious that they were waiting up for me that I couldn’t resist.

    “I still have fifteen minutes, can I pro-rate it to next week?” I asked as I joined them.

    “Pro-rate? Wow, you’re getting more sophisticated with your vocabulary,” said Alice.

    My sister and I had the typical brother-sister relationship growing up; we fought a lot, but were also very close. In fact, over the years we had become even closer.    

I had always considered her to be very pretty. Her hair was lighter in color than mine and slightly shorter. I was glad that she was around.

Alice was fifteen months older than me and had been taller than me until one summer when I grew several inches. Unfortunately, as a girl, that growth spurt never happened, and she was now two inches taller than me, and she never let me forget this.

“Hey, little sister,” she greeted me with a grin.

I sat down next to her. “How’s college?”

She shrugged. “So far, so good.”

“I’m going to bed,” said Mom. “Good night.” She then gave us each a kiss and a hug and left the kitchen.

Alice smiled. “So…do you want to talk here or upstairs?”

Crap, was it that obvious? “Um, sure, let’s go upstairs.”

We went up to her room and sat down on the twin-sized bed. Now, back in my old life, the only time I had ever gone into her room was to “borrow” some of her clothes. It felt strange to go in there for a conversation.

“So tell me about him,” she stated.

I told her about Bill.

“He sounds nice,” she said.

“He is,” I replied.

“Just be careful. I know you’re protected, but there are other things to worry about. Guys can be real jerks,” stated Alice.

I just nodded. “We’re going out next Friday.”

She nodded. “So the Knights are going to lose somewhere else next week?’

I nodded. “They’re even worse than last year.”

“I wouldn’t think that was possible,” she said.

“I’m willing to bet they lose every game this year,” I continued.

“Too bad you can’t get someone to take that bet.”

We both laughed. Actually, the reason why the team was so bad was that we’d had a long teacher’s strike two years ago, and many of the better athletes had transferred.

“One thing you should tell him – his exhaust is really loud on his car, even Mom heard it as he pulled in,” said Alice.

“Thanks, I will. So, how do you really like college?” I asked.

“I hate it,” she replied. “I’m thinking of quitting.”

As I had said earlier, Dad wasn’t big on girls going to college. Yes, he was a little old fashioned in his views. The only way he allowed Jeannie to go to college was to go to a nursing school.

“I’m sorry,” I answered.

“I’ll survive. I just know that there’s no way that I’m going to be a nurse. I love my classes, but I wish it was in a subject that was my choosing. So what are you going to do?” she asked.

“I might join the military,” I replied.

“You’re kidding?”

I shook my head. “I can earn college money there, and there are some pretty cool jobs. I mean, I’m a girl; I can’t go into combat.”

I know, I know, this would change, but this was 1977.

“That’s true, have you told Mom and Dad about this?”

“Not yet, I want to get some info first. I’m going down to the recruiting station in Lansdale next week to talk to them,” I said.

Alice nodded. “Just don’t sign anything.”

“I won’t,” I replied.

“So, how does it feel to be eighteen?”

“Not that much different than seventeen…I haven’t snuck over to Jersey yet,” I replied.

We both laughed. The previous Memorial Day, we had gone down to the Jersey shore. Even though most of us were underage, no one got carded.

“You know, I had a really strange dream about you the other night,” said Alice.

“What was it about?” I asked.

“You were a guy,” she said. “I mean, it seemed so real.”

I stared back and wondered if she knew.

“Wow, so was I still your sibling?”

She nodded. ‘You were a pain in the ass little brother…as opposed to a pain in the ass little sister.”

I picked up a pillow and tossed it at her.

“It was so realistic,” she continued. “I almost called you to confirm you were really a girl.”

“When was the dream?”

“The other night…Monday night,” she answered.

The same night that my change occurred; it couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?

“Tell me more,” I asked.

“The weird thing was that even though you were a guy, you wanted to be a girl. I caught you in here taking my clothes,” continued Alice.

“That’s pretty weird,” I said.

“I know, you broke down and cried, telling me that you just wanted to be a girl. I told you to make a wish and maybe it would be answered.”

“Was it?” I asked.

“I don’t know; I woke up before it ended – pretty strange, huh?”

“I’ll say,” I replied.

She looked at the clock. “Well, it’s really late. Good night, little sister.”

As I drifted off to sleep in my bed, I thought about the dream that my sister had told me about. Was there a connection?

Chapter 19

    Now in my old life I had always been a big fan of science fiction, especially stories involving time travel. You know, if you go into the past and change one small thing how all of the future will be changed. Well, things were definitely different. I was now a girl, and there was no way I could repeat my old life. Additionally, I was changing the lives of those around me. I mean, Bill never kissed me when I was a guy.

    I thought about this all morning. I mean, I knew what had happened to my family in the other timeline, could I…or more importantly, should I try to change things?

    First, my dad had health issues that were improperly diagnosed until it was really too late. If I could steer him to a specialist now, could this give him a better and longer life?

    Second, later in her life my sister became a very successful businesswoman, but she did it on her own through hard work. She would quit college in the spring and go from one job to another before working her way to the top. What if she chose this path sooner in her life? I won’t even get into her first marriage and the way her first husband treated her, he was a total idiot. On the other hand, she had a really good second marriage, so what would become of that?

    I also had knowledge of the future that I could use to my advantage. I mean, I could use it to make my family and myself financially secure. I’m not talking just stocks and stuff like that, but I knew the winners of every major sports championship for the next thirty years. I could place bets in Vegas before the season started and make a killing.

    But to be honest, I wished that I hadn’t been left with this information as it only complicated my life. I just wanted to be happy and whole; was this so much to ask for?

    There was something else bothering me. I had lived close to forty-eight years as a guy, and for many of those I wanted to experience life as a woman, including sex. Now I had the body and unfortunately the decades of urges to go along with it. Now that I was dating Bill, I knew that it was within my grasp. Yes, my sense of morality was presently strong enough to hold it off, but for how long?

    I woke up Saturday morning thinking about what it would be like to have sex with Bill. Part of me argued what was the harm? I was on birth control so the chance of getting pregnant was very low. On the other hand, what would happen if I got caught or if Bill told everyone? I didn’t want to be known as a “bad girl” either. So much for everything being perfect if I was a girl!

Chapter 20

    Alice took me the mall to pick out something to wear to dinner.

    “You have such a nice figure, you should wear clothes that show it off,” she explained as we worked our way through the various clothing aisles of one store after another. “Also, you should have some pretty things to wear for your new boyfriend.”

    I just laughed.

    “So when are you going to tell Dad?” she asked. “I would do it sooner than later,”

    “But not tonight, right?” I replied.

    She nodded. “Tomorrow would be better. Of course, you’ll have to introduce Bill to Dad too.”

    “Why? Dad never cared who I dated before?”

    “You last had a ‘boyfriend’ two years ago, little sister. Trust me, Dad will want to meet him,” said Alice. “Oh, this is perfect!”

    She held out a short sleeveless black dress.

    “This is something you really need in your wardrobe,” continued Alice.

    I nodded and took it to the dressing room, along with several other items.

    The dress fit perfectly. Yes, I knew all about the importance of a little black dress in a wardrobe, but I played along. I was really enjoying my time with my sister. Hey, I didn’t even mind the little sister cracks.

    I had the feeling that we would be even closer this time around.

Chapter 21

    I wore the black dress to dinner that night. Both Mom and Dad were very impressed.

    “You look lovely,” stated Mom. “Where’s the camera?”

    It wouldn’t be a family event without photos; it was cool to see how some things hadn’t changed.

    Alice’s boyfriend agreed to take a photo of us.

    Mom commented how happy I looked. I wish I could have told her how long I had waited for a night like this.  I was the person that I had always wanted to be, or at least I was on the right path.

    I had to admit that I loved the way the dress looked on my body, and I also got a kick out of the way men at the restaurant looked at me as we walked in. Thanks to Jeannie’s help with my hair and makeup, I looked like I was in my early twenties and not eighteen. The dress and high heels didn’t hurt.

    I was surprised how easy it was to walk in the three inch heels. Okay, I was enjoying being a flirt, but what girl wouldn’t when she was going out to celebrate her birthday.

    Another nice thing about going to The Tremont was that, as they knew Dad, the staff didn’t question him when he ordered drinks for Alice and I. It was pretty cool getting served a drink in a high-class restaurant.

    To be honest, most of the night was blur, although I remember the beautiful birthday cake that was brought out for dessert. It was definitely the best birthday that I ever had.

    It was much later in the evening, and Alice and I were the only ones still up. I was still too keyed up to sleep.

    We sat on her bed and talked for an hour.

    “Hey, I wanted to give you this for your birthday, but I didn’t think that it would have been appropriate when everyone else was around,” she said as she handed me a small wrapped box.

    I thanked her and opened it up. At first, I didn’t know what to say when I saw what was in the box.

    “This isn’t a joke,” she said. “Look, there are times when you need to get some relief.”

    I lifted the chrome plated vibrator out of the box.

    ‘This is a really nice one…I have one just like it,” continued Alice.

    I was stunned, but tried not to show it. “Um, thanks,” I replied.

    “Hey, we all have urges,” she said with a smile.

    “Did you include batteries?’ I asked.

    “Of course,” she replied. “Unfortunately, they don’t last very long.”

    We both began to giggle, and soon we were laughing uncontrollably. It took all our control not to be too noisy and wake up Mom and Dad.

Chapter 22

    On Monday I got to experience my first time in the girls’ locker-room. Being I still had sexual feelings towards other women; I knew that I had to be on guard. Just undress, change into my bathing suit and head out to the pool.

    Everyone had to wear the same style suit, a dark blue one-piece. Mine fit pretty well, but I have to admit that I felt a little nervous as it was rather form fitting.

    The gym class was aquatic sports. We were broken up into teams to play water polo or inner tube basketball, which consisted of sitting in a tube and paddling towards the hoops. It was a lot of fun, and it made me forget what I was wearing.

    After class, I was getting dressed when I had the strange feelings that someone was watching me. I had just put on my panties and was slipping on my bra when the feeling became very strong. I didn’t want to overreact, so I casually glanced over my shoulder as I buttoned up my blouse. I immediately made eye contact with a girl named Maureen.

    I really didn’t know her that well, in either timeline. She hung out in a different crowd than me, as she was usually seen with the stoners.

Maureen was actually very attractive, although a little on the tough side. She was around the same height as me, although she was a little heavier and slightly muscular. She also had short black hair. She usually dressed in jeans and rock t-shirts and wore very little makeup. I got the impression that she was a bit wild.

    When our eyes met, she winked and ran the tip of her tongue across her lips. It was done so subtly that no one else saw it.

    This caught me totally off guard, which obviously was what she was trying to do. She cast a quick glance up and down my body and then gave me a very slight nod.

    I honestly didn’t know what to do and just turned around and continued dressing. Part of me was very excited, and part of me was terrorized. I didn’t need to be labeled a lesbian, even if I wasn’t the one who instigated it.

    I also wondered why she came on to me; I mean, I had a nice body, but there were plenty of other girls in the locker room who were more attractive.

    I also considered that it had all been my active imagination. I mean, I did like girls, and I might have just misread her.

    As I didn’t have Maureen in any other of classes, I tried to put her out of my mind, at least until my next gym class.

Chapter 23

    Bill walked me to lunch and asked if we were still on for Friday evening. We held hands the whole way.

    “Of course,” I replied.

    “If I’m picking you up at your place, I suppose that your parents will want to meet me,” he said.

    I nodded. I still hadn’t told them about my date.

    “It’s okay, I have three older sisters, so I know the rules,” he continued.

    “So where are we going?’ I asked.

    “How about the movies?” he asked.

    That sounded pretty good, I thought. “Okay,” I replied. ‘That sounds like fun.”

    “Can I give you a ride home from school today?” he asked hopefully.

    I nodded. “I’d like that.”

Chapter 24

    I wasn’t totally surprised that Bill suggested that we stop at his house when we left the school parking lot; in fact, I was sort of hoping he would. I suppose it was all the years I had spent wishing I was a girl, but I really wanted to experience life as a female.

    Both of Bill’s parents worked, so we had the place to ourselves.

    “I need to use your phone,” I said.

    He nodded and smiled when I told Mom that I was studying and wouldn’t be home for a while.

    As soon as I hung up the phone, Bill took me by the hand and led me to the rec-room. I sat down on a couch as he turned on the stereo. He then reached behind the stereo and retrieved a small bag of pot.

    “You want some?” he asked as the music started. It was the latest from Hall and Oates.

    Obviously, Bill remembered that I smoked from the summer party, and I nodded. He smiled back and sat down next to me to roll a joint.

    Okay, I know that this was happening too fast, but I didn’t care; I wanted to be Bill’s girlfriend.

    “My sister gets this from a friend at college,” he said as he lit the joint and passed it to me.

    We listened to the music, talked and smoked the joint. It was just enough to help us both feel mellow. I could tell that Bill was more nervous than I was; which didn’t make sense as boys are expected to be the one who starts things.

    “I’m really glad that we’re going out,” he said.

    “Me too,” I replied, so much for scintillating conversation.

    “Um, do think that we could be…a couple? I mean, I really like you a lot,” he said.

    “I’d like that,” I replied as I took the joint from him. “I’d like to be your girlfriend.”

    Bill smiled and leaned closed. He took the joint back and finished it off. He then leaned over and kissed me.

    It felt wonderful. Chills ran through my body as we embraced and kissed. Now, I had no intention of doing anything further than kissing with Bill…at least at this point of our relationship, so I wasn’t worried about going too far. Oh, I wanted to know what it was like to have sex as a woman, and I really liked Bill, but it was too soon.

    Still, the kissing was pretty good, and we both enjoyed it. I also knew that I was his girlfriend now.

    Later, Bill drove me home, and after a long kiss, I went into my house like nothing had happened.

Chapter 25

    Okay, even though I’ve been sort of focusing on it, my whole life didn’t revolve around sex. I was also preoccupied by my transformation and time shift.

    I wondered how this could have happened and whether it was just some cosmic trick or if someone or something was behind it. I continued to write in my journal about my past or was it my future? This is the kind of thing that can really mess with your mind.

    The fact that I was now a woman meant that the timeline I was in was different from my original one. I know this sound rather simplistic and obvious, but let’s see how you’d do in a similar circumstance.  I mean all my knowledge of time travel was from Star Trek and Stargate.

    So, if this was a different timeline and I used my knowledge of my old future it really wouldn’t be a violation of the space-time continuum, would it? Where was Captain Picard when you needed him?

    What I needed was an event that confirmed that the rest of the world was moving along the same route. I searched my memories for such an event. While I was very good at history, it was difficult remembering events to the exact date. I also had a blockage when it came to some world and national events. Maybe this was done to prevent me from changing the future.

    Then it hit me…sports. The baseball playoffs would be starting soon and I remembered the 1977 National League playoffs very well as I had attended one of the games with Dad. If things repeated themselves, then I would have a better reference point.

    One of the biggest things on my mind was my dad’s health. He had breathing problems and it had been diagnosed as asthma; it would be years until it was properly recognized as chronic bronchitis, and by then the damage was too great. I had always wondered how much easier Dad’s life would have been if it had been properly diagnosed earlier.

    If I could just find something to convince him to see a specialist sooner, he would have a better life. Unfortunately, Al Gore hadn’t invented the Internet yet, so I would have to do it the old fashioned way. So I would search the school and public libraries for information. Maybe, it wouldn’t do any good, but I had to at least try.

Chapter 26

    Even though I was fighting my raging hormones, I took steps to take care of my future. The first thing I did was look into getting a job at the mall, so I would have some money.

The first thing I noticed when I arrived at the mall was that the store that I had worked at during my last life was looking for help; it had been a good job. I’d sold jewelry, engraved things, and cut keys. However, I didn’t apply there, that would have been too strange.

    I ended up applying at both book stores, even though they were part of big chains. I also applied at the music store. The guy who was so impressed that I knew who Bob Marley was took my application and told me that he hoped I got the job.

    The next day, I stopped at the armed forced recruiting office in Lansdale after school.  Just as I remembered, all the services were in the same building. I picked up some info from the navy, the air force, and the coast guard. I had no interest in the others; no offense, but I didn’t want to be a ground-pounder, especially as a woman.

    The recruiter for the navy was the same guy who had been working there my last life. He gave me a lot of information while not so subtly checking me out. I had made the mistake of wearing a rather low cut blouse.

The air force guy was also a bit of a letch. Maybe the military wasn’t such a good idea after all; I had forgotten how sexist it was in its pre-Tailhook days. Still, I took all the info to read. The coast guard recruiter was a woman and thankfully very professional.

    The nice thing of having a strong military background was that I knew the lies and tricks ahead of time. When the navy recruiter told me about certain jobs, I immediately asked him to talk to me about ease of advancement and re-enlistment bonuses.

    He was slightly surprised by my questions and asked me if I had family in the navy. I told him that I had done my research. I was very specific in my questions, and I could tell that this caught him off guard. Okay, I felt a little smug and it probably showed, but the guy deserved it for trying to look down my top.

    I left with a bag full of information. Knowing what I did from my first time through, I wanted a job that was in demand and at the same time would allow me to advance quickly. Being at the bottom of the rung of the military ladder sucked, and I wanted to minimize my time there. This would also help me if I went for a college program.

    I broke the news about my interest in the military to Mom and Dad that evening at dinner. I explained that I was looking at technical jobs and that it would allow me to earn money for college.

    “The military isn’t easy,” said Dad, obviously skeptical at his youngest daughter joining the military. Now, Dad wasn’t liberal by any stretch of the imagination, and I doubted if he had ever voted for a Democrat in his life, but he didn’t think that it was a life for a woman.

    I explained that if I joined the Navy, I wouldn’t be on a ship and that the Air Force was barely in the military. He got a laugh out of that.

    “Dad, I want to go to college, but I don’t want to waste my time by going to 202-U,” I said. “Also, I know that I need to grow up a little.”

    Dad nodded slightly. “If you go in, you’ll be on your own. You can’t just quit if you don’t like it.”

    “I know that, Dad,” I replied. “Anyway, I have time to think about it, and no, I didn’t sign any paperwork.”

     Dad laughed, but Mom didn’t say a thing.

    “Mom, women can’t serve in combat units; besides it’ll be safer than going to college in Philly,” I said.

    “Well, I will support your decision, but I want to talk to your recruiter before you join,” said Dad.

    “Deal,” I replied.

    Dad took a final bite of his dinner and then looked at me. “Anything else you want to talk about?”

    Obviously, Dad knew about Bill, so I told him.

    “I want to meet him,” said Dad. The tone of his voice was very matter of a fact.

    “I knew you would,” I replied. I then told them about my upcoming date Friday evening.

    After dinner, I called up Bill and told him that my dad wanted to meet him.

    “I’ll be by around seven,” said Bill. “The movie doesn’t start until eight.”

    “Cool,” I replied. “Don’t worry, Dad will like you.”

    “I’ll be extra charming; by the way, my parents want to meet you too,” he said. “They want to make sure that I’m dating the ‘right kind’ of girl.”

    We both started laughing.

Chapter 27

    During our next swim class, I picked a different locker in a different part of the locker-room to get changed in. Not surprisingly, Maureen also took a different locker; this one was right next to mine.

    She subtly watched me change into my swimsuit, and I have to admit that it aroused me slightly.  My nipples got slightly hard. Noticing this, I headed quickly to the shower as we had to shower before getting in the pool. Thankfully, I pulled this off without anyone else noticing…other than Maureen.

    After class, Maureen was again watching me out of the corner of her eye. When I started to leave, she handed me a small piece of paper.

    “Call me,” she said as if it was an order.

    I just nodded, hoping no one else saw the exchange.

    I waited until after six to call the number.

    “I knew you’d call,” said Maureen.

    To be honest, I didn’t know how to reply.

    “You’re cute,” continued Maureen. “I can also tell that you have an open mind; am I right?”

    “Un huh,” I replied.

    “Why don’t we get together sometime and talk,” she said. Again, it was more of an order than a suggestion.

    Okay, I’ve always had a bit of submissive side to my sexual nature, and it was obvious that Maureen could detect this.

    “When?” I asked. “I’m busy Friday.”

    She laughed. “No problem, I have a boyfriend too. How about Saturday afternoon? I can meet you at the mall.”

    “What time?” I asked.

    “How about two?” she suggested.

    “Okay,” I replied.

    We agreed to meet at the food court and take it from there.

    As soon as I hung up the phone, I wondered if I had just made a big mistake.

    Back in my old life as a man, I had always been attracted to dominating women, and I had always fantasized about what it it would feel like to be in a dom/sub lesbian relationship. I cringed slightly as I realized that this was about to happen. Part of me wanted it, but there was another part that just wanted a normal life. I thought I had left internal conflicts behind and I was about to find out how wrong I was.

Chapter 28

    I nervously applied my makeup while casting glances at the clock. Bill was due to arrive in less than an hour and I couldn’t remember feeling so nervous in my entire life…or make that lives.

    Okay, Bill was a nice guy and the odds were in my favor that Dad would like him…but there was part of me that wasn’t so sure. To be honest, my first time around I hadn’t paid all that much attention to how Dad reacted to my sister’s boyfriends. There was one that he didn’t like and I had vague memories of him expressing his displeasure.

    As Bill was just taking me to the movies, I was wearing jeans and a short sleeve top. The top was light blue in color and really showed off my breasts.

Actually, I had switched outfits several times before picking the present one. I wanted to look good for Bill…but not too good. I also didn’t want Dad to think that I giving Bill the wrong message. And to think I had figured this would be so easy!

    I gave myself a complete look-over in the mirror and almost changed my outfit again, as the top looked a little too tight and revealing…but then I heard the doorbell. I looked at the clock and saw that Bill was right on time and I rushed downstairs to meet him.

    Mom had already let him in and he was standing in the living room as I came down the stairs. He immediately smiled and I knew that I had picked the right outfit.

     I took Bill downstairs to meet Dad, and thankfully everything went great. It turned out that Dad knew Bill’s father, who was an engineer for the water department.

    After a few minutes of questioning we were on our way to the movies.

    “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked.

    Bill shook his head. “No, I was expecting worse.”

    “Cool,” I replied. “So what movie are we going to see?”

    “Well, there’s not much new out, but I figured we’d head over to that four-plex over in Montgomeryville and see if anything looks good,” he said.

    I nodded in agreement.

    “You look really nice,” said Bill as we drove towards the movie theaters.

    “Thanks,” I replied.

    We checked out the movies and ended up seeing The Kentucky Fried Movie, a very funny early film by the same guys who would eventually do the Airplane movies.  What was really funny was that I had seen the exact same movie when I was a boy.

    Okay, maybe it wasn’t the best movie to go to see on a date, but it made Bill happy. My biggest problem was not giving away the many punch lines

    It was a rather rowdy crowd so we didn’t do anything besides watch the movie…although Bill did put his arm around my shoulder.

    When the movie was done, he asked if I wanted to go over to his place. I looked at my watch and saw that we had plenty of time and I immediately agreed.

Chapter 29

    Bill’s parents were out of town for the weekend and with his sisters all away at college we had the house to ourselves.

    He led me down to the family room and he turned on the TV, although we didn’t really watch anything as we were soon making out.

    As we kissed, I could feel Bill’s hand on my breasts, and even though he was a little tentative and clumsy, it felt very good as he rubbed against my hardening nipples.

    Now, my sexual experiences as a teenage boy were pretty dismal, and the few times that I had made out with a girl had usually ended in failure, but I did know what turned guys on.

    I actually gained most of this experience when I was dressed in fem and I had more sex in my old life as a woman, so I knew what got men off.

    “Here, let me help,” I whispered in between kisses.

    Bill’s eyes met mine and he initially looked confused…until he realized that I was guiding his hands to unbutton my top.

    “It’s okay, Bill,” I moaned.

    With my help, he soon had my blouse off and was soon struggling with my bra.

    A funny though ran through my mind as it hit me that all teenage boys should wear a bra and it wouldn’t be so mysterious to them.

    Bill finally managed to undo the clasp and my bra slipped off.

    He didn’t seem to know what to do, so I guided his hands to my nipples. He was too rough at first was way to fast in the way he rubbed them.

    “Slower,” I whispered.

    I reached down and showed him what I meant.

    “See, gentle feels better,” I cooed.

    He did as I instructed and I was glad to see that he was a fast learner. I rewarded his effort by rubbing his cock through his jeans. I could feel that it was already pretty hard.

    We didn’t go any further that night, but I think I help establish the ground rules, if he was willing to do it by my rules it would be pleasurable for both of us.

    “That was really nice,” he said as he drove me home. “I don’t know how to put this…but you’re different from the other girls. I mean you’re so confident.”

    “And you don’t mind that?” I asked.

    “No…I mean it’s slightly confusing as you seem to take charge…”

    “It’s not a competition, Bill,” I interjected. “Women like pleasure as much as men, so making out should be a mutual experience.”

    He laughed slightly. “I never though of it that way.”

    “Well, if you do, you’ll always have a happy girlfriend.”

    “So…are you my girlfriend?” he asked.

    “Do you really have to ask me that?”

    He shook his head. “I guess not. Sorry, I’m just a little nervous. I’ve never had a real girlfriend before…I don’t know if I’m doing this right.”

    It was my turn to laugh. “Well, I’ve never had a boyfriend before…so let’s just take this one step at a time and see where it goes, okay?”

    We were currently stopped at a stoplight and he leaned over and kissed me on the lips. It felt wonderful.

    We kissed again when we got to my house and part of me really wished that I was older so we could spend the night together…but that would have to wait.

Chapter 30

    The next morning, I talked to Bill on the phone for nearly an hour. He told me that he had to drive over to New Jersey to take some things to one of his sisters. She was an undergrad at Rutgers. He told me that he was spending the night there so I had the day to myself.

    I almost didn’t go to the mall to meet Maureen as I was so happy with Bill, but I gave in.

I headed to the foot court and looked around. She was easy to spot as she was dressed in her usual jeans and black t-shirt. Today’s shirt was a concert T-shirt for Pink Floyd.

    “I was wondering if you were going to show up,” she said as I sat down next to her. “But then again I suspected that you would.”

    “Really?” I said.

    She nodded. “You may look like one of those good girls, but I have a feeling you have a wild side.”

    I didn’t reply.

    “I also like that you wore a skirt,” said Maureen.

    It may have just been me, but that almost sounded like an order.

    She smiled again and ran her fingers through her hair. “I can tell that you’re nervous,” she said softly. “Why don’t we go some where were we can talk?’

    Again, this sounded like an order.

    She stood up and I followed suit. I could feel her dominance growing over me.

    “Where are you parked?’ she asked.

    I told her and she just nodded. “Good, we’ll take your car.”

Chapter 31

    Maureen lived just a few miles away.

    “Don’t worry, we’ll be all alone,” she said. “My Mom is in Philly for the weekend with her boyfriend.”

    I remembered something about her parents being divorced.

    “What about your boyfriend?” I asked.

    She let out a laugh. “I don’t have one. Oh, I like boys…sometimes, but I would never allow myself to get into a relationship with one. I like being in charge too much.”

    I felt another shiver run up my spine.

    There wasn’t much said as we drive to her place. I think she enjoyed the fact that she had so quickly snared me.

    I pulled into her driveway and put the car in park. Her house was on a heavily wooded lot.

    Before I could say a word, she leaned over and kissed me. I was taken off guard by this and I tried to pull away. However, she wasn’t about to let me go so easily. She pressed her lips tightly against mine and I felt her tongue slip into my mouth.

    While Bill had been tentative, Maureen was extremely aggressive and I had to admit a very good kisser.

    She didn’t stop until after I began to return the passion that she was showing. I think she also wanted to show me that she wasn’t afraid of being seen with another girl. I also got the impression that this wasn’t her first time either.

    She pulled away and smiled. “Very nice, Ellen.”

    The confidence that I had shown with Bill had melted away and I totally under her control.

    “Let’s go inside and continue this,” she stated.

    We stepped out of the car and she led me inside.

Chapter 32

    As soon as we stepped inside her house Maureen closed the front door and then immediately pressed me up against it. She positioned my arms up above my head and pressed them against the door. Without a word she began to kiss me again.

    Her tongue was deep inside my mouth as her body pressed tightly against mine. I tried to lower my arms but I quickly discovered that she was much stronger than me.  In fact my struggling only seemed to excite her more.

    Eventually she allowed my arms to be lowered. She stopped kissing me and took me by the hand and led me up the stairs. We entered what must have been her bedroom, and she closed the door behind her.

    I found myself lying on my back on her bed, with Maureen on top of me. She began kissing me again, while at the same time she began to undress me. Where Bill was tentative and somewhat awkward, Maureen expertly removed my top and my bra.

    “Hmm, you have such nice titties, Ellen,” she sighed. “Let me show you mine.”

    Sitting astride me, Maureen removed her t-shirt revealing a black bra. She undid the catch and let her bra fall off exposing her own sizable breasts.

    With a sly smile on her face, she adjusted her position and lowered herself down on top of me.

    “Suck them,” she ordered, as her breasts came down on my face.

    I obeyed and began to lick and then suck her nipples. As I did, she reached down to stroke my nipples.

    “Hmm, you’ve very good at this, Ellen. I’d almost think you’ve done this before,” she moaned. “Hmm, and everyone thinks you’re such a good girl…we’re going to be such good friends…and lovers.”

    I found myself get extremely aroused by her words and could feel myself getting wet between my legs.

    Eventually she tired on this and began to undress me the rest of the way.

    “Hmm, your body is so nice, Ellen; so fit and trim…with such nice titties,” she said as she ran her hands over my body. “Oooh, look how wet your panties are…I knew that we were meant for each other.”

    I began to feel my face get warm.

    “You’re blushing! How cute. Look, Ellen, this is nothing to be ashamed about,” she said as she finished undressing herself. “Now, I’m going to teach you how to eat pussy.”

    I made no effort to resist as she positioned herself on top of me in a sixty-nine position.

    “Now, just do what I do,” she said as she went down on me.

    Without resistance I did as I was told. I had done this a few times back in my old life, but having it done to me at the same time was unbelievable. I had no idea that it could feel so wonderful.

Chapter 33

    Maureen smiled as she looked into my eyes. “Well? Wasn’t that incredible?”

    I could only nod. In spite of the way that Maureen had dominated me, I had to admit that the orgasm she had given me was very enjoyable.

    Without asking me, she lit a joint, took a long drag off it and handed it to me. I willingly took a hit before handing it back to her.

    “Good, I thought you smoked pot. Have you done anything stronger?”

    I shook my head.

    She flashed a wicked grin and handed me back the joint. “You will.”

    I just stared back at her.

    “You’ll love it. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get you addicted or anything like that, but I want to see you totally stoned.”

    I nodded weakly. I knew that I would do anything she told me.

    “Now, just so you don’t worry your cute little head off, I have no intention of letting anyone else at school in on our little secret,” explained Maureen. “However, you are my girl now, do you understand?’

    I nodded again…not knowing what to say.

    “While the weather is warm I want to see you in skirts…short ones,” she continued.

    “Okay,” I replied.

    “When we’re out I may have you go out without panties,” she continued. “Outwardly you can dress like a good girl…but we’ll know the truth, right?”

    I nodded.    

    “Good girl. Oh, you can still date that guy, and you can even fuck him if you want… but you’re all mine,” she continued. “Look, it’s obvious that you like girls as much as I do, so we might as well enjoy each other.”

    “Okay,” I replied weakly.

    “We will go out together, I know places that no one will know us,” she continued. “You will dress very sexy and revealing, no bra, no panties, short skirt, high heels…it will be so much fun.”

    I stared back at her and nodded silently.

    “Oh, we’re going to have fun. I might even take you into the city sometime. I would love to dress you up as my little punk bitch,” she said.

    “I don’t know,” I replied softly.

    “Oh, I could make you so hot,” said Maureen. “Here, let me make you up right now.”

Chapter 34

    I stared at my reflection in the mirror and was shocked. I didn’t recognize myself through the heavy makeup that covered my face. My hair had also been spiked out.

    “See, what I mean, Lexi?” she said.

    “Lexi?” I asked.

    She shrugged. “I’ve always liked it, it will my pet name for you. Oh, just so you know when we go out together you can call me Nikita. It’s my stage name when I sing. I sometimes sing in a band.”

    “Okay, Nikita,” I replied as I continued to look at my new face.

     “Don’t worry my sweet Lexi, when I take you to the club to hear me play no one will recognize you. You can see what I can do in just a few minutes. Wait until I dress you up all the way.”

I shrugged as I thought about it, this might be fun I thought.

“I’ll also dress you more appropriately,” said Maureen. “Speaking of which, we can start right now.”

Maureen got off the bed and pulled open a drawer; she pulled out a pair of black lace panties and tossed them to me.

“These should fit you, Lexi,” she said.

They were low cut and appeared to be too small, but I tried them anyway. To my surprise they fit, although they barely covered my vagina.

Maureen was pleased and nodded in approval. “They look hot. Don’t worry, I’ll get you some that fit better.”

She then leaned over and kissed me. As her tongue pressed deep into my mouth, her hands began to caress my naked body.

“I was going to wait until next time, but I can’t wait,” she whispered.

“What do you mean,” I gasped.

She got up and slipped on a strap on dildo.

“My mom has a rather extensive collection of sex toys and I’ve been dying to use this,” she said.

Chapter 35

As I showered I thought about the fact that I had just been fucked by Maureen…and that I thoroughly loved it. This only made my shame grow.

Yes, I had fantasized about what it would have felt like to have lesbian sex; I had even fantasized about being in a dom/sub relationship…but not as a teenager. 

As I finished dressing and redid my makeup, Maureen watched me like a hawk. She walked me downstairs and then kissed me again before letting me go.

Driving home, I was deeply conflicted. While the sex was wonderful, the relationship between Maureen and I was troubling. I was glad that I had my past life experiences to fall back on as I don’t think a regular teenage girl would have taken what had just happened so well.

Chapter 36

    Everything was happening too fast. I mean, in my previous life, I had a fairly uneventful senior year my first time around and now I was close to being sexually active with my boyfriend Bill and was already very sexually involved with Maureen. I was also drinking more and was using drugs.

    It was, in many ways the exact opposite of my first life. While I loved the fact that I was without a gender conflict in my life, I was bothered by the way my life was going. I remembered how easily secrets were exposed during my first time in high school and I knew it would just be a matter of time until before my relationship with Maureen would become public. I cringed at the backlash that would happen. I hadn’t forgotten how homophobic people were back in the 70’s. My dream life was starting to spiral down into a nightmare.

    I thought about sneaking a drink, but thankfully my parents were home. So to clear my head I went for a walk. There was a touch of fall in the air and I noticed that some of the hardwood trees’ leaves were starting to change color. It had been a long time since I had seen fall. But I was too upset with the way my life was going to enjoy it.

    I thought about how I could change the direction that my life was going, but I couldn’t think of any ways to change it. I was more worried about Maureen than I was Bill as I suspected that she wouldn’t like being rejected. I didn’t know if I could resist her either, which was very frightening.

    What she had said about making me over as her punk girlfriend was appealing, even though it also scared me. I could close my eyes and picture myself dressed up as her lover.

    I knew that I was making a mistake, yet I couldn’t pull away, it was so frustrating. I was also upset that I was screwing up my second chance.

    Our street ended at the grounds of a junior high school. It was located on a large piece of property and it was a popular place to walk.  I could see people jogging and others walking their dogs. I didn’t want to be around people and so I walked in the opposite direction.

    I was so last in my thoughts that I didn’t notice that someone was walking towards me.

    “Eddie, we need to talk.”

    I stopped in my tracks and turned around to see an attractive woman standing behind me. She looked to be in her late forties, although she obviously kept herself in great shape.

    She had short dark brown hair and was dressed in jeans, boots, and a green sweater. Her short hairstyle seemed strange, and then it hit me that she looked like someone in 2008.

    “Excuse me?” I asked. There was no one else close to us and it was obvious that she had been talking to me. I was confused that she had said my old name…a name that didn’t exist in this world.

    “Eddie, I’m very disappointed with how you’ve used this gift I’ve given you,” she continued.

    I stared back in shock, not knowing how to respond.

    “My name is Beth-Ann Spellman and we talked on the phone a few weeks ago,” she said. “I talked to you about your high school reunion.”

    She then described my old life in great detail just to prove that she was telling me the truth.

    “This…this isn’t possible,” I stammered.

    She sighed. “Well, I suppose this is as much my fault as it is yours. I keep forgetting how disorienting the time shift can be for those who aren’t expecting it,” she said.

    “You mean…you’re responsible for me….me being a girl?” I replied.

    Beth-Ann nodded. “I sensed your conflict and I tried to correct it…unfortunately I picked the wrong year to bring you back. It’s been so long that I was a teen that I forgot how overwhelming the sexual drive can be.”

    “What do you mean…I mean you don’t look…”

    She raised her right hand. “Please don’t say it. First off, I have an active sexual life…and enjoy it…and second, I’m a bit older than I look.”

    “What do you mean? How old are you?” I asked.

    “If you must know, I’ll be eight-hundred and thirty-seven in human years next month,” she replied in a matter of the fact manner. “Of course I’m using 1977 as a reference point. Age is just a relative thing.”

    “What?” I replied.

    “I was born in 1140 BCE in a small village located a few miles from present day Hamburg,” she continued. “Obviously I’ve lost my original accent.”

    I stepped back slightly. “What are you?”

    “A friend,” she replied as she smiled. “But to answer your question more exactly, I am a sorceress.”

    For some reason that made sense to me. “Okay, but why do this to me?”

    “I came across you in 2008 and sensed your pain and decided to help you. Are you happy as a woman?”

    I nodded immediately. “I love being a girl…but…but I don’t like what I’m becoming.”

    “That’s good to hear. Sometimes I run into those who love their new life…with all the flaws. The time shift can lower a person’s guard so that they are highly susceptible to the urges of others.”

    “So…why are you here…I mean this time?”

    “I came back to see how you were doing and have seen how fast things can get out of control,” she replied. “I can see that you’re very conflicted by the way your life is going.”

    I let out a nervous laugh. “That’s an understatement.”

    “It’s only going to get worse, my dear. The path you are on is going to lead you to a life filled with problems,” she said.

    “Like what,” I asked with trepidation.

    “Drug addiction, several arrests, and an unwanted pregnancy to start off with,” she said as she counted them off. “Oh, and that’s all before you’re twenty-one, things go down hill from there.”

    “Shit. How can it get worse?” I asked as I fought back tears. This was turning into a living nightmare.

    “Are you sure you want to know?” she asked.

    I wiped away a tear as I nodded.

    “Brace yourself, Elle. You’re lifestyle will drive you away from your family. You will have nothing to do with them,” she continued.

    “No!” I shouted. The idea of losing my family filled me with fear. I felt weak in the knees and it was all I could do to keep from falling down. “No! This isn’t worth it then! This needs to stop!”

    She smiled softly at me and for some reason I felt immediately at ease. “I have a solution, dear” she said.

    “What do you mean?” I asked as I wiped away another tear.

    “I can…change things,” she said.

    “Change things? Does that I have to go back to being a…guy?” I asked. 

    She smiled at me. “No, I wouldn’t do that to you, Elle. I have another proposal, but it will involve another major change in your life.”

    I stared back at her. “What are you talking about? If it means giving up my family I don’t want it either…I’ll enter a convent first.”

    “No dear, it doesn’t mean that you will lose your family,” she replied. “Oh, and to enter a convent you have to Catholic.”

    “And I will stay a girl?” I asked as I smiled slightly.

    Beth-Ann nodded. “I would never change you back into a conflicted person. The mind contains your true essence; the outer body is just a shell. I tried to make you whole, but I now I realize that my mistake was not taking you back far enough.”

    I stared at her as I absorbed the meaning of her words.

    “Yes, Elle, I can make your life truly whole, but it will require another trip back in time,” she said. “I need to take you back far enough to allow you time to adjust to your true gender.”

    “Um, how far this time? I don’t want to be a baby again,” I said.

    Beth-Ann laughed. “No, I wouldn’t do that to you. I was thinking of something less drastic.”

    She then told me her plan. I had to admit that what she was proposing made sense.

    “How much of my old life…lives will I remember?” I asked.

    “Just like before,” she replied. “You will initially remember a great deal, but as you adjust to your new age your memories will fade.”

    I could live with that as it would give me real fresh start and allow me to live my life the way it should have been in the first time around.

    “Can I ask you a few questions?” I asked.

    She nodded.

    “Why didn’t you ask my permission the first time you changed me?” I asked.

    “We don’t like to make ourselves known to mortals. However, you were hurting and needed a chance to be whole. I was hoping that you would adjust and be happy in your life…I just made the mistake of forgetting about the emotions and bodily urges. They are a part of you as much as your gender identity; I forgot that you would need time to adjust.”

    “So I’ll always be bisexual?” I asked.

    She nodded. “It’s part of your essence.”

    “I can accept that,” I replied. “Okay, what will happen to…to the people here after I leave?”

    She smiled again at me. “You see time as only flowing one way. The events that have happened can be changed and no one will be the wiser. These events will drift away like shadows. Does that make sense?”

    I shrugged my shoulders. “As much as any of this.”

    “So what do you want to do?” she asked.

    “When can we start?” I asked.

    “Tonight,” she replied. “If that’s what you want.”

    “It is,” I replied.

    “You don’t want to think it over?” she asked.

    I shook my head. “I don’t like what I’m becoming and I definitely don’t want to become what you described.”

    “Very well,” she said. She then leaned over and gave me a hug. “You have a good soul, Ellen.”

    We parted ways and I headed home, thinking about what she had told me.

    Yeah, I know, it sounded crazy, but considering what had happened in the past few weeks, it only made sense. I wasn’t prepared to be an eighteen-year-old girl. I needed time to adjust and Beth-Ann’s offer was the only way.

    I went to bed early that night and as I drifted off to sleep I wondered what would await me when I woke up and hoping that I wouldn’t mess it up this time.

Chapter 37

“Honey, wakeup!” called out Mom. 

I slowly woke up. I felt as if I was coming out of hibernation.

“Ellen, are you awake?” she asked. “I know this is the last day of summer vacation, but you can’t sleep in all day.”

“Yes, Mom,” I replied. I immediately sat up in bed. My voice was different. I looked around my room and saw that it had changed too.

I jumped out of bed and stared at my reflection. Beth-Ann had kept her word. I was now a pre-teen girl. I looked around my room and saw the Peanuts calendar that was hanging next to my dresser. The days had been crossed off and it was apparently now Wednesday September 8th, 1971.

My mind was awash in new memories. I was eleven and tomorrow I would start the sixth grade.

I looked at my reflection and liked what I saw. I would now have time to adjust to my new gender and new age and well….everything else that went with it, but now I had the time to do it. Beth-Ann had given me another chance and I wouldn’t mess this one up.

Chapter 38

I spend as much free time that day writing down my memories of my past lives. Some of the things I wrote down didn’t make sense to me. What the heck was an iPod and what did it mean? But something told me it was important.

I was a lot better at remembering dates and events. I listed all the presidents up until 2004 and some important world events. Some events were very foggy and others remained clear. Maybe I could use this knowledge for the good of society.

I was also able to recall the winning teams for both the Super Bowl and the World Series up until 2007. I wasn’t sure what I would do with such information, but maybe I could put it to good use. I might even use it to earn money for college.

Thankfully I also retained a higher reading level, which would come in handy in school. I loved reading and really didn’t want to read books for a sixth grader. But more importantly I was determined to get the best grades possible so that I could go to college. Yeah, I knew that I was only in sixth grade, but I wanted to establish my good study habits now. I wanted nothing to hold me back, and if I got a full scholarship then I wouldn’t have to worry about my parents paying for it.

But more importantly I still had my family and I would grow up this time without the conflict that had raged for all my previous life. I also knew how to avoid the problems that had occurred in my second life.

The next day I started sixth grade. I saw several old friends in the class; include Bill, Judy and Gina. Thankfully Maureen wasn’t there. I had some vague memories that she had attended another elementary school. I was also ecstatic to see my new teacher; Miss Spellman.

She later pulled me aside and spoke to me.

“Elle, I’ve decided to spend the year here and see that you adjust. Is that okay with you?”

I smiled back. “Yes, Miss Spellman. I’m very happy that you’re here.”

“I’m glad to here that, Elle. I think that this time we can do this the right way.”

The End