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MAU- Could I have this Dance? Part One

Synopsis- Linda McGee through her use of sweet talk, persuades her husband Army Captain Jack McGee to become a double of her favorite soap star. 

For the second time, I'm dedicating a story to my wife Leonita, who loves me in spite of my many flaws. (Like my writing 85,000 words in two weeks while at the same time ignoring household chores that need to be done). Her patience is remarkable and she is also my consultant on all things female when I write these stories. I am a very lucky man to have a wife like her.

Note- I've made modifications to this lengthy story in response to legitimate criticsm it received back when it was first published at Fictionmania. It's still flawed, but John in Wauwatosa likes it.

This is a spin-off from my MAU- Collisions story. It isn't necessary to read Collisions to understand the following.

*****

It was a busy July afternoon for me and I decided to take a breather from housework. My children were outside playing and I had little interest in watching television. So I turned on my home computer. After it warmed up I began playing some solitaire.

Solitaire soon became boring. So I stopped playing this and instead stared at the computer screen for a few moments. I then clicked on the Microsoft Word icon on my PC's desktop screen. The program started up immediately.

After this was done, I went to the file menu. I clicked on it and a long series of files appeared on the screen. The one I was looking for was titled Diary. I clicked on this and the file immediately opened. As I looked at the screen memories of the last seven years flooded into my mind. It all began one late summer day in a town called Tongduchon in South Korea.

October 30, 1997

Okay where do I start? I have never kept a personal log at any time in my life but it has been recommended to me by the doctor now caring for me. Somehow this is to help me with my healing or adjustment process. I remain skeptical if this will ever truly help but what harm is there. So maybe I should start at the beginning.

My name is Jack McGee, but I'll have to be choosing another name soon. I'm thirty-two years old and married to my wife Linda. She is twenty-eight. We have two children, Brittney and Adam. They are ages five and two respectively.

Till just recently we were living in Tongduchon South Korea. See I'm a US Army Captain. Maybe I should say was an Army Captain. Like my name Jack McGee it appears destined for the trash heap. Not that I have any real choice in the matter.

Let us back up further, I was born March 3rd, 1965 and spent my youth growing up just outside Rapid City South Dakota. From an early age I had always wanted to be a Army soldier, maybe even an officer. I studied hard and did well at sports particularly basketball and football. In the end I was successful in getting an appointment to West Point. I was a graduate of that military academy's class of 1987.

After being commissioned I went into the engineers. This was natural for I had studied mathematics at the military academy. My training took place at Ft. Lewis in Washington and after finishing this I got assigned to the Tenth Mountain Division at Ft. Drum outside Watertown New York.

It was September of 1989 that I met my wife Linda. Her name was Linda Thomas then and we met at the New York State Fair in Syracuse. My now wife was an Art student at Syracuse University.

Linda is an attractive if chubby redhead with pretty green eyes. Anyway we dated for another year. In August of 1990 Saddam Hussein ordered Iraqi troops into Kuwait. Soon the United Nations issued a ultimatum to Saddam to either withdraw or face the consequences. What would be called Operation Desert Storm or The Gulf War was set in motion.

My unit was due to ship out in October of 1990. Just days before departing I asked Linda to marry me. She accepted and on June 23rd 1991 we were married in the base chapel at Ft. Drum.

Not long after we married, Linda and I PCSd to Germany. In Germany our daughter Brittney was born in June of 1992. My next posting was to Ft. Lewis in 1994. In November of 1994 my son Adam was born.

The first step to the event that altered my life occurred in late 1996. I received my next set of orders. They were to the South Korea or the US 2nd Division in the ROK. In January of 1997 I left for my one year tour. Just before my departure I learned my follow-on orders had me going to Ft. Sill in Oklahoma.

Assignments to South Korea for military personnel are called hardship tours. Why? Because the Army doesn't pay for one's family to move along with the military member. The Korean War had never officially ended, only an armistice having been agreed to. Technically a state of war still existed. This and with only limited housing available for families, meant that most service members did their tours in the ROK unaccompanied. That is unless one was command sponsored or the service member's family paid their own way.

My family was one of the latter. One month after reporting to Camp Casey, Linda and the children moved into an apartment in Tongduchon. My wife Linda had once lived in South Korea as a child. She even spoke the language though admittedly Linda was a bit rusty from lack of using it. Linda was very excited for my tour and hoped the children would enjoy the experience too. I had no objection; after all I'd have my family nearby while I did my tour.

I spent much of my tour in the field with my unit but got home a few times a month for two to three days at a time. At the same time Linda was getting re-acquainted with a country she loved plus Adam and Brittney genuinely liked it there.

All went well that is till September 19th of this year. Maybe I better explain more. The conversations I describe next come from my memory. They may not be 100% accurate but I think it will give the right impression of the last six weeks.

My unit had just spent five days in the field along the DMZ between North and South Korea ending on the morning of September 19th. When it was over I was filthy dirty from all my work and I therefore returned to my quarters in Officer country at Camp Casey. There I showered, freshened up and then changed into civilian clothes before leaving for my apartment in Tongduchon. I'd have three days with my wife and children before having to be back at the base.

I didn't step inside the apartment till about 1230. "Honey, I'm home."

Once inside the apartment you had to climb three steps. By the time I got to top of the stairs, Linda was there. We warmly embraced each other and began to kiss.

"I missed you so much." Linda whispered in my ear.

"Missed you too."

Linda and I spent about an hour talking in our apartment's small dining area as we ate lunch together. We caught up on what had been going on over the last few days in each other's lives. This was when I learned Adam and Brittney had gone on a field trip and wouldn't be home till that night.

That meant Linda and I had privacy. Sex was definitely on both our minds. While Linda finished cleaning up after lunch, I went to the bedroom.

That's when I saw it. That cursed phone booth or box. It looked like a phone booth, that's the first thing that entered my mind on seeing it. I wondered what it was doing in the bedroom and how it had gotten there.

I was just beginning to look at the control panel next to the door when Linda entered the room. My wife's perfume was a dead giveaway that she was now in the room.

"Honey, what the hell is this?"

Linda came over and we began to kiss. "Oh just something Brittany and Adam found. Let's forget about that and have some fun."

We did just that, my wife and I having sexual intercourse together. I began to ride Linda and make love to her.

Just before my penis burst I yelled. "Fire in the hole."

That was a little custom Linda and I had since getting married. 'Fire in the hole' is an expression used by people who use explosives, something I did while in the US Army. Looking back now, I think my wife had grown tired of the expression.

Feeling spent from my exertions, I rolled onto the bed and laid flat on my back. Linda immediately cozied up to me.

"You like it?" I asked.

"hmm..." Linda said with a purr.

Our lovemaking now finished, my attention soon returned to the box. "So where did that thing come from and how did it get in here?"

"Adam and Brittney found it," Linda explained to me. "They brought it inside last Monday."

"Isn't it kind of big for them?" I asked. This machine was certainly too big for two adults alone children. Then I remembered the home's front door. How could this box have gotten in?

"Yes it is but it wasn't like that when Brittany and Adam found it," Linda began to tell me as we still hugged one another in bed. "Let me explain."

My wife then told me of Adam and Brittney's discovery and how they had carried the box into the bedroom. At the time it was small maybe a foot long by a foot wide. Somehow the children had made the box open up.

"You weren't in the room when this happened?"

"No. I was busy."

From the time of the day it had happened I had a guess at what was keeping Linda busy. It had to be her daytime soap opera watching.

"You won't believe what the children did next?"

"What happened?"

"Brittney turned Adam into a puppy dog with that machine."

I just stared at Linda as we lay in bed.

"You don't believe me?"

I definitely didn't believe Linda. "Linda stop the joking. Nothing can do that to a person or a child."

"It really can. Why don't I show you."

I decided to humor my wife. "Sure do that."

We both got out of bed and went over to the machine or box. Inside the box there was some kind of control panel. It was a tight squeeze but Linda and I both stepped inside.

"See if I touch here," Laid told me pointing to the panel. "While thinking of an image, let us say Brittney. That image will come up."

"Ok."

"After doing that if I touch this ruby crystal, the door closes and a change is made to the person inside the box to whatever image was showing on the panel."

I still didn't believe my wife but went along. "You want to demonstrate this for me."

"Sure, but you better step outside first." Linda told me and I complied. A few moments later the door to the box vanished and then re-appeared.

Linda re-emerged from the box. I was now looking at an exact double of myself.

"Holy shit." I replied as I shook my head. "This is..."

"Incredible? I told you it works." My wife said in a voice the same as my own.

"You can change back, right?" I asked. It was getting a little unnerving looking at my wife turned double.

"Sure. Be right back." Linda then stepped back in the machine. The same process repeating as before. The door disappearing and then reappearing. I was very glad to see my wife re-emerge from the machine.

"This is incredible." I said.

Linda grinned at me. "Yes it is. Imagine what someone can do with this."

"A lot I'm sure."

Linda didn't speak up right away as I took a peek in the box but at the same time being careful not to touch the panel. "You want to give it a try?"

"Me? What would I want to do with this?"

Right then and there I should have backed away from the machine. Who knew where it came from or what dangers there were in using it? Instead curiosity had set in for me. This was an experience like nothing I'd ever encountered.

"Anything you want." Linda told me.

"It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"No, not at all."

I looked at the panel. Right then I was afraid and that was a very odd feeling for me. I was after all an Army officer. I had served in the Gulf War. Even seeing combat while I was there. Now for some reason I was afraid.

"Do you want to give it a try?" My wife asked.

I was still hesitating. There was also an obvious problem. "What do I become?"

"Let me choose for you." Linda told me and I went along with her. That was both my first and biggest mistake. The saying about the road to hell being paved with good intentions is very true in my story.

Linda went in the machine as I waited patiently. Then my wife re-emerged. "Just go inside and touch the ruby crystal. That's all you have to do."

"Is it painful?"

Linda shook her head in disgust. "No."

I went inside the booth. The control panel was there, so was the ruby crystal. The image that my wife brought up was familiar but I didn't place it at first. I then glanced back at Linda. She said again to touch the ruby crystal.

Then I reached out with my right hand. Just before taking hold of the crystal, I closed my eyes.

A few moments later I walked out of the machine. The first thing I noticed was the big grin on my wife's face. Maybe the grin was too big.

"See it works." Linda said to me. She wasn't speaking in English but Korean and some how I was able to understand her.

"Yes it does." I spoke back in Korean also. Accented Korean, like I was a native speaker of the language. Till that day I knew only a few words or phrases of the language. All of those being gleamed through my work in the field with Korean troops.

Understanding and being able to speak Korean was nothing compared to the physical changes that machine had done to me. Looking down I could see two round orbs hanging from my chest.

I had breasts. I was a woman. A naked woman. A naked Korean woman. That was the image on the control panel that my wife had brought up.

"Why don't you take a better look." Linda told me still wearing that stupid grin. I didn't think anything about it then or the fact she was nervously licking her lips.

Taking Linda's advice, I walked over to the nearby bedroom mirror. I had to see the full extent of what the machine had done to me. One glance at my reflection left me in awe of the box's powers.

I mean a minute or so before I was a 6'1 man. A little on the husky side at 210 or 215 pounds but it was muscle not fat. My waist was thirty-six inches and my feet a size ten. My hair was blonde, and army regulation length. My eyes had been a rayish blue.

That wasn't me anymore. In front of the mirror was a Korean woman standing 5'5 give or take an inch with a thin but not skeleton like figure. She or rather I had to weigh somewhere in the vicinity of 125 pounds.

There was more, a lot more to be truthful. Not one inch of the woman the machine had changed me into bore a resemblance to my male self. From the bottom and my size six feet with polished toenails, to my head with its mane of black hair that fell halfway down my back.

I then noticed something else. "There is no hair down there."

"Uh..."Linda began saying while remaining innocent looking. "I must have left it out or forgotten it. I don't have any either."

Looking over at my wife I noticed her pubic hair was missing now too. Anyway it was no big deal as I looked at my reflection again. "Ok."

Back to the reflection I studied. From head to toe my skin was lightly tanned. My derriere was no longer flat but had the curve that all women possessed. Nothing about my face was the same, it was now oval and I had full lips. Inside my mouth were a set of very white teeth. My eyes were of a very darkshade of brown and very almond shaped or Asian in appearance.

During my time in the ROK I had seen plenty of women but most didn't have eyes like these. The bloodline of the woman I become had to be totally Korean or Chinese.

Last but not least were the two breasts hanging from my chest. Two medium sized orbs with pencil eraser like tits. I'd learn later my bra size was 34b, my waist twenty-five inches, my height 5'5 and my weight 124 pounds.

This was so unreal as I looked at myself. How could any machine do this to someone or something? There was no man made technology that could do this, I knew this since I was an engineer. So the machine had to be from outer space.

My plan was to only spend a minute like this to prove or disprove what Linda had told me. By now it had to have been more like five minutes since my change. Almost all of which I spent by the mirror with my wife not standing very far away.

"This is incredible." I said speaking in still accented English. Then I tried clearing my throat and then pronouncing my words again. It didn't work. "This is incredible."

"You'll get no argument from me." Linda told me. She was slowly inching closer to me from behind and still wore that grin on her face.

"I am a woman. Completely!" I said as I turned sideways so as to get a better look at my back and derriere.

"Yes you are." Linda said as she nervously licked her lips again.

I had seen enough and decided it was time to get my male body back. But before I got my chance, Linda came up behind me and cupped my breasts with her hands.

"What are you doing?" I asked. Linda's actions had caused goose bumps to form across the length of my torso.

"You got nice breasts." Linda told me before kissing me on the ear. What had gotten into my wife?

"Yeah I do," I said as I turned around to face Linda. "But I got to get changed back."

Linda didn't give me a chance to walk back to the machine. She immediately took me into her arms and began to kiss me. At first I fought this episode of lesbianism from my wife but then relented. Kissing a woman as a woman was no different than it had been as a man.

Kissing wasn't all that my wife was doing. Her hands were groping me in some very unusual places, my buttocks for one. Plus she was going out of her way to rub our breasts against one another.

Finally I pulled away from Linda. "Honey, what has gotten into you?"

Linda was licking her lips nervously again as she stared at me. "I just find you so...irresistible."

"Irresistible?" I asked in disbelief. "But I'm a woman right now."

"Yes I know." Linda said with a very sly grin as she slowly inched her way closer to me. I began backing away myself. If not for being a naked female, I may have run from the apartment. Something was very wrong right then. Had this confounded machine done something to my wife?

"Linda, this isn't right."

"What isn't right? We're husband and wife."

I continued to inch away from Linda but I was running out of room in the small bedroom and my wife was between me and the door. There was another option available, to vault across the bed and towards the machine. That was looking now to be my only recourse unless Linda backed off.

"Yes but we're both women right now," I said trying to put some sense into my wife's head. "This is hmmm...."

"Gay?"

"Yes Gay! Or lesbian whatever you call it. It's wrong and it's even a sin!"

My time was fast running out to vault across the bed. I was almost backed into a corner. Linda was still approaching me. "Yes I guess so. We can go to confession afterwards if you want. The priest will forgive us."

Linda and I were both Catholic and she may have been right about the priest. This was beside the point. "Honey you aren't a lesbian. Are you?"

"No sweetheart, I am not. I just want to know how it feels. One time in my life."

"You've never done this before?"

"No sweetheart I haven't," Linda said with a shy smile while crossing her heart. "I've always been faithful to you since when we got married. And no I never was with a woman before we met."

I was out of room now. Linda had stopped advancing but she still looked at me with lust in her eyes. Then something clicked in my head. "You made me into a double of that actress, what's her name? The one on that soap you watch."

"You mean Song Lee Oh."

"Whatever. I mean I'm a double of her."

"Yes you are," Linda said as she licked her lips again. "A very beautiful and if I don't say so, delicious looking one also."

I still hadn't a clue as to what had gotten into Linda's head. She had made me her lesbian sex fantasy.

"Sweetheart," Linda said in a soft tone of voice to me. "I'd just like to learn how it is."

"With a woman."

"Yes with a woman," Linda told me. Then she surprised me by backing away a little bit. "I'd like to feel how it is to love a woman and be loved by one. Can't you just indulge me today one time? While the children aren't home."

"Honey this isn't..."

"Sweetheart just this once," Linda said to me again in a soft seductive voice. Then she frowned at me. "Ok Jack I'm not going to force you. Go back to the machine and change back if you want."

I walked away from the corner. "Linda please try to understand."

Right then I could see tears well up in my wife's eyes. We had been married six years and we seldom fought. I hated seeing her cry. "I just wanted us to have some fun. This is just so unique a chance for us."

I walked over to my wife and gave her a hug. "Sweetheart I don't want you to cry. Please."

By now Linda was crying. "All I wanted to do was have some fun."

"I know. I am sorry for getting angry at you, forgive me."

"Can't we just do it this one time?"

I looked at my wife and then at myself. After thinking for half a minute I gave my wife an answer. "Ok I'll do it but I have some conditions."

Linda's face immediately lit up as her crying stopped. "Go ahead."

"Today will be the only time."

"No problem."

"We do it like we are now. I don't want to be with a guy. I mean just as two women."

"Absolutely no problem." Linda said her excitement growing with every second.

"When we are done today, we do something about this machine. Break it up, take it apart. I want it out of here," I explained to my wife. "This thing could be dangerous and I don't want Brittney or Adam using it."

Linda nodded her head. "Absolutely. I agree to everything you say."

"Ok." I said. Linda was getting real close to me again. I then started making my way towards her. Maybe this really would be fun. At least that's what I thought that afternoon.

"I am really looking forward to this." Linda told me as she leaned forward to kiss me. But I met her lips first and I took her in my arms and our tongues began to twirl in each other's mouth.

While this was going on, Linda's right hand went to work. Not satisfied with just groping my buttocks, my wife now turned to my thigh areas and gently began to rub there. Boy did I start to get turned on at this point. I felt extremely moist in the area that had to be my vagina.

Linda and I literally fell into bed. There we continued to kiss and fondle or rub one another. I was by now using my hand to rub my wife's private parts. If her heavy breathing was any indication, Linda was enjoying our sex.

I was enjoying this session tremendously too. Then I thought how I would have to confess this all to a priest some time. The next time I came up for air, I began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Linda asked sounding as if she was slightly annoyed by my interruption.

"I was thinking about the next time I go to confession. It's going to be a very interesting talk with who ever the priest is."

Linda almost growled at me in her reply. "You haven't been to confession in years so drop it. Let's fuck."

That's when Linda changed positions in bed. At first I didn't know what she was up to, but I finally figured it out. She motioned for me to lay flat on my back with my legs spread wide. I did that while my wife climbed over the top of me but in the reverse position of myself. Her legs spreading wide as her crotch lay almost directly in my face.

I'd later on find out this was what lesbians called the sixty nine position. With no pubic hair now, I got a clear view of both my wife's cervix and vulva. This was the first time I had ever seen a woman's genitalia other than her breasts. I had never seen them even in a picture before that day.

I was wondering what to do next when I felt something weird for a second in the area of my own female privates. It was ticklish and had caused me to flinch. A moment later the feeling was back. Still ticklish but this time my body was more relaxed.

Then it happened a third time. Now I knew what Linda was doing. She was licking my own genitalia. Right then I felt a little tug on my hair, Linda was pulling it.

I think she was telling me to lick her. I could have asked but Linda had already shown a little annoyance with my priest comment. Why did I let myself get talked into this? Why don't I just get out of bed and dart back in the machine and change back?

Linda then licked me again. Every lick was a little longer than the last. The thing was, I was getting very aroused right then.

I began to move my face and mouth closer to my wife's crotch. The sight was ok, but the smell. Well the best description was it smelled like a person's crotch. The aroma was not very appetizing to be honest.

Then Linda licked me again. Really slow and my arousal went up another notch. Then I felt another pull on my hair.

"Come on." Linda said to me.

"Ok." I said as I caved in to my wife's carnal advances. Doing what Linda wanted, I unleashed my tongue from my mouth and licked my wife's genitalia. My wife's crotch tasted little better than it smelled.

Despite this I began enthusiastically licking my wife. Partly because I was getting aroused with every lick from Linda. Partly because I wanted to please my wife also. Lesbian sex really could be a lot of fun.

I licked slowly, I licked fast. I licked straight and long and I licked in circles. The clitoris, a woman's most sensitive part was what I concentrated my licks on. I also licked the labia or entrance to Linda's vagina. All while doing so I could feel my wife getting more and more excited.

Then I began teasing Linda's clitoris with the tip of my tongue. This drove her wild, at first causing her back to flinch as my wife's breathing began getting heavier and labored with each lick. I went back to longer licks but Linda virtually screamed at me.

"Go back to what you were just doing!" She said between moans and I complied. Linda wasn't even licking me any more by now. My lovemaking had taken over and I wasn't minding at all.

More tongue teasings had the desired affect in about a minute's time. Linda's body flinched and then her back arched. Her breathing at the same time becoming deeper and then suddenly tapering off. I didn't ask, but I was certain my wife had reached orgasm.

I took a temporary breather then as Linda re-composed herself. This may have been a mistake, for I was very aroused. Right then I decided to change methods. I wanted to love my wife but concentrate on something much more appetizing.

So I turned myself around in bed and lay cross wise with my legs dangling off the bed. Then Linda spoke up. "You're so good, thank you."

"You're welcome. I am glad you liked it."

Linda giggled. "Like is not a strong enough word. What are you doing now?"

"You'll see." I told my wife with a sly grin.

The part of Linda's body I was now focused on was her breasts. These were no tiny orbs, but big or monstrous creatures. This was due to my wife Linda being a big or chubby woman. I loved Linda; her size was never an issue in our relationship.

I put my face right up against Linda's breasts. Then I licked Linda's nipple. It hardened immediately as it became covered in goose bumps. I licked again and again.

"Don't stop." Linda told me as her breathing began to get heavier again.

"I have no plans to." I licked a few more times. This was so much better than licking down at my wife's crotch or labia/clitoris area. My licking was even causing me to get aroused again.

Then I changed tactics. I took the nipple of Linda's left breast into my mouth and began to suck it. At the same time I lowered my left hand down and began to probe between my wife's thighs.

Linda was beginning to moan again now. I continued to suck, alternating between the left and right nipples of my wife. While I did so Linda ran one hand either through my hair or used it to gently stroke my back.

"You're so good. So very very good." Linda told me as I continued to suck. A few moments later my wife reached climax or orgasm for the second time. I on the other hand was still waiting for my first.

Thinking Linda to be satisfied with my exertions, I again lay myself on the bed right next to my wife. Both of us now under the bed sheets As soon as I was settled, Linda cuddled close to me.

"You were fantastic. Thank you." Linda told me.

"You're welcome and I am glad you liked it." I told my wife as we began to exchange short kisses. Right then I felt happy that I had satisfied Linda's curiosity. It had been fun making love as two women.

Linda then peeked under the sheets and began to giggle. "I like your breasts. They are so nice."

Then Linda cupped them like she had earlier this afternoon. She began rubbing my nipples and then Linda suddenly pinched my left nipple. I immediately swooned as I felt this incredible ecstasy from head to toe.

Linda and I then both ducked under the sheets as we both laughed uncontrollably. Both of us kissing and fondling the other.

I was going to begin sucking on Linda's breasts again when she told me not to. "You've made love to me twice. Let me return the favor now."

"Yes, anything you want dear." I giggled. Linda then re-positioned herself in bed while we both remained beneath the sheets. We were back in the 69 position again, but I just laid there and let Linda do me. She began to lick me again.

Just as Linda McGee began licking her transformed husband, a message began to flash on the screen of the alien box in the corner of the bedroom. It was in Fwirthian and translated to the following in English-

We are sorry, but your four-day evaluation license has expired. To continue using the Mark 5 Morphic Adaptation Unit, please remit 52,495 Fwirthi Rakburs to the Gemalfi Corporation within eight Febulons. Thank you for trying the Mark 5 Morphic Adaptation Unit.

The alarm clock next to the bed said 4:32 as I began to wake up. We were so worn out from our lovemaking, Linda and I had taken a nap together. At the moment I was still a woman but planned on changing back real soon.

Feeling a bit hungry, I rose from the bed careful not to wake my still sleeping wife. I didn't have any clothing but instead donned Linda's bathrobe that was placed on a chair in the bedroom. Then I made my way to the kitchen.

Dinner was going to be in a few hours, so I decided just to grab a snack. The kitchen area in our apartment was pretty simple, but one thing it didn't lack was a wide assortment of cookies.

After a few moment I chose a bag of Milano cookies by Pepperidge Farm. Taking these and after pouring myself a glass of apple juice, I went over to the couch and decided to check the mail that had arrived since my last stay at the apartment. A pile of mail was sitting on the small coffee table in the living room.

About fifteen to twenty minutes had passed and I was reading a copy of Newsweek, when I felt my bladder getting increasingly full and uncomfortable. Getting up off the couch I went to the bathroom. Not even thinking of my changes, I sat straight down on the commode and began to pee.

I was just beginning to unroll a wad of toilet paper when Linda stuck her head in the bathroom door. "Hey there lover girl."

"Hey to you." I said as I got up and began to wipe myself.

"I see you're a fast learner at this too."

"Got to do what I got to do." I said to my wife as I flushed the toilet and then went to wash my hands.

While I was washing my hands, Linda came up from behind me again and cupped my breasts with her hands again. "Do you mind if I wash my hands?"

"Sorry," Linda said sounding slightly disappointed as she removed her hands and stepped back. "I just like your breasts soooo much."

I giggled slightly as I dried my hands off with a towel. "Thanks."

Linda giggled again. "Too bad you can't keep them. You're such a wonderful and talented lesbian lover."

While I was happy to indulge my wife's fantasy, I was sticking to what I had said before. This would be the only time I'd do this. "Thanks but I don't think I can report back to Camp Casey like this."

My wife frowned slightly. "I guess so. Don't ask, don't tell."

"Exactly." I replied as I went back to the bedroom. It was time to change back.

Before I got back to the machine Linda spoke up. "You wouldn't happen to be hungry right now?"

Linda and I had eaten a late lunch, so I wasn't hungry at this time. Besides I had eaten three or four cookies just a few minutes earlier. "Not really."

My wife was licking her lips nervously again. That should have told me something. "I could really use some more KOREAN food now."

I knew Linda wasn't talking about kimchee but rather referring to me. What had gotten into my heterosexual wife? What would make her want to be act like a lesbian all of a sudden?

Eventually I'd learn to understand what was driving Linda, but I didn't know back on that September day. "Honey I need to get back to myself."

Linda frowned. "I just wanted to do it again. You were so loving to me."

"You got dinner to prepare. The children will be home. Let's be practical."

My wife seemed to know I was right but still persisted. "Dinner won't take long and the children won't be back till eight. We still have some time."

I looked at Linda straight in the eye. Despite her present case of temporary insanity, I loved her very much and always had to that point in my life. My weakness was I could never say no to her. Oh would have life turned out differently if I had just done it once that day!

"Ok but this is it. Tomorrow we're getting rid of this box. It's too dangerous to have around the children."

Linda perked up immediately. "I wish we could keep it so we could have more fun but you're right."

"Yes I am right."

My wife then wrapped her arms around my neck. "So let's not waste any more time. Let's fuck."

Linda and I had one last session of lesbian lovemaking that lasted about another thirty minutes or so. Like the first time, I was the aggressor bringing my wife twice to climax. That was four for her one for me if you're keeping score.

Disappointed this was the last time but accepting my final verdict, Linda left the bedroom shortly after I called it quits. She was going to start our dinner soon. Right after Linda left, I went back to the machine to change back.

I went back inside the booth and immediately touched the control panel. Some weird letters or symbols scrolled on by. Doing what Linda said earlier, I thought of my male body. Nothing happened, just more strange symbols kept scrolling.

A tinge of panic started to set in but I remained calm for the moment. I had to be doing something wrong. So I called for my wife. "Linda."

She didn't answer. So I went out to the kitchen area and told Linda what was wrong. We then went back to the bedroom. Once there, Linda went straight into the booth while I watched.

A few seconds passed. "I can't get up your image."

Right then I let go a string of foul Korean. I still talked and sounded as if I had grown up in the ROK.

"Be patient and remain calm," Linda told me back. "We got to be doing something wrong."

Remaining calm proved easier said than done. Linda and I worked at the machine with increasing desperation for almost an hour till the front doorbell rang. Brittney and Adam were back from their field trip.

Linda exited the bedroom to greet the children. I stayed in the bedroom. Now I was feeling both desperate and ashamed. The latter because the children were expecting their father to be home and look what I had done to myself.

By now I had done everything possible but take a hammer to the damned box. Out of desperation I began to rock it back and forth against the wall. The machine was incredibly light but still no change.

The banging noise I was making did bring Linda back in the room however. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get this frigging machine working again. What do you think!" I yelled as I lost my temper for the first time with Linda since using the machine. It wouldn't be the last.

"Don't yell," Linda said angrily back to me. "The children are outside. We'll figure this out together."

"They can't see me like this."

"There isn't any choice," Linda said as we began to argue. "We'll have to concoct some story till we can get this thing running again."

Linda and I continued to argue back and forth. I wanted her to go out and get some tools for me but she said this was impossible. Dinner was on the stove, the kids would need to be readied for bed afterwards. Plus almost all stores in Tongduchon were closed at this hour.

Damn the woman! She had to always be so practical. Still we continued to argue. That was till Brittney walked in.

"Mommy," Brittney said shyly. She was staring straight at me. My daughter was probably thinking who this strange naked woman was in the apartment. "The water on the stove is overflowing."

"Thanks precious. I'll be right outside." Linda told our daughter before ushering Brittney out of the room. That finished my wife and I returned to the disaster that had happened to me and how to solve it.

"We have to do something now." I said again.

Linda really lost patience with me now. "Let's can the fighting for now! We'll do something, but right now I need to get dinner ready. Let's go outside."

"Like this?" I said in reference to my naked female body.

"No put the robe back on of course," Linda told me. "When I get a minute I'll run out and grab a few things for you to wear."

"Where do you plan on getting me some clothes?" I asked remembering Linda's previous statement.

"The Powers apartment."

Two doors down from ours was an apartment shared by Steven and Myung Powers who were our neighbors. Like I, Steve was a US Army Officer and a West Point grad. We knew one another fairly well, having both gone to the academy just three years apart.

Right now Steve Powers was in process of packing up and moving out of the apartment. A little over a month ago his wife Myung had died tragically in the Korean Air crash on Guam. I was correct in guessing Linda was planning to borrow some of the dead woman's clothes.

My wife had a key to the Powers apartment. The whole situation right now was making me sick. I'd soon be wearing a dead woman's clothing.

"Let's stop arguing," Linda then told me. "We don't want to upset the children. I got to get back to the kitchen. Get your robe on and join me outside!"

I then watched Linda storm out of the room. With no choice in the matter I grabbed the white bath robe I had worn earlier and put it on. Then I left the bedroom.

The apartment my family shared in Tongduchon was a small one. So the moment I stepped out of the bedroom, Adam and Brittney's gaze was immediately upon me. I tried to act normal, if such a thing was possible now. I went straight to the kitchen.

"Hi Princess. Hi Tiger."

"Daddy?" Brittney asked with her mouth wide open. Adam on the other hand looked very scared. Almost as if he wanted to hide.

"Yes it's me."

Linda then spoke up. "Your father decided to try being a girl for a few days."

"You used the booth too?" Brittney asked as I helped Linda in the kitchen. Dinner was just beginning to come off. Adam was still not saying anything.

Trying to act normal was proving far tougher than I imagined. "Yes I did."

"That's cool." Brittney answered. Then Adam spoke up.

"I want my Daddy back." Adam said as he began to cry.

What Adam said to me tore my guts out. My son up till just recently would ask me if I'm going to be his Daddy again. I didn't have the guts to say it won't ever be happening.

Dinner went by alright. We talked about the children's field trip and Linda acted like nothing was out of ordinary. NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY??? I'll get more into how deranged my wife has become later.

When dinner was finished Linda excused herself while I and the children started cleaning up after dinner. In a few minutes Linda was back with a bag full of women's clothes for me. I went straight to the bedroom where I changed into shorts and a blouse plus bra and panty. Here hours ago I was a red blooded American male and now I was this Korean female thanks to this alien contraption and my screwed up wife. Right then I was in bad need of a beer.

I was going to start working on that box again when the Pike woman showed up. Yes, Sharon Pike was a friend of Linda's from when we were at Ft. Drum. I hadn't seen the woman in years but apparently my wife had and the two women had something to discuss. Linda told me to stay in the bedroom with the exception of helping get Brittney and Adam ready for bed that night.

Then there were the children again. While Brittney told me I was pretty and things like that, I could tell she missed her father. Just call it female intuition (something I never thought I'd possess) and it was tearing me apart. What had I let Linda do to our children? Adam was worse. The boy cried telling me he wanted his Daddy as I bathed him that night.

After I got the children ready, Brittney and Adam were asked to leave the bedroom but I stayed. Linda then brought the Pike woman in. Now I learned of the horrendous scheme these two women were involved with. Sharon Pike's husband was being required to do back to back tours in the ROK. To get him out of it, the wife turned her husband into a double of the dead Myung Powers!

Had these women lost their minds? I had already concluded my wife had. Now both Robert Pike and I were stuck as women. I learned the staff sergeant had been hurt in some traffic accident in Seoul. Sharon Pike had left him there! What a cunt that woman is. The woman gave me the creeps too.

Linda was showing the machine to Sharon and that it was obviously not working now. This made the Pike woman seriously unhappy and my wife tried consoling her. I WAS SERIOUSLY UNHAPPY but all I got was orders to leave them alone. Linda even told Sharon I had wanted to be a woman! Right after that I let go some Korean expletives. (If my new found Korean language skills had a benefit, it was that I could talk to Linda without most people being able to eavesdrop.) My own wife was treating me in a fashion; well no words really do justice to it.

Linda and Sharon Pike had no better luck with the machine than I did. Then to top matters off, my wife allowed this woman to stay at the apartment overnight. Sharon sleeping out on our couch while Brittney and Adam joined their mother and me in bed.

I stayed pretty calm that day with the exception of my arguing with Linda. That night I could barely sleep, I kept repeatedly going to the box in an effort to get it working again. It was all for naught.

The next day had both good news and horrible news. In the morning the Pike woman finally left. Good riddance, she gave me the creeps especially since Sharon seemed not all that concerned over her husband's fate.

My relations with Linda on the other hand were no better and continued to deteriorate. In the morning she located some tools and I tried to go to work on the box. The damn thing has no screws or seams! How the hell was it manufactured? Considering its powers I probably shouldn't have been surprised.

Then things went from bad to horrible. Around 1600 hours and while I was still trying to get the box to work, it re-stowed itself. All that was left was a small coffin like box twelve inches by about twelve. Till then I hadn't panicked, but now I couldn't be helped. It looked more and more like I may be this woman the rest of my life.

Linda and the children weren't home when this happened. They had gone into Tongduchon for some shopping. When they got home, I broke the news to Linda privately in the bedroom. The woman still acted like it was no big deal. NO BIG DEAL? I AM A WOMAN!

Why Linda had gone into town was to purchase me some clothes of my own. Wearing the clothes of a dead woman was not helping my mental state at all. Then later that evening I got even more signals from my wife. When we went to bed she made broad hints at us again having lesbian sex. I told Linda to get lost. I'd rather fuck a porcupine.

The children weren't doing well at all. Adam was shunning me completely. The boy could not grasp why his father was gone. Brittney at first seemed not to mind, but my daughter was always a real Daddy's girl. As time passed she began to miss her father too. Adam and Brittney wanted a man for their father, not this Korean woman I was trapped as. To say things weren't going well is an understatement.

Early Sunday morning Linda left me home with the children. What was her excuse to go out? She was going to mass. I wasn't buying it since neither of us had been to mass since moving to the ROK but I didn't say anything. Adam was starting to come down with a cold so I was needed at home. In the end Linda was out for four hours without giving an explanation. Later on I'd find out where she really went.

I did spend much of the morning working on the box but it was futile. Twelve broken drill bits from trying to crack that frigging machine was all I had to show for my exertions.

Late on Sunday the wind and rain of a typhoon began to batter the apartment. The storm wasn't striking Korea directly but passing through the nearby Sea of Japan. For the rest of Sunday and practically all of Monday it rained and blew unmercifully. That meant Adam, Brittney, Linda and I were cooped up in the apartment. For the moment my wife and I weren't fighting because we knew this would upset the children.

This couldn't last forever. I was still an officer in the US Army and I was fully aware by Monday afternoon I would be considered AWOL. Reporting in as a woman appeared silly but that wasn't the motive behind my visit to Camp Casey on Tuesday morning. What I was hoping and praying for was somehow I could get some help for the situation I was now in.

So I left the apartment in the early a.m. I sneaked out without informing Linda at the same time quietly enough that my sleeping wife didn't notice my exit. I got lucky and caught a cab up to Casey and its main gate.

This trip proved to a total waste of time. I pleaded with the gate guards, citing my social security number, name of my CO and people in my unit, anything I could think of to convince these men I was really one of them.

They weren't buying it and an Army Captain who I never met before came to the front gate. I tried telling him the same information I recited to the gate guards. The result was the same, but this Captain Paulson now told me to leave. If I didn't, the Korean police would be called.

Before departing for the return trip to my apartment, I learned just one of the many ways my life had been changed. It was a remark from one of the guards at the gate.

"Sugar, come back tonight at 1900 and I'll show you a real good time." The Army sergeant called to me as I began my walk home.

I did most of my trip back to the apartment by foot. The taxi that had brought me to the military installation had long since left. I could have tried hitchhiking, but one never knows who the person is who is picking you up. They could be a rapist for heavens sake. I felt safer walking.

After walking for about an hour I got some luck. A bus was coming down the road and I flagged it down. It was going to Tongduchon and would drop me a mile from the apartment I shared with my family.

When I got home Brittney and Adam were playing in the front yard. I said hello to them but received no reply. I wouldn't be so lucky with Linda when I got into the apartment.

"Where the hell have you been?" An exasperated Linda asked me. "We have been sick with worry for hours wondering where you had gone to."

"I went to Camp Casey to try to get some help." I told my wife as I made a beeline to the refrigerator. Right then I was in bad need of a beer even if it was still morning.

"And?"

"No one would believe me. They thought I was crazy." I said as I took a beer out of the refrigerator. "Where's the bottle opener?"

"You're going to drink beer now?"

"Sure am. I'm going to get drunk." Despite Linda's non-answer, I located the bottle opener. I then opened the bottle and took a swig. You know something? My new body had no taste for this alcoholic beverage.

"At this time of the day? With the children around? Can you possibly tell me WHY???" Linda asked me in disbelief as I walked past her to the living room where I plopped myself down on a couch. There I took my second drink of beer. The taste had not improved.

"You really need to know why? Look at me you dumb bitch! I'm now stuck as your frigging lesbian fantasy for the rest of my life."

A very loud and very unpleasant argument ensued between Linda and I. Blame being passed back and forth like a hot potato. I don't know how long this went on for. Finally Linda gave up.

"I'm not taking this crap any more," My wife told me as she grabbed her purse. I was still seated on the couch and had nearly finished my beer in spite of not liking the taste. "You stay here and get drunk. I'm going to take the kids and leave. I may be back in a couple of hours or never! Bye."

Not getting up off the couch I watched Linda stalk out of the apartment. I then picked up my beer and finished it. This done I got up off the couch and went to the kitchen. It was time for another.

The next twelve days till two agents named C and D came to investigate were rocky to say the least. Linda and the children did return to the apartment later that futile Tuesday. I was by then passed out on the couch drunk. I had drunk four beers in an effort to forget the disaster my life had become. The couch would be my bed that evening and in the days ahead.

Other than when arguing or when something needed to be communicated, Linda and I seldom talked to one another before those agents arrived. We argued, almost daily and usually when the children weren't around. Adam and Brittney were upset enough already.

The topic of the arguments never changed. It was always about who was to blame for the current mess I was in. Neither of us would accept responsibility for it.

Twice in that first week we had visitors. Korean police came asking questions about my disappearance. Linda fielded these while I watched the children as they played outside. MPs from Camp Casey also came looking for Captain McGee, again Linda handled it. Neither time was I suspected of being the missing Army officer.

It was during the MPs visit that Linda renamed me. She called me Kim not just to the soldiers but to the children. I wasn't her husband anymore, just the person she wanted to fuck. This produced another stand-up row between us later that day.

On the night of September 28th Linda tried a different approach rather than argue with me. The children were already in bed and I was watching television in the living room. Other than that one day I had not gotten drunk at any time since using the machine.

"Jack can we talk?"

I wasn't in the mood for talking so I just scowled back at my wife. This didn't dissuade Linda from continuing to talk to me.

"Jack I love you."

"Don't you mean you love Kim?" I said trying to keep my voice at a low enough volume so as to not wake the children. "That's what you are calling me now."

"I just thought that was a more proper name at the moment. With those men here I had to call you something."

"We could have just told them the truth." I said to my wife as I turned off the television. Right then I folded my arms over my no longer flat chest.

Breasts, I now had breasts. As a guy I found this female anatomy the most beautiful part of a woman. I loved a nice set of hooters. Actually I felt overly large ones were kind of gross, though a lot of guys felt the exact opposite. A set of upright 34bs were seemingly perfect from the view of Jack McGee.

Now those 34b breasts hung from my own body. They were a very nice pair, no doubt about it. I no longer felt attracted but ashamed about the two orbs I now owned. They may be a part of me the rest of my life.

Linda continued talking while I dwelled on my breasts. "They wouldn't have believed us. Just like when you went up to Casey that day."

"We could have tried," I said biting my lip. Right at the moment I wanted to scream my head off at my wife. "What the hell did we have to lose?"

Linda stared at me for a few moments. "Nothing probably. I suppose we could have."

"I've tried everything I can to get that box open again. Nothing has worked. Maybe we can get help. We can't continue living like this forever. Our money will run out sooner or later. The Army will stop my pay."

Linda may have gone insane but she still could be practical. "Yes I guess you're right."

"I am right. Maybe we should go down to the US embassy in Seoul this week. Isn't that what that Pike woman did?"

"Yes that's what Sharon said she would do."

"We should do the same."

"Nobody may be able to help us."

I then got a bit annoyed. "You don't think I know that already! We have to get help one way or the other. I don't want to be a woman the rest of my life."

"If it comes to that I'll help you adjust." Linda felt one regret. That she hadn't made Jack like that Army Sergeant when he first came out of the box. With the ability to speak Korean, but not English. It would have made it so much easier to make Jack see she knew what was best for the two of them.

"Adjust to what?" I said as my annoyance factor continued to go up another notch. "Having tits and a cunt? Having to wear bras and dresses? Having a period every month? Talking like I was born in this country? Looking like I was in this country? Looking like someone's sexual fantasy? Being your sexual fantasy!"

Linda was still acting like this was no big deal. "It isn't that bad is it?"

"You weren't me the other day getting hit on by guys up at Camp Casey. I was!"

"I didn't tell you to go up there. It was your choice and therefore your fault what happened at Casey."

I violently shook my head. We were back to the blame argument. "And who turned me into this?!?"

Linda had her usual comeback. "No one put a gun to your head. You went in there of your own free will."

The blame argument flared again for another five minutes or so. Neither Linda nor I were budging from our stances. Both of us blaming the other and not willing to even take partial responsibility.

Linda was the first one to get tired of that evening's bickering "We got to stop arguing about who's to blame."

I had to agree. "Yes we got big problems right now. The children for one."

"What about the children?" Linda asked as she seemed clueless to what I could be referring to.

"They are scared of me. Brittney and particularly Adam think of me like I was a freak right now."

"No they don't, they love you."

"Not right now. They're scared of me or what has become of me. Adam and Brittney miss their father and I don't blame them. This is as big a disaster for them as it is for us."

"Brittney and Adam still have two parents."

"Two women parents but no father!" I said. "Can't you see that?"

"Yes I see that. I just think it's not the issue you see it is. A lot of two women couples raise families."

"You mean lesbian couples."

"Yes, lesbian couples. If you're stuck like this, I'll help you; the children will learn to adjust. We still love them; you're still their parent..."

I shook my head almost violently now. "No they want a father. Can't you see that?"

"Yes it just may not be possible any more. We're all going to have to move on, accept what's happened and get on with our lives."

"As a lesbian couple? You really like what happened to me, don't you?"

Linda had been nervously licking her lips for much of our talk. This signaled to me her real goal was to get me back into bed. "Sweetheart I'd be lying if I said no. I really am gay."

'Gay? After being married for six years and having two children by me. How could that be?' I thought in disbelief. "Linda, gay or straight or whatever. We're through no matter what happens with me."

"What?" Linda asked in disbelief after her jaw dropped.

"Yes. When everything is settled, whether I'm a man, a woman or a billy goat I'm going to do the same thing. Get a divorce and in the process take Adam and Brittney as far away from you as possible you dumb bitch!"

The last words were probably not a wise choice by me. Because Linda and I then began to have a violent yelling match right then. Adam and Brittney had to have had heard every word of it and possibly the neighbors too considering how thin the walls were in the apartment.

Linda made her last stand. "You can have a divorce you bitch. Live like a bitch for all I care and get banged by guys if that's what you want. But you'll never get my children. Never, I'll take them tomorrow and you'll never see them again."

Then I watched Linda as she stormed her way into the bedroom slamming the door behind her. I knew my wife very well. Linda was a coward at heart. Still I couldn't totally dismiss her threats. I then went to the kitchen. It was time to have a beer.

Linda didn't take the children anywhere the next day. She did go out for a few hours without telling any of us where she went. For a while I thought she was going to do the leaving till I found her passport still in the apartment. Linda couldn't go anywhere, and was back to the apartment in the late afternoon.

Something interesting happened while Linda was out. I was greeted by Adam and Brittney after they went out to play with some neighbor children. My son actually hugged me for the first time since my using the box.

Then it was Brittney's turn. She whispered in my ear. "Daddy, we'll love you even if you're our Mommy now."

I don't know what had happened. Had Linda tried to poison the children's minds against me and it backfired? Or were Adam and Brittney being torn apart by the fighting going on between their mother and me? I was pretty certain it was the later. My children were the innocent victims of this whole affair, they had done nothing wrong. Now they were seeing their happy family falling apart around them.

That day I realized how selfish I had been. This wasn't my and Linda's problem only but the children also. Adam and Brittney still loved me, no matter what. I was still their parent and I wanted to remain so. If I was stuck for life as a woman, could I put aside my anger at Linda for the children's sake so we could remain an entire family? I had a lot of soul searching to do in the days ahead.

For now I decided to spend more time with the Adam and Brittney. If there was one benefit of my transformation, it was this. I'd either play with them outside or watch them as they played with other children. Two days later we all took a bus into the nearby mountains and spent the day walking and hiking.

Linda and I stopped arguing those last few days. Things were cool to say the least between us, but the reason for our cease fire was again the children. We didn't want to upset them more than they were already.

That day Adam, Brittney and I went to the Soyo Mountains, we got a phone call at the apartment. It was the embassy and Linda was told some people would be visiting the next day to discuss Sharon Pike and her husband Robert. Maybe they were coming also to discuss my story; at least I was hoping that would occur. Later that evening I went to bed praying for a miracle for me and the children.

It was about 1045 on the morning of Friday October 4th when two odd looking men began approaching the apartment house we lived. Both men were dressed totally in black and wore dark sunglasses.

I was out front supervising Adam and Brittney and some neighbor children as they played. These two men walked right past me without a word but I did see them go to my apartment door.

So it looked like help may have finally arrived. I was very antsy right then because of my uncertain fate. Earlier in the day Linda and I had talked over breakfast. No arguing, just what would be done when these people showed up.

"I'll talk to them at first," Linda said. "The person who called yesterday said they were coming to ask about the Pikes."

"Make sure you don't forget me."

"Don't worry, I won't. I'll call for you when the time comes. The children want to play outside today. It's such a nice day. You can keep an eye on them."

I would have preferred to have been there to tell my situation as soon as these people arrived but decided to avoid another fight with Linda instead. "Ok, I'll do that."

So I watched the agents or men enter the apartment and began waiting. I figured it wouldn't be long before I had to go inside.

I waited. Waited some more. I waited even more. All the while I was looking at the wrist watch on my arm seemingly every other minute. What was taking so long inside?

At one point Adam had to go pee, so he went inside the apartment to do so but I continued watching the children. My hopes that Adam would tell me some good news were dashed when he came back outside. My son said the men were still talking with his mother. Adam didn't know what about.

I was dismayed to say the least when at about 12:30 the men exited the apartment carrying the box. Both of them walked by me without saying a word but one did give me the oddest look. What the hell was going on here? Had Linda not told them about me?

As the two men were about to round the corner, I shot daggers with my eyes towards my wife. 'Have you gone nuts??? Tell them!'

Linda must have read my body language. For she then called out. "Gentlemen, could you please come back. There is something else I want to tell you."

The two men did come back and I was the one to show them back in the apartment. Linda had gone to a neighbor. She was probably asking if they could see to Adam and Brittney getting some lunch.

While I waited with the two men, none of us said anything. However one of the agents, the one who later introduced himself as D was giving me an odd look. I didn't have a clue yet as to why.

"I'm back," Linda said on re-entering the apartment. "You gentleman may want to sit down again. Me and Kim have something to tell you.

The two men did as Linda suggested. I was still resentful at my wife over being called Kim instead of my real name. But I didn't say it. "Where are Adam and Brittney?" I asked in Korean.

"They are having lunch over at the Kims." Linda said to me. Then we both sat down.

"I think we better explain." Linda began by saying.

The agent known as D spoke up. "Go ahead ma'am."

"This woman...I call Kim is really my husband Jack."

"Yes I'm Jack McGee."

D then spoke in a low whisper to the other agent I'd later learn was called C. Then D spoke again. "Give us a minute, we'll want to interview both of you."

About two minutes later my taped interview began. I started by telling the events of September 19th working my way towards today when C and D visited.

I did most of talking, with D occasionally asking a question. Once in a while Linda would say something. Usually to confirm what I had just said. All during this interview the question remained, was my change temporary or permanent? I was afraid to ask and C and D didn't let on either.

The interview began to wind down after about an hour or so. Then Linda spoke up. "You said something before about how you can help us."

It was D that spoke. He had done most of the questioning while C kept notes."Yes we give people like you what we call adjustment funds or expense money."

"How much would that be?" Linda asked.

"I can't state a figure Ma'am. It varies from case to case. Person to person. We also provide legal assistance; help with re-locating, we provide people a new identity and other services."

All this was well and good but I needed to know my fate. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you may Ma'am." D said. He had called or referred to me as Ma'am during the entire interview. Never Jack or Captain McGee. That should have told me something.

"Is this permanent for me?"

"Yes I am afraid it is."

Right then I immediately began to tremble. I got up from my chair as I did so I began to scream. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Linda got up to try consoling me but before she did so I began to feel light headed or weak. Then my knees buckled. A moment later I was lying on the floor. I had fainted.

The two weeks after my fainting incident are pretty much a blur to me. I was later told I had a complete mental breakdown. Only now am I beginning to recover.

I was taken from Tongduchon to Seoul where I was admitted to a hospital. Much of my time there was spent sedated, the only thing I remember about my stay there was Brittney and Adam one day visiting one time. They were crying and saying they loved me.

My stay in Seoul lasted about a week. Then I was flown back to the states along with Linda and the children. I wasn't sedated on the trip over, rather my mind and thought processes were totally clear. How did I get into this mess and what was I to do now with my life? Those were the questions that spun in my head during my return trip stateside.

When we got to the United States I was taken to some treatment facility in Virginia. That's where I am still now. I was given a brief physical or medical checkup on arrival. By this time I was separated from Linda and the children.

Once I was cleared by the doctor, I was shown to a small room and told to undress and put on this hospital style gown. Then I was shown to a small anti-septic room. It measured around fifteen feet by fifteen feet in size.

In the room there was a bed, a toilet, a table with some magazines on it, a sink with a mirror above it and a television set mounted on the mall. Taking the small bag I had been given by a staffer, I walked into the room. A moment after I was safely in the room, the door behind me closed. I then heard a bolt slide across.

Was I in some kind of jail? That was one of the first things I thought of. I was AWOL from the army. On the other hand nothing about the clinic or the people that worked there appeared to be military. So where was I?

Not knowing what else to do I just laid on my bed and began to cry. What was I supposed to do with my life now? I was at a total loss in that regard. I still loved my children and I now felt ashamed. For Adam and Brittney now mourned the loss of their father. What had I done to them? I just began to realize I was also at fault not just Linda.

My mood wasn't being helped at all by the arrival of my very first menses during the flight over. The cramps made me moody and irritable as I was given another reminder of how my life had been changed.

A short time later a woman arrived. She began to ask me my medical history. Other than a broken arm suffered when I was ten, I had no ailments or serious injuries as Jack McGee. At least none that I knew of or could recall.

Before leaving me the woman named MRN said I would be seen by some doctors the next day. I didn't think of it till later, but was I about to become a human guinea pig?

Someone also brought me dinner but I wasn't really hungry. I only picked at the food. Lying back down on the bed I began to cry again and wallow in self-pity. Why had this happened to me I kept asking?

Maybe they should have kept me sedated longer. For in the middle of the first night (There was a wall clock in the cell) I lost it. After getting up to go pee, I couldn't go back to sleep. Instead I turned on the television. Conan O'Brien was just ending. After that was over I began to channel surf.

It was the middle of the night and there was little on but news and old movies. I quickly turned the television set off and looked for something else to do.

There were the magazines in my room and I thought I might try these. That was my big mistake. I only remember two of the four magazines in the room. They were Good Housekeeping and Brides and the two others were women's magazines also.

I suddenly snapped. Beginning to scream, I tried wrecking anything I could find in the room. Only the small table wasn't nailed down, and that I overturned. With nothing else to take my frustrations out on, I began pounding my fists against the wall.

Help was on the way now, I heard the door begin to unlock. I then changed from pounding my fists to pounding my head against the wall. Like it was a battering ram. Two large men and a woman entered my room. Before they could stop and grab me, I inflicted both a nasty scalp wound and a concussion on myself.

Then the two men grabbed me. As I was restrained, the unnamed female doctor or nurse took out a syringe and stuck me in my left arm with it. I immediately began to get sleepy. Just before my eyes closed, I wished I was dead.

My head banging episode got me sedated again for a few days. I remember very little about this time. Just doctors and nurses coming and going from the room I was in. To prevent any more attempts at suicide, I was either strapped into my bed or wearing restraints.

My injuries were rather minor. The worst was the headaches I got from my concussion. These just seemed to be the least of my troubles now. I had royally screwed up my and Adam and Brittney's lives. What was I to do now?

One of the few things I remember in from those days is a dream or rather a nightmare I had. I was stuck in this bubble like room. Outside it were men. Millions of men all staring at me. Blowing kisses at me. All of them naked. All of them masturbating.

Standing next to me was Linda and she kept laughing and laughing as I tried to claw my way out of the bubble. Linda said to me.

"Go, get out of here. They're waiting for you out there." Linda laughed and laughed as I collapsed to the floor screaming in agony.

It was another four or five days after my head butting episode till I was brought to another room and seated in a chair. For my protection I was wearing a straight jacket. I really wasn't thinking of suicide but those caring for me weren't taking any chances.

A minute or two after I was seated, a man entered the room. He was apparently a doctor for he wore a lab style coat. The doctor was somewhere in his early or mid forties. Medium height and build, he had black curly hair and wore glasses.

"Hello Captain McGee," The doctor said as he entered the room. He was carrying a folder and a legal pad. "My name is Doctor Avram Mandel. I have been asked to examine you."

Right from the beginning I got a good feeling about this doctor. He called me Captain McGee, not Ms. or Ma'am. "Hello doctor."

Dr. Mandel took a seat at the table about ten feet away from me. The shrink or psychiatrist put a pen and writing pad on his left and the manila folder directly in front of him. We were the only people in the room but I was certain we were being watched. "How are you this morning?"

"Just great for someone who had their sex changed and is now wearing a strait jacket." I said with more than a bit of sarcasm. Almost immediately I questioned if this taking this tone with my keepers was wise. If I ever wanted to see my freedom again it would probably be best to play it straight.

"I'm sorry that you're uncomfortable. We're just doing this for your safety."

I chose my words carefully before replying. "Doctor I promise not to do any thing. Could you help me out and get this thing removed? It is very uncomfortable."

Doctor Mandel looked at me for a minute before rising from his chair. "Give me a couple of minutes. I'll be right back."

It was closer to ten minutes in my estimation before the psychiatrist returned. This time a very large male guard or keeper came into the room also. My strait jacket was then removed.

As soon as my arms were free I began to flex them. "Thank you doctor.

"I'm glad to help you out Captain McGee. Feel free to help yourself to a cup of water if you feel thirsty."

"Thank you doctor, I appreciate you doing this. I'm not thirsty right now."

"We'll get this session under way then…" Dr. Mandel began by saying till I spoke up.

"You're a shrink aren't you?"

Dr. Mandel showed no sign of being insulted by my terminology. "Yes I am a shrink or rather a psychiatrist. I have a private practice but also teach at Georgetown University in Washington D.C."

"Ok doctor. Ask anything you want."

"You are John Patrick McGee, correct?"

"Yes sir but my friends call me Jack."

"Ok Jack, you are a Captain in the US Army. Serving in Korea, most recently with the 2nd Division out of Camp Casey?"

"Yes that's all correct. I graduated the military academy at West Point in 1987."

"I'd like to hear your side of the events beginning on September 19th of this year." Dr. Mandel told me. As the doctor listened quietly, I took the next ten or so minutes to give a rundown of what had happened to me up to the day before.

"Your children found the box?"

"Correct. Linda was home but I was up at Camp Casey."

"Who was the first to use it?"

"Adam and Brittney were the ones who opened it. That's according to my wife. Linda says Brittney turned Adam into a puppy dog. My wife then turned him back."

Dr Mandel had kept or written notes from my earlier monologue. He now consulted them before asking his next question.

"You didn't get back to the apartment till the 19th?"

"Yes that is correct," I told Dr. Mandel before asking a question of my own. "Doctor could it possible for me to see my children? I really miss them."

"Captain McGee I can't make any promises, but I'll check into that as soon as today's interview is over."

"Thank you Doctor, I appreciate that." I told Dr. Mandel. Slowly I was beginning to feel this psychiatrist was on my side.

"Why did you use the machine?"

"Because of my wife. She had this sexual fantasy."

"A same sex fantasy then?"

"Correct. Linda pretty much told me she wanted to be fucked by a woman and to fuck one herself," I explained to the doctor. "Forgive my language."

"That's quite all right Captain. Can you tell me why you did this for your wife?"

I paused for a moment before answering. "Doctor I never in my life desired or fantasized about being a woman."

"But you became one for your wife. At her urging?"

"Yes," Right then I paused again for a few moments. "I love my wife Linda very much. Even if I'm angry at her, and right now I'm very angry."

"Wouldn't loving someone and being angry with them be incompatible?"

The doctor had a good point. "You're married doctor?"

"Yes I am."

"You love your wife. You love your children," I said while flexing my arms. They were very sore due to their recent confinement in the strait jacket. "The toughest thing to do with someone you love is to tell them no."

"Sometimes we need to do that. Like when you discipline a child."

I nodded my head. "Yes you have a point. When I went in there, I was just testing what..well that machine could do."

"Did you ever think of the dangers?"

"I think I did. Then I never thought this would be the result." I said looking down at myself. "Let me backtrack doctor, my wife didn't make any advances towards me till after I stepped into the box."

"Did you suspect her motive before going in?"

"No."

"Who chose your current body?" The doctor asked after a few seconds of reading some report he had brought with him.

"Linda did. She was the one who brought up the image on the screen."

"Did you at any time before that day have any desire to be a member of the female gender?"

"No I didn't at any time in my life."

"But your wife chose your body?"

"Yes she did," I told the psychiatrist. "Somehow I also became able to speak the Korean language. I never spoke it before that day either."

"Does your wife speak it?"

"Yes she does. Linda lived in the country when she was like age four till age ten or thereabouts."

"So what did you do when you came out of the machine?

"I just stared at myself in the mirror," I told the doctor. "I was in awe of what that machine or box had done to me."

"Was that when your wife started making her sexual advances towards you?"

"Yes it was."

The doctor then took me into tremendous detail of the events of September 19th. Pretty much having me tell everything I could remember about the day from the moment I stepped out of the box.

Eventually we got to the nitty gritty of when Linda and I got into bed and began having sex. The doctor began to ask for details. "You and your wife began to engage in oral sex?"

"Yes we did." I said feeling embarrassed to be discussing my sex life.

The doctor must have noticed my embarrassment. "Captain McGee, I am not trying to embarrass you by asking these questions."

"Doctor I never thought you did. I'm just not used to talking about this subject."

"Most people aren't. Why I am asking these questions is so I can better understand you and what happened. While at the same time provide you a chance to examine yourself by recounting the events of the last month."

"Ok Doctor, ask anything you want." I said. Right then I was beginning to feel a little thirsty so I poured myself a glass of water. "Will we get a lunch break?"

"Yes we will. I'll probably have us stop at noon. We'll then resume at 1:30." Dr. Mandel explained.

"That will be ok. I can wait to eat."

"Explain what you and wife did that day."

"We took all our clothes off first. No scratch that, I didn't have any clothes on when I came out of the machine. Neither did Linda. So we got into bed and started to kiss.

"Go on."

"We kissed and kissed, we had our hands all over one another. Well...I got to admit I was enjoying it."

"Did your wife enjoy it too?"

I laughed. "She loved it. Particularly when I started rubbing some of her private areas with one of my hands. We did this for a while, and then we shifted positions to what Linda told me was sixty-nine."

For another four hours that day I told what happened back on September 19th and in the days following up to C and D's arrival . The doctor wanted a great deal of detail, and I gave it to him. Now I was beginning to see more clearly what had happened that day. I could have said no to Linda and therefore avoided the fate that befallen me. So my wife and I were both to blame.

The afternoon part of my interview with Dr. Mandel lasted three hours before he signaled it was over. Then he told me I could ask any questions I wanted. I had quite a few.

"What's going to happen with me? I mean I will be let out of here eventually."

"Of course you will Captain McGee," Dr. Mandel said as he removed his eye glasses so as to clean them. "But first we need to do some tests."

"What kind of tests?"

"There will a series of physical exams and tests. You'll also be given psychological tests and be interviewed some more."

"Will you always be doing the interviews?"

"Not always but I will be back again for us to chat some more. You'll be seeing my wife Ilana to discuss your gender issues. She is a psychologist specializing in that field."

One thing was certain, I definitely had gender issues. "How long will all of this take?"

"It depends on your own needs Captain. You have suffered two breakdowns. We don't want you to leave till you are mentally ready to face life again."

I knew the doctor had my well being in mind but I had to wonder if I'd ever be totally ready to face life as a woman and what that meant. "You said earlier you'll try arranging a time for me to see my children."

"Yes I am going to look into that today. You'll get an answer very soon. In a day, two at most."

I nodded my head. "I'd really like to see Brittney and Adam."

"Do you wish to see your wife too at that time?"

I thought for a few moments. Even if I was partly to blame, I still felt bitter towards Linda. When I began my new life outside this hospital or whatever it was, I was already concluding I'd prefer a life without my wife. I wasn't one hundred percent certain about that yet and would continue to mull that important matter. "No I think I rather see them alone. Would it be possible for me to get out? I mean get some fresh air. I'm starting to feel cooped up in this place."

"Captain McGee I don't see any problem with that. I'll recommend it to the management here."

"Thank you. By the way where is here?"

"You're in Virginia, about thirty miles west of Washington DC. Any further questions?"

I thought for a few moments. Dr. Mandel had answered my biggest concerns at the moment. "No, not right now."

"Then the interview is over," Dr. Mandel said as he rose from his chair. I got up to at the same time. Then we shook hands. "Captain we're here to help you cope with what happened to you. The people here are on your side."

"Thanks Doctor. I appreciate that."

"I think when this is over, you'll find out your life hasn't ended. Only changed. You're rather fortunate in a way?"

"How is that doctor?"

"You have a wife and children. They still care a great deal for you. Remember that, if you harm yourself you harm them also. Adam and Brittney both still love their father and have been telling us that since you got here. I would keep that in mind."

"Thanks doctor, I will do just that."

Dr. Mandel then left the room. A minute later two orderlies came in and escorted me back to my room.

As promised I got some answers the next day to the concerns I expressed to Dr. Mandel. Right after eating breakfast I was taken outside the facility or house I was in. The clinic looked like an ordinary manor house and was surrounded by large green lawns. Later on I'd find out the facility was on 20 acres of land some where near Front Royal Virginia.

The fresh air proved to be invigorating both mentally and physically. So I decided to take a brisk walk around the building a few times. All the while I was watched by a couple of male orderlies. They were there for my protection. To make sure I didn't do anything foolish again.

I had no intentions of harming myself. My head butting episode was less a suicide attempt, than it was a fit of anger brought on by the frustration I was suffering at that moment. I loved my children and knew if I took my own life it would kill a part of them too. This I could never do.

That morning I was given sixty minutes outside. When my time was up, I had to come inside. After showering and changing into fresh clothes, my examination process began.

The first day was entirely made of physical exams. A female doctor whose badge said CRZ began by taking my entire medical history. She was incredibly thorough, so much so I almost expected her to ask about like my bowel movements and such. Dr. CRZ didn't do this. When the questioning ended, I was told to lie down on the exam table.

Part two of my exam consisted of Dr. CRZ not leaving one part of my body untouched. She poked, prodded or rubbed every bit of it. The last two parts of the exam were the least fun.

First I was told to put my legs up in the stirrups connected to the exam table. Then CRZ gave me my first gynecological exam. Ticklish it wasn't!

After that was over and then being told to stand up and spread my legs wide, I got my first female rectal exam. Oh the Joy!

"Everything there doc?" I asked the doctor after the Rectal was done.

"Yes Captain it appears so. You may get dressed again." Then the doctor left the room.

Dr. CRZ may have been done with me but my examinations were hardly over. A nurse then entered the room and took some of my blood. After that was done the nurse left the room again and the two orderlies came back in.

"Come with us." The blonde haired refrigerator size guy with tattooed arms told me. I complied and followed the two men out of the room.

For the rest of the day I had tests. One test after another, I wondered in the end if they forgot anything. A EEG, an EKG, a bone scan, a pet scan, a cat scan, a chest x-ray. The most interesting may have occurred just before dinner. I had an ultrasound, just like Linda had when she was pregnant with Brittney and Adam.

The technician paid no attention to my protests about the impossibility of my being pregnant. At the end the woman said. "You're done Captain, everything looks good."

"Thanks." I said as I closed up my gown again and stepped into my slippers. This finished I exited the exam room.

Instead of my usual orderlies waiting for me, there was a tall balding man in his mid thirties waiting out in the hallway for me. "Captain McGee please come with me."

It wasn't till we were seated in a very plain and windowless office that another word was said. "My name is FD, I am the administrator of this facility. How has your day been so far?"

"Ok I guess. I am just tired of all the tests."

"We're almost finished Captain. Any complaints about your treatment here?"

"No, none at this time."

"If you have any complaints, please let me know Captain." The doctor said and then after glancing at some papers on his desk FD continued on. "We have some good news for you. You'll have a visitation from your children Sunday afternoon."

"Really?" I said immediately as my spirits immediately perked up. "One question, what day of the week is today?"

The doctor laughed slightly. "Today is Friday October 24th."

"I've lost all track of time."

"That's alright Captain. Unless you have any questions, you may go have dinner now." FD said as he got up from his chair. "You're permitted outside again if you wish after your meal."

"Thanks doctor." I then got up out of my seat and after shaking the doctor's hand I left the room.

My last medical tests were done on Saturday morning. After these were completed, I was allowed to do anything I pleased for the rest of the weekend. The trouble was what to do? I wasn't allowed off the grounds and my family wasn't arriving for another day, so my choices were limited.

I did keep myself occupied however. In the basement there was a gym with a weight room next door. There I spent much of Saturday either shooting hoops or lifting weights. One thing I quickly discovered was I hadn't lost my touch at making free throws.

There was also a small library there. I took some books out to read on Saturday but instead joined in a nickel and dime poker game with my two orderlies and the nurse on duty. At night's end I came out three dollars ahead.

I woke Sunday feeling excited for the first time in a long time. My children were coming to visit me.

I was waiting outside the facility's main entrance at 1 p.m. That was the time Adam and Brittney were supposed to arrive. My wait wasn't a long one.

A black Cadillac Sedan could was soon seen coming up the long driveway or road leading to the building. As soon as the vehicle was stopped, the back right passenger door opened.

"Mom!" Yelled an excited Brittney as she jumped out of the car running towards me. I was instantly greeted with a big hug and kiss. "We missed you so much."

Adam had to be helped out of his car seat. But once this was done, my son also hurried over to me. "Hi Mom I love you."

"I love both of you too." I said as I began to cry. One thing hadn't changed, my children still loved me.

The first thing I did with Adam and Brittney was get re-acquainted. It was such a beautiful late October day; I decided to take the children for a long walk on the grounds of facility I was staying at.

"What have you and Adam been doing?"

"We saw Washington." Adam said.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes."

"We went to the White House, the Capitol, The monuments and even the zoo." Brittney told me.

"I like the museum with the dinosaur." Adam added. I knew he had to be talking about the Smithsonian.

"So you both had a good time?"

"Yes we did," Brittney said and Adam affirmed it. "But we missed you Mom."

There it was again. I was being called Mom. Why were they calling me by that name? Or did it really matter? Right then I didn't care, I was so happy to see Adam and Brittney.

"I missed you too."

"Mom says hello." Brittney told me.

"Oh. Where is your mother right now?"

"Back at the apartment. They said Mom couldn't come with us."

"We love you Mom." Adam told me again.

"I love both of you too. So very much." Then we all shared a big group hug.

Adam, Brittney and I continued to walk around the grounds as we got re-acquainted with one another. First I got a lot of detail of their time seeing Washington. Then the conversation turned to where my children and their mother went next.

"We went to Florida for a week." Brittney told me. Now this bit of news surprised me but considering the children's tales of their escapades at Orlando area theme parks, I was happy they had enjoyed themselves.

As we talked about Orlando our walk brought us to a stream that ran through the property and then emptied into a pond or lake. Each of us took turns trying to skip rocks off the surface of the water. It felt so good to be out here enjoying time with the children. Even almost to the point of my almost forgetting my recent sex change. I may have accomplished this except for the children calling me Mom instead of Dad.

The sky was beginning to darken, and a storm appeared heading our way. So the children and I picked up our pace and headed back to the manor. Just as we reached the covered porch the skies opened up.

Despite the rain it was still a pleasant enough day that I preferred we stay outside. Brittney, Adam and I therefore took seats at a table on the porch. One of the orderlies was kind enough to bring us all beverages.

"I'm so happy to see both of you."

"We are too Mom." Brittney replied. "Mom we want you to come home."

"I will Princess; I have more tests to do first. How is your mother?" Maybe I should have asked other mother.

"Mom is ok. She talks about you all the time."

"You aren't in school right now?"

"Mom is home schooling me."

"So you all have an apartment in Bethesda?"

"Yes Mom.

Adam spoke up. "Mom, when are you coming home?"

"Soon Tiger, very soon."

"I love you Mom." My boy then gave me a big hug. I was grateful for this time with Adam and Brittney. There was just one thing that troubled me. Why were they acting like my sex change was no big deal?

Up till now I had avoided the topic. I decided this was the time to ask. "Tiger, Princess, you know I won't be your father anymore. It's still Dad on the inside but I'm like your mother now."

"We do Mom." Brittney said. "Mom has talked to us about it."

"I love you Mom forever." Adam said.

"What did your mother talk to you about?" I asked. The rain was now coming down in buckets.

"About us, how we'd still be a family. Adam and I want you two to be together."

"We will have two Moms." Adam added.

'Uh Oh. Out of the mouths of babes as they say. Linda may want us to be a couple but I don't know if I still want her.' I thought to myself. I now accepted fault for what happened to me but at the same time I was still resentful or angry at my wife. If not for Linda's fantasies or hidden desires, this would have never happened.

"Mom wants us to stay together as a family. Will we Mom?"

"I don't know Princess. We'll just have to see."

Brittney and Adam's visit was a much needed psychological boost for me. It also helped motivate me to get well enough that I could leave this facility and be their parent again. Whether man or woman I loved my children both very much and they loved me back.

Monday had me taking another series of tests. Multiple choice personality questionnaires, Rorschach better known as the ink blots. In the first case I wondered how these questionnaires told a doctor about a person's personality? To me the tests were incredibly boring and often repetitive.

The ink blots I remembered reading about once. How what a patient says he or she sees in the pictures is supposed to tell the Doctor about their patient's personality. So if I say I see lots of animals and floating adding machines, I'm both gay and a homicidal maniac?

I may joke, but I took all of this seriously. My goal was to resume a normal life again. Even if I were a woman now. I wanted most of all to be a parent to Adam and Brittney and that was my biggest motivation.

On Wednesday I got to meet another doctor, the woman entering the room would be described best as a plane Jane. She wore her blonde hair very short and had big rimmed glasses.

"Hello Captain McGee, my name is Dr. Ilana Mandel."

"Hello Doctor. I remember your husband from last week. He told me I'd be seeing you."

"Take a seat Captain," Dr. Mandel told me. We were in the same room as I had seen her husband. "Yes my husband and I sometimes see the same patients."

"I liked the doctor."

"That's good. A patient needs to build a repartee with their doctor."

I was already getting good vibes about this Dr. Mandel. "Ask away anything you want doctor."

Dr. Mandel took a few moments to get settled in at the table. Like her husband she would be keeping notes during her interview of me. "I'm a psychologist who specializes in helping those with gender identity issues."

"Yes Dr. Mandel told me that. I certainly have some ISSUES."

"That's understandable Captain. As part of my work I sometimes also work with a patient's family."

"You've talked to my wife and children already then?"

"Yes I did."

"Adam and Brittney visited me here on Sunday."

"Yes I know. They are wonderful children." Dr. Mandel told me.

"Thank you. How are they doing? I mean Brittney and Adam and what they think of what happened to me." I was interested in the Doctor's opinion of Adam and Brittney. They had seemed so easy to accept what had happened to me. I was worried my children may have accepted too easily and could possibly have issues with happened to their father. Much like I had issues with my gender change.

"Adam and Brittney are doing remarkably well. They do love you very much."

I was pleased to hear that. "Yes they told me that back on Sunday. But doctor, they seemed to not have a problem with what happened to me. They were even calling me Mom."

"Yes they do appear to be coping well with what happened."

"I will get to see them again?"

"Of course. I don't know when, you should ask one of the people here to find out for you." Dr. Mandel said. "Your wife would also like to see you."

'I'm sure Linda does. But I don't want to see her.' I mused to myself. "Doctor I am not ready to talk to Linda right now."

"As you wish Captain."

"I'm ready doctor. Ask anything you want."

"First tell me about yourself. From when you were a child up till when you used the machine."

I then told Dr. Mandel my life story. She quietly listened while taking notes just like her husband did. Dr Mandel didn't ask questions and seldom spoke as I told her of my life up till September 19, 1997.

"You used the box for the first time on the 19th?"

"Yes but I only used it that one time." Just one time and I get to live life as a woman for the rest of my natural life. "I really should have known better and never used it."

Dr. Mandel looked like she was sympathetic. "You have said earlier your wife Linda prompted you into using it."

"Yes but she never threatened me or anything."

"Why did you use the machine?"

I sat quietly for a few moments as I stared at my finger nails. The other day Brittney said I really should do something about them. "Curiosity. Linda showed me what it could do and I had to see it for myself."

"Did you choose to become a woman or did Linda do it for you?"

"Linda did."

"Did you object in way at all to allowing yourself to be transgendered?"

"No I didn't object."

"Can you tell me why?"

"I suppose I didn't believe the machine would really work. It was so incredible that some thing could do this. Like it was a dream."

"There was no other reason?"

"No I just went along with what my wife brought up. To humor her."

"Did you ever have a desire in your life to be a woman?"

"No."

"Not even fantasized it or dreamed of it?"

"No never."

"Did you ever play in like your mother's clothes when you were young?"

"No."

"Have you ever worn any article of women's clothes in your life?"

I paused. "There was once."

"Please explain."

"When I was in high school there was what they called Senior Slave day. The seniors bought the juniors in an auction during homecoming week. The senior who bought me had me wear a cheerleader's uniform for that day."

"That's it then?"

"Yes Doctor."

Dr. Mandel scribbled some more notes before continuing. "Captain some of the following questions may seem rather personal. I'm not implying anything when I ask them. All I'm trying to do is understand you better while at the same time maybe helping you do the same."

"No problem. Ask whatever you choose, I'll be honest in my answers."

"Did you ever engage in sex with another man?"

"No."

"Did you ever fantasize about it?"

"No never. Never thought about it once."

"As a man you were totally heterosexual in preference?"

"Yes."

"Did you ever read or buy magazines like Penthouse, Playboy or Playgirl?"

"Playboy a few times."

"Have you ever viewed pornography on the internet?"

"No."

"Have you ever in your life watched pornographic movies or videos?"

"Yes I have." I confessed to the doctor. She showed little reaction to any of my answers. Dr. Mandel appeared to be totally professional like her husband.

"These videos showed people having intercourse?"

"Yes they did."

"Approximately how many times in your life did you watch such movies or videos?"

I thought for a few moments. "Four or five times maybe."

"Were all these videos or movies always about a man and a woman?"

"No."

"Explain."

"One time here at Camp Casey, a guy in my unit got this Chinese or Korean video" I began telling the doctor. This interview was almost like going to confession at this point. "About five or six of us watched it. There were scenes in it of two women making love to one another."

"A lesbian porn video?"

"Yes. This film had a story too but I think me and the guys were more interested in the sex than the story line."

"On a scale of zero to ten with zero being not the least bit interested and ten being very interested, rate your interest in the following." Dr. Mandel instructed me.

"Ok, shoot."

"A porn video of two men having intercourse."

"Zero."

"A man and a woman?"

"Three."

"Two women?"

"Six."

"So I'd be correct in saying you'd be more interested in a lesbian porn video than a heterosexual one."

"Yes I would," I told the doctor. "The only time I ever watched a video like that was that one time at Casey."

"When was that?"

"Last January or it might have been early February. Not long after I arrived in the ROK."

"What was your reaction to watching that video?"

"It was hot. I mean two women making out together. Both the women were pretty or even beautiful which probably made it more exciting." I explained.

"Anything else you remember about watching it?"

"Just that the guys and I sometimes hooted and hollered during the sex scenes. None of us were getting our rocks off or anything."

Dr. Mandel showed no reaction to my last comment. "Captain nothing you can say will offend me. I want you to be totally candid."

"I am just that doctor."

"Now Captain think this over carefully. Could that video that you watched have possibly influenced your thinking when you used the machine?"

"Do you mean if it made me want to like see what lesbian sex was like?" I asked back.

"Yes that is what I mean."

I thought for a few moments before answering the question. "It could have. I don't think I was thinking about it at the time. Maybe it did affect me."

"On the subconscious level?"

"Yes I suppose so." What the doctor said before was right. These questions were making me examine myself and what I did back on September 19th and why I had done it.

"You said before you had no desire to be a woman."

"I don't or didn't. But maybe just that one time I wanted to see what sex was like as a woman. With another woman I mean. I guess I could of wanted to find out how it felt as a female getting off with another woman."

Dr. Mandel nodded her head. "Captain it's not an uncommon male fantasy at all."

"Really? I thought it would be."

"One survey or study once put it as high as thirty-two percent of men have had the same desire or fantasy you did."

"I guess I don't feel so crazy after all." I said with a nervous laugh. "Now I get to be that fantasy the rest of my life."

"Ms. Song Lee Oh?"

"Yes that's her. I've seen the woman on television and I mean you probably couldn't tell us apart at all. That's not all Linda did to me either."

"You mean your ability to speak Korean?"

"Speak it, read it, even sound like I was born there. Linda did a piece of work on me all right." I told the doctor. "Linda made me into this woman's total double."

"Captain we'll discuss that more later," Dr. Mandel said back to me. Apparently she wanted to discuss certain topics now and others at a later timeor day. "Did either you or your wife express this desire before you stepped inside?"

"No. Actually after I used it was when Linda began coming on to me. I resisted at first. She wanted to do me so badly and I got a bit scared. It all happened rather quickly."

"Linda did say you resisted her."

"Yes I did at first but I caved in or submitted to Linda's advances. If you call it that."

"You enjoyed the sex you had with your wife?

"Yes very much."

"You want to explain what you enjoyed about it?"

I probably blushed right then. The doctor was trying to help me and so far I felt Dr. Mandel was succeeding. "Since you want to know....."

My session with Dr. Mandel lasted for about five hours. That didn't include a one hour lunch break. There were also two ten minutes breaks.

It was a good session. First I felt comfortable with the Doctor Mandel. She was a good listener and not judgmental. The doctor was a very good questioner also. Dr. Mandel really made me do some serious soul searching while answering her inquiries.

Virtually everything that had happened in the last five weeks came up. Nothing was taboo either. I gave explicit and detailed descriptions of the sex acts Linda and I performed on one another. At one point during that stage of the interview I began to get hot and bothered very sexually aroused. That's how intense these memories were as I retold them back to the doctor.

I did get to vent some of my frustration and anger about my treatment from Linda to Dr. Mandel. I had accepted partial fault in what had happened to me but I couldn't easily forget some of the treatment I got from my wife. Particularly how Linda didn't tell the agents the truth at first. That is still gnawing at me right now and I have tremendous difficulty forgiving it. What was Linda thinking of?

"Your wife may have made an error in judgment." Dr. Mandel told me on hearing my side of what happened on October 4th.

"Error in Judgment?" I asked in disbelief. This was the only time during the interview I got annoyed or angry with the doctor. "Here we were I'm stuck as woman, AWOL from army and in need of help and Linda didn't feel it necessary to tell these people."

"Some people do have their pride." Dr. Mandel observed.

"No doctor it had nothing to do with pride. It was all about control. I wouldn't be surprised if Linda had wished from the moment I came out of the box that I'd be like this the rest of my life. Linda didn't want to risk anyone or any thing changing that." I told Dr. Mandel. She then told me we would talk more about this in subsequent sessions.

After that there wasn't all that much to cover. The interview then began to wind down.

"Captain I think we're about finished for the day." Dr. Mandel said as she put down her pen.

"I guess I'll be seeing you again Doctor. Is that correct?"

"Yes Captain. As long as you need my help, we'll continue our doctor-patient relationship."

"Then I'm going to be here for quite some time then."

"Frankly I don't think so Captain," Dr. Mandel told me. "Sorry if I am presumptuous but I feel we had a very good session today."

"I think so too Doctor. Thank you for seeing me."

"You're quite welcome Captain. I do think you are better adjusted to your new reality than you may be admitting."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Therefore I think your stay here may be much shorter than you anticipate."

"The end of the year? Early next year?"

"At the very worst and quite possibly much sooner. The most important thing is that you need to feel ready to live again outside this facility."

"I understand what you mean."

"1998 can be a fresh start for you. A new year..."

"A new life." I said as I interrupted the doctor.

"Yes a new life. Captain I think if you consider everything you have at this moment, you'd conclude that there is much more good than bad in your life right now."

"Like what?"

"You're very healthy, even in perfect health. These machines do that for their users."

"A healthy woman."

"Yes a healthy woman. You are both attractive and well educated. These will be extremely useful for you as you move on from what happened last September."

"I guess so."

"Then there is the matter of your children. To Brittney and Adam you are still their parent and they love you without question."

"Yes I have to admit I am blessed there." I told the doctor. The memory of the prior weekend causing a flood of emotions for me. "Brittney and Adam still love me. I'm not even their father anymore."

"I beg to disagree Captain. You did undergo a physical change and your children acknowledge that. That didn't change the fact you are still their parent. To Brittney and Adam nothing has changed in that regard."

I was choking back tears now as I recalled the love and affection Brittney and Adam showed me the prior weekend. "Right now I miss them terribly. They love me but I can't help feeling I failed them."

"Captain, parenting is not an exact science. I'm a mother of two children. A teenage girl and a son now in college. We do the best we can, sometimes it succeeds, and sometimes it doesn't."

"I really let them down in this instance. They had a father, and now they don't."

"We'll talk more about this Captain. One last plus in your life is your wife Linda. She still loves you very much and hopes you two can continue life together. Most transgendered patients of mine don't that kind of support from their spouses."

"Most of them didn't change their spouse's sex either."

"No most haven't. Linda still does you."

'Oh I'm sure Linda is just licking her chops waiting for me right now.' I thought to myself. "Doctor I don't know if I want to continue on living with Linda. When I get out of here I may prefer to start life on my own."

"I was just pointing this out Captain," Dr. Mandel said to me. "We can talk about all of these subjects at future sessions."

"Ok doctor. I guess I have to accept the facts and face the rest of my life as a woman."

"There is another alternative," Dr. Mandel told me and I asked what that was. "There is Female to male sexual reassignment surgery."

"You mean a sex change? I thought only men became women by surgery."

"No, actually the percentage of those getting SRS is almost even between men and women with men just slightly more common."

"So what is this surgery like?"

Dr. Mandel gave me a rundown. A woman would begin by taking male hormones. Some of the surgeries included a mastectomy and a hysterectomy. It just wasn't one procedure.

"How successful is all of this? I mean it wouldn't seem to me one could make a man's set of equipment down there with what I have now." I said back to the doctor.

"No the surgery wouldn't reconstruct you in the way you're thinking."

"I guess it's easier to make a pole into a hole rather than a hole into a pole."

Dr. Mandel smiled for a second. As always she was unfazed by anything I said. "Very true Captain."

"I guess my choice is either to be a Korean female sex bomb or a very effeminate Korean man who has no balls."

"Crude but probably true Captain."

"Have you had patients who had this surgery?"

"Yes and many are pleased with the results. If you would like I can bring you two books that would help inform you on the subject."

"Sure doctor I would appreciate that."

"I believe my husband is seeing you tomorrow. I'll let him bring them for you."

"Thank you. I guess I have time to decide what I want to do."

"Yes you do Captain. We all have to make decisions in our life. Some we rather prefer not making. I think you are astute enough to know that already."

I nodded my head. "You're right doctor. I guess I have to face up to the new facts of life. Make my own choices and decisions about how I want to live it."

Dr. Mandel nodded. "We all have to make decisions. Some are painful but necessary. Usually the best course is make you're decision then to stand by it. Not to second guess it."

"I think you're right doctor."

"One last thing. I would suggest you keep a journal and make it retroactive back to the day you used the machine."

"You mean keep a diary?"

"Yes a diary. It is the same thing as a journal. The reason I suggest this is that by writing down everything that happened you may at the same time self-examine yourself."

"Like I did today during our talk."

"Correct. Captain I think keeping this journal will allow you to better understand yourself and what you wish to do with your life. You'll still have your sessions with me and my husband."

"Ok Doctor."

"I think we're over for the day," Dr. Mandel said as we both stood up. "Don't despair Captain, we're here to help you."

"I won't doctor. My children need me." Then Doctor Mandel and I shook hands before she left the room.

That pretty much brings us up to date. Shortly after the session ended I learned Brittney and Adam would be coming the following Saturday for a visit. Maybe I'll ask FD if my children could come here tomorrow night so I can take them trick or treating. What do I have to lose? All I can be told is no.

Dr. Mandel returned today. Not the wife, but the husband. We had another long and productive session. I talked about the hurt I been feeling since last September. I've really become comfortable with these doctors. They are here to help me.

As promised I was given those books on sex change surgery from female to male. I plan on reading them. The doctor is right I have decisions I need to face up to and make.

October 31st 1997

Dearest Jack,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits. Since I am unable to visit you, I gave this to Brittney in hope you would take time to read this letter.

If the children haven't told you, we're living in an apartment in Bethesda Maryland. The same people who are caring for you are footing our bills. So Adam and Brittney nor I are wanting for nothing. We live very simply, nothing extravagant. The children and I are just waiting for you to be well again so we can have a homecoming.

At present I'm home schooling Brittney. I didn't see putting her in school yet as wise. Life is much too unsettled right now. Brittney can start at a regular school in 1998.

I think you would be proud to know Adam is fully potty trained now. He takes so much after you. I can't help but see you every time I look at Adam. Also Adam is always asking about you, so does Brittney. Their love for you hasn't changed.

Jack, my love for you hasn't changed. I still love you. I'm sorry for my part in what happened last month. You have the right to be angry with me. I was terribly wrong.

But I hope you can forgive me in your heart. Please give me a second chance. I will be the wife you want. You're still my husband; I love the person who is inside you. My sincere hope is we continue to be partners in life and more importantly co-parents to Adam and Brittney. We all still love you very much.

Jack we all want to help you through this difficult phase. Don't ever forget that, we are here for you. Have fun with the children this weekend. If you want to talk, the people where you are know my telephone number and I'll come right over.

Your loving wife,

Linda

It was the morning of November 1st and I was musing on what to do in regards to my wife Linda when I got an idea. At the time Brittney, Adam and I were playing video games in my room.

"Children can you excuse me for a minute."

"Sure Mom." Brittney said taking her attention away from the game was playing for only a moment. I had grown used to being called Mom by my two children even while I still coped with the issues of my transgendered state. My children's love was what was sustaining me.

Stepping out of the room I went to find one of the orderlies who kept on eye on or cared for me. The refrigerator freezer that went by RT was seated in an employee break room when I found him.

"RT can I ask something?" The big man nodded in reply. "Could it be possible for me to take the children into town? Maybe visit a Wal-Mart or K-Mart and go to lunch too?"

The orderly stopped eating for a moment. "I'll have to check first."

"Thanks." I said before going back to the room and my children.

A little over an hour later I got my reply. We would be permitted to go out. So I got Adam and Brittney ready. As soon as this was done, we climbed into an SUV and with RT driving the children and I went into town.

It was a dreary early November day but I was so happy to get out. This was only the second time I had been off the facility's grounds since my admission. The night before had been the first.

With Orderly MDG driving us, Adam, Brittney and I were taken into a residential area of Front Royal on Halloween night. With my son dressed as a vampire, and my daughter dressed as Pocahontas, I took them trick or treating to about twenty-five homes. It felt good to be out as a parent with my children and Adam and Brittney enjoyed the time too. Afterwards my son and daughter spent the night with me at the facility eating candy and watching horror movies.

Today's outing would be even better. Our first stop was at a Burger King where I had lunch with my children. Adam and Brittney both had cheeseburgers and fries, while I ate a fish sandwich. All while doing this we talked and joked like any family spending a day out on the town.

As we ate lunch and talked I could feel a real bonding taking place between me and Adam and Brittney. When I was still a man, it had been Linda who raised Adam and Brittney. I was the provider, the one who put food on the table. But because of my work in the Army I was often an absentee parent.

Now today I'm out with my children and doing something as ordinary as lunch. It felt incredible. Right then there was no place I rather have been, male or female, just a parent enjoying a day out with her children. Adam and Brittney were enjoying it too. I was now realizing what I had missed up to this time in my children's lives.

That only made me more determined to pull myself together and get out of the facility. Adam and Brittney needed me and I needed them. There was still one obstacle.

"Mom, when will you come home so we can all live together?" Brittney asked.

"Soon Princess." I told my daughter. My determination to be living with and raising my children couldn't have been stronger.

"We will have our two Mommies then." Adam blurted out. The boy was almost three but bright for his age.

I then put down my fish sandwich. If only life could be that simple for the three of us. There was so much pain I felt from how Linda treated me, that I was certain I'd prefer life as a single woman rather being my wife's sex object.

The dilemma I had was how this would affect Brittney and Adam? Would I be right to take them away from their mother? Linda's actions over the last six weeks had me questioning whether she was fit to raise her own children.

I decided to ask a question. "Do either of you miss Dad?

Adam didn't answer. He seemed to regard his French fries as more important. Instead Brittney answered. "A little Mom."

"I really wish I was still your father now."

Then Adam said something most interesting. "You are our Mom Jackie."

"Mom Jackie?"

Brittney answered my question. "That's what Mom said we'd call you after you come home."

Out of the mouths of babes again. Brittney's last statement had told me an awful lot. Linda wanted me back alright but under her terms. This wasn't love, it was pure manipulation.

It was the Mom Jackie name that bugged me. If Linda and I stayed together as two women, both of us being called just 'Mom' would be confusing. But why was I Mom Jackie and she Mom? I was just as much responsible biologically for Brittney and Adam as Linda.

Then there was Linda picking out my female name. She assumed if I answered to Jack as a man I wouldn't mind the name Jacqueline or Jackie as a woman. Linda assumed wrong, I'd rather be the first Korean woman named Ralph than answer to a name picked out by Linda for me.

My bitterness towards Linda was raised a few more notches. She loved me, but only as a way of pleasing her sexual fantasy turned reality. Linda wanted to control me and now I was certain about wanting nothing more to do with her.

The big issue would be the children. I'd be separating them from their mother. This could also turn nasty. I had read or heard of custody battles between warring parents and I was under no illusion Linda could turn vindictive if she wanted to.

No I had to get the children away from this woman. Linda had gone out of her mind. Not just with me but the episode with the Pike woman and I had even heard how my former Academy Classmate Steve Powers had been put through the wringer.

I couldn't trust Linda anymore. It was horrible my marriage had come to this, but I had to get Adam and Brittney away for their own well being.

For now I decided not to ruin the wonderful day the children were having. I did resolve to take action so I controlled my life and Adam and Brittney's and not have Linda doing it.

After lunch, Brittney, Adam and I went to Kmart under the watchful eye of RT. The purpose of my visit was to get some clothes. I was about to indulge in some women's clothes shopping as unbelievable as it seemed.

There was a good reason for this. I hated the clothes I had been furnished by the facility I was staying at. Either they were hospital gowns or looked like Salvation Army rejects. I wanted some of my own clothing, not clothes that looked like they had a previous owner.

We quickly ran into a problem. It was Adam. The boy wasn't keen on shopping with his mother and sister. Then RT came up with a solution.

"There's an arcade five doors down. I can take your boy there if you want."

"Can we Mom?" Adam asked. He was very eager to get away from the department store.

I thought for a few seconds. RT was really a stranger to me but he worked for the people who were seeing to my care. Already I was starting to think like a protective mother towards her children. Adam was too enthusiastic to say no to. "Go ahead, have a good time."

Once RT and Adam were off on their way, Brittney and I began our shopping excursion through the women's clothing department. Just like a mother and daughter would. It also didn't take long for the two of us to get caught up in the uniqueness of this trip for me.

All I wanted to do was pick out some pants and blue jeans with around eight blouses. When I started I thought this would a simple affair but Brittney at once started giving her vote of approval or disapproval to the clothing I was looking at. Now besides being a woman I had a five-year-old daughter for a fashion consultant. I wasn't complaining in the least, rather I was enjoying this time out with Brittney.

I think we spent about two hours in the clothing, foundations and shoe departments in all. Going from rack to rack, looking, discarding, and picking one blouse out here, a pair of pants there. In the end I bought eight blouses, 6 pairs of pants and 2 sets of blue jeans plus a sweat shirt and pants. All of this necessitated several trips to the dressing room for me to make sure they all fit.

Slowly I got my clothing I wanted and the shopping cart I pushed began to fill. On two occasions I refused Brittney's suggestions to look at some dresses or skirts.

"Mom you would look super in this skirt." Brittney said as she held out a white skirt for me. I then put it back on the rack.

"Princess your father now Mom isn't ready to wear a skirt," I told Brittney and then smiled. "Thank you any way. I appreciate all your help."

"I love you Mom." Brittney told me and then we shared a mother-daughter hug.

The last parts of the store we visited were foundations and shoes. I got four packs of women's undergarments, plus eight 34b bras. Also I bought two night gowns and two sets of pajamas. After this I went to the shoe department. Practicality was the rule there like the rest of the store. I turned up picking two sets of shoes, neither had heels. Plus one set of sneakers.

I did cave in to one item Brittney picked out, that was a pair of pink slippers. Who'd have thought Jack McGee would be wearing a pair of women's pink slippers size six?

RT and Adam were back by now. They went to the electronics dept to look at some videos while Brittney and I finished up.

Brittney and I were almost ready to call it a day when my daughter made one last plea. "Come on Mom, try this on. You'll look pretty in it."

My daughter was holding up a peach colored dress for me. Brittney looked so excited at me. She kept urging me to try it on. I then took the dress from my daughter.

"It says size four." I said reading the clothing label on the dress.

"Come on Mom, try it on. You'll look pretty in it." Brittney said again urging me on.

There was a mirror nearby and walked over to it taking the dress with me. Holding it in front of me, I tried picturing myself wearing it. After a few moments I concluded Brittney had a point.

"Ok Princess, I'll try this one on and if it fits I'll buy it. But just this one!" I told Brittney who then became very excited. Then we both went to the nearby dressing room.

The dress did fit perfectly and I decided to buy it. Two more purchases had to be made for this particular clothing, a slip and same panty hose. That done, Brittney and I rendezvoused with Adam and RT and then went to check out of the store

Saturday was the best day I had since using that infernal machine. The reason being my children were with me and I enjoyed every minute of the time we had. The day was just far too short because after having dinner with me, Adam and Brittney were taken back to their other Mom. I cried as I waved goodbye to them.

After a boring Sunday spent watching NFL football, Monday would be the day I began to inform those caring for me of my future plans. I was hoping they would be able to assist me.

During my Monday evening session with Dr. Ilana Mandel I told the psychologist my about my true feelings towards my wife Linda. The doctor asked her usual probing questions but didn't try to discourage me in any form.

"Doctor I take at least partial blame for what happened to me," I told Dr. Mandel firmly. "But my wife Linda has gone loony tune. What she did with me, The Pike woman and her husband. You must have heard about that?"

"Yes I have." Dr. Mandel said.

"Because of that they put a friend of mine through a living hell. His wife died and then he thinks she had come back from the dead," I said as I shook my head. "I've got to take control of my life and look out for the welfare of Brittney and Adam."

"Even if that means they will be separated from their biological mother?"

"Doctor this isn't personal between me and Linda. She has shown a reckless disregard to too many people's lives of late. I don't trust her with the children any more. Can I get some help in this matter?"

"Captain I will speak to some people in regards to what you wish to do. They will most certainly try to get you the legal assistance you will need."

"Thank you doctor."

"You must know that we can't make any promises as to whether you'll get custody of your children."

"I understand that."

Dr. Mandel scribbled a few notes to herself. "Now I'd like us to talk some more in regards to what you like and dislike about being a woman."

"Ok doctor."

"What is it that you like most?"

This I had to think about for a minute. "I don't know if there is a part I do like most."

"You have told me how you enjoyed female to female sex with your wife?"

"Yes I did like that."

"Is that what you like most?"

I shook my head. The answer had finally come to me. "No that isn't. It was the time I spent on Friday and Saturday with Brittney and Adam."

"Being a parent with your children?"

"Being a mother to my children," I said as a smile formed on my face. My memory of the past weekend still fresh in my mind. "Brittney and I had a fun time shopping at Kmart picking out clothes for me."

"You're wearing some of those clothes now?"

"Yes I am."

"They look good on you." Dr. Mandel commented.

"Thank you. Brittney helped pick them out for me. I am blessed to have such a wonderful daughter."

"Yes you are. Brittney has told me how much she loves you. Adam also."

"That's why I need to get them away from their other Mom."

Dr. Mandel got our talk back on track. "You said you enjoy being a mother to Brittney and Adam."

"Yes I do."

"Some would say you are not the mother in this case. You aren't biologically related to the children anymore.

I shook my head but knew where Dr. Mandel was going. "My opinion, I think any woman can be a mother to a child."

"Explain?"

"Take for instance an Adoptive mother. They aren't their children's biological relative but they love the child as if they were related to oneanother. I think the love grows in their heart instead of their womb.

Dr. Mandel smiled briefly. "You want to do the same with Brittney and Adam?"

"Yes I do very much. I want to be the parent or the mother they deserve."

The psychologist nodded. "You have discovered something you like about your new gender."

"Yes I have. A mother nurtures their children. I don't mean just feed, bath and things like that. But give them emotional support, love, protection. Give children a set of values too to serve as their basis to grow as people."

"I agree with you Captain."

"I have decided I want to be Adam and Brittney's mother," I told Dr. Mandel. "You know I read those books you gave me. Surgery is not an option for me."

"I think you'll make a good mother Captain."

"Thank you. I'll try my best to be the mother Brittany and Adam deserve. "

"I know you will Captain," Dr. Mandel said then checked her notes. "What are the bad points for you as a woman?"

"My period isn't any fun. I also miss the camaraderie I had when in the Army."

"You could perhaps still remain in the army."

I really laughed now. "Would that be the US or the Korean army doc? No even if I could I can't. If I'm going to go alone as a single parent and mother to Brittney I need to be there for them. Give them stability. I wouldn't be able to do that and be in the Army."

"Have you given much thought to what you will do after you leave here?"

"Teach maybe. An engineering job perhaps." I said with a slight shrug. "You know after ten years of being an active duty soldier its hard thinking about being a civilian now. But I know that's what lays ahead for me."

"Sometimes we have to move on."

"Yes I think so." Dr. Mandel talked for another hour that night before our latest session ended. Afterwards I returned to my quarters and read till I was tired. Then I turned off the light and went to sleep.

On Thursday of that week I had two more visitors. A woman named P and a lawyer named Roy. That's R-O-Y. It was always amusing how the people who cared for me seemed to come out of some alphabetical soup.

My visitors that day were here in regards to my custody plans for Adam and Brittney. For about an hour we discussed why I wanted custody and how we would go about it.

"It could be ugly Captain if your wife decides to contest it." The lawyer told me.

"Understood sir." I was expecting a fight from Linda but I had to fight. Adam and Brittney's welfare was at stake. "Will you be representing me?"

"No this isn't my field of law. You'll need an attorney specializing in Family Law."

P spoke up next. "We'll assist you in getting one Captain."

We spoke a little bit further, and then ROY left the room. "Captain I would advise you to try speaking to your wife on your own. Do you want us to arrange a visit by her?"

I paused for a few moments. "Yes, go ahead. I'd prefer if the children aren't present when their mother and I talk."

"We can do that," P replied. "You may also want to talk to the children. Tell them what your intentions are."

I knew telling the children wouldn't be easy. They were hoping me and their other mother would continue on. What I would be telling them would be heartbreaking but I had to do it. "I will Ma'am."

"Captain I have to ask you a few questions," P said and I said go ahead. "You are no longer interested in pursuing your Army career?"

"No Ma'am I am not."

"Second thing, I need you to choose a name for yourself."

I knew this was coming but hadn't given much attention to the matter. John Patrick McGee was hardly suitable as a name for me any more. "This would be for my new identity, correct?"

"Yes Captain it would. We need to create a history or legend for you and this may take a few weeks."

"I know what a legend is," I told P. "And I appreciate all your help. Could I have a few days to think this over?"

"Certainly. Inform FD on Monday what name you have chosen."

"I will. I've heard the bureau or whoever you work for will assist me when I come out."

"Yes Captain we will. Job Placement, monetary help to get you on your feet and assistance with housing are just a few of the ways we'll help you." P explained to me. "I may even have a position for a smart person like yourself in our S&T dept. Would you be interested?"

That was intriguing. Going to work trying to learn more about the machines that so altered my life. Maybe even reverse what had been done to me. "Yes I would."

"I'll have to look into it Captain," P said rising from her seat. "We're glad you're getting better and we'll do all that's possible to assist you."

"Thanks Ma'am." Then after shaking my hand, P left the room.

"What names have you in mind?" Dr. Ilana Mandel asked me at our Friday night counseling session. I had told her about my needing to choose a new name and was now seeking out Dr. Mandel's advice.

I had already given it some thought. "Johnson is the name I picked out for my last name. It was my grandmother's maiden name."

"How about a first name?"

First names hadn't been so easy. I did manage to whittle the possibles down to four. "I'm thinking about Patricia, Kimberly, Jennifer and Caroline."

"Those are good choices."

"I may pick a combination of two of them. One for my first name and one for my middle. Like Jennifer Kimberly Johnson."

"Have you given any consideration to a Korean name?

"No I haven't."

"It is part of your new identity. How many people will perceive you as."

"Yes you got a point," I told Dr. Mandel. That morning my period had arrived and I was feeling a little crappy but tried not to let it affect my session with the doctor. I was now learning why Linda was so moody at her time of the month. I was VERY moody at the moment. "I'm just not familiar with many Korean women names. I know some last names."

"Captain you're allowed internet access here. Just do a Korean baby girl name search. You'll find the answers you want. This is just some advice; you can pick whatever name you wish."

"Thanks doctor," I told Dr. Mandel. I appreciated her counseling and suggestions. "Now I just wish I could lose this voice of mine."

"Why would you want to lose your voice?"

"Sorry I meant this accent I have. Whatever Linda did, I can't stop talking like this."

"You're being seen by a speech therapist?"

"Yes I am but it's not doing any good. I've done everything the therapist told me, but no matter how much I try pronouncing words different it comes out sounding like I was born in South Korea."

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about doctor. It's not your fault. Guess I got to live with this too. Maybe a Korean name would be more appropriate."

Like all my talks with either Dr. Mandel I felt stronger and more confident at the end. I would soon be ready to face the outside world. As a woman and if allowed, as a mother too.

Sunday dinner was showdown time for me with Linda. Adam and Brittney came over on Saturday morning and we had the whole day with each other. Again we went into town, but this time we went to see a movie and had some ice cream afterwards.

On Sunday morning Adam, Brittney and I all went to Catholic mass together. I took that time to wear the dress I had bought a week earlier. I did look good in it and got one or two glances from men. Being a sex object in men's eyes was something I would have to learn to accept.

I didn't tell Brittney or Adam what was about to go down between me and their mother. First, because I wanted to talk to Linda first. Second because I knew my children would be upset. Adam and Brittney were going to be hurt by the breakup of their parent's marriage and it was unavoidable. I just wanted to postpone this pain as long as possible.

Linda arrived around 5:30 on Sunday afternoon. Adam and Brittney were already gone and were in the care of a baby sitter back in Bethesda Maryland. I was watching football when my wife arrived and we just made small talk till dinner was served shortly after 6 p.m.

"I've chosen a new name by the way."

"What is it?" Linda asked as we both ate our dinners.

"Jeoun Mi Cheung." I told Linda. Doing what Dr. Mandel suggested I had spent two hours online Friday after our session was over. After much thought, I had narrowed my choices down to Jeoun Mi Cheung or Soo Mi Park. Right this minute I had decided on the former.

Linda smiled. "I like that name. Adam and Brittney I'm certain will like it too. They'll have a Mom Jeoun now."

This was as good as time as any to tell Linda. "Linda I want a divorce."

"You want a divorce?"

"Yes. Can't you see we're not a married couple any longer?"

Linda slowly began to get annoyed. "I'm not an idiot you know."

"I never said you were. We aren't husband and wife any more."

"Yes Jeoun I know that. We'll be a lesbian couple and raise the children together." Linda said expressing her plans which were definitely not MY plans. "Adam and Brittney already accept you. You'll be their Mom Jeoun and maybe we'll have a commitment ceremony one day."

"No we won't." I said and then stopped eating so as to look Linda right in the eye.

"We won't what?" Linda also stopped eating. I had her undivided attention.

"We won't be having a commitment ceremony, we won't be any lesbian couple," I told Linda very firmly. With every 'we won't' or 'I won't' I could see her face turning redder by the second. "I won't be Adam and Brittney's Mom Jeoun. What I will be is their mother!"

"You a mother? Don't make me laugh."

"I'm more of a mother to Brittney and Adam now than you are."

"I'm their biological mother. You aren't you dumb bitch!"

Dinner was totally forgotten now as the arguing between me and Linda went up another notch. "There is no way I'm going to let you screw up Adam and Brittney's lives more than you have already!"

"Tell me what I've done to Adam and Brittany?"

"Look at me. I'm not their father any more. I'm a woman. Are you that blind?"

"And who's to blame for that?" Linda asked while she laughed nervously. I knew my wife too well. She'd talk big but was a coward when it really came down to matters. "I didn't put a gun to your head and tell you get in there."

"You could have gotten rid of that machine. Instead of risking everyone's lives."

"Risking everyone's lives?"

"I know what happened with the Pike woman and her husband. Do you think I'm dumb?" I yelled back at my wife. "You were a part of that whole scheme. How many lives were screwed by it?"

"He didn't have to do it either. You guys are such a pair of losers."

"I didn't put a grieving husband through hell like you did with Major Powers!" I told Linda as she shot back daggers at me with her eyes. "You wrecked two families and too many lives. I'm not going to let you do any more harm to Brittney and Adam than you have done already."

The arguing turned very hot and heavy now. Also becoming obscene at times as me and my wife traded insults and barbs across the table.

"You'll get the children over my dead body," Linda said rising from her chair. "I'm not taking any more of your fucking shit. If I get my way, you'll never see Adam and Brittney again!"

Linda then stormed out of the room. I was caught speechless by this. This explosion wasn't unexpected but the possible ramifications were just sinking in. Was Linda capable of what she said or was this a bluff?

My wife hurried out of the building as I watched helplessly. Jumping in a Toyota parked next to the manor; Linda started up the car and drove off. Now what was going to happen not just to me but Brittney and Adam?

Sunday November 9th

What have I done?

Linda was over tonight. I told her my intention to try gaining custody of Adam and Brittney. An ugly row ensued with Linda storming out of here threatening to never let me see my children again.

Right now I am terribly depressed. If not for Brittney and Adam, I wish I was dead.

Nothing Linda does anymore would surprise me. She could take Adam and Brittney and run. I may never see them again.

Now what do I do? I'm scared shitless right now. And I've made a total fuck up of my life, and maybe Brittney and Adam's also.

Tuesday November 11th,

Monday wasn't much better for me. I was gravely depressed and rarely left my quarters for much of the day. FD came by and informed me that Linda and the children were still in Bethesda and being closely watched. This was not much consolation.

I did give FD my new name, Jeoun Cheung. He said it would be used for all the documents I'd get for my new life. The name Jeoun Cheung seems fitting for the new me and that was the biggest reason I picked this name. .

I could be coping better if Adam and Brittney were here to help. If I lose them, my life has little meaning.

On Monday night I had another session with Ilana Mandel. It was not very productive, I either didn't want to talk or cried. I apologized to the doctor for wasting her time. She said I hadn't. Sometimes a person who is hurt just needs someone to be there to listen. Dr. Mandel was right.

Today an attorney came to see me. His name is Bill Young and he will represent me in the fight with Linda for the custody of Brittney and Adam. The man seems competent enough. Mr. Young knows my background and promised to do the best he could do for me but he made no promises.

Doctor Avram Mandel will be here tonight for another session. I don't know if I'll be in any more of a mood to talk then than I was with his wife last night.

"Doctor I feel totally hopeless right now." I told Dr. Mandel. "If Linda gets the children..."

"Don't give up hope Captain."

"I'm not Captain McGee anymore."

"Okay Miss Cheung. There is always a solution to a problems."

"I don't see one right now. Life has no meaning to me without the children."

Dr. Mandel leaned forward in his chair. "All life has some meaning. Do you think there could be a compromise between you and Linda?"

"What kind of compromise?"

"Joint custody maybe. Co-habitation. You parent the children together under the same roof."

"Linda is too screwed up in the head right now," I told Dr. Mandel as I stared down at my finger nails. They probably could have used a filing right now. "Her judgment leaves so much to be desired. Linda is a danger to everyone around her."

"Don't you think you could be too harsh on your wife?"

"Doctor look at how many lives she has fucked up in the last two months, mine, the children, the Pikes..."

"She wasn't totally to blame in any of those incidents."

I nodded my head. "You may be right doctor, but there are just too many errors in judgment. Serious errors."

"Miss Cheung do you think what happened to you could be coloring your opinion of your wife?"

"I'm sure it is Doctor, but I still hold to my opinion of what needs to be done. I got to start life with Brittney and Adam away from their mother."

"It will be very difficult for the children."

"Don't you think I know that Doctor! It's tearing my guts out right now!" I yelled angrily back at the doctor. Then I realized what I had done. "Sorry doctor, I apologize for losing my temper."

"It's quite all right Miss Cheung. You are under a great deal of stress."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Doctor that's the biggest understatement since Colonel Custer said. "Over that hill I think those are friendly Indians."

"I see we're both fans of the Honeymooners."

It was time to laugh again. "Absolutely. My father used to drive a city bus in Rapid City South Dakota."

"My wife and I took the children to Mount Rushmore ten years ago. It's a very lovely place."

"Sure is," I said to the doctor. "One thing that is testing my sanity right now is having nothing to do. I've never been this inactive in my life.

"Captain, I mean Miss Cheung I am going to make a recommendation in regards to that. We'll see if we can find you some work."

"Thank you doctor, I appreciate that." I told Doctor Mandel. "Just a few things, I won't be a hooker, stripper or secretary."

Now Doctor Mandel laughed if only for a second. "I think we can accommodate that request."

"Would I still live here?"

"Miss Cheung, I don't know but someone will look into it."

I nodded my head. Both Doctor Mandels had always been upfront to me and true to their word. "That's fair. Do you think I can see the children again this weekend?"

"We'll do our best."

Doctor Mandel and I talked for another hour. At least for that night the world appeared calm and hopeful again. Just how long would it last?

Adam and Brittney did come the next Saturday and spent the entire day with me. It was a sad affair unlike the happiness of our earlier weekends. Both of my children feeling hurt as they saw their happy family falling apart around them.

I felt so guilty too. Could I put every thing behind me to reconcile with Linda, my children's mother? I was beginning to ask myself that. No there was too much pain inflicted all around to go back to that.

On Sunday night I was told that I would be woken up at 5:30 the next morning. The next day I was going to start a job somewhere but no one had any details. Dressed the next morning in a pink blouse and white pants, I climbed in a SUV driven by someone who called himself RPG. We then drove off together, destination unknown.

After only a brief time on the road I guessed we were headed for Washington D.C. This proved to be correct. I had only been to the nation's capitol once in my life before. When we exited the freeway and crossed the Potomac, I was in uncharted territory.

We were soon driving in one of the seedier parts of town. There were lots of buildings that looked abandoned, condemned or about to be condemned. After a couple of turns we appeared to be in a warehouse area and straight ahead of us was a fence with a gate. After RPG showed some ID we were allowed to pass.

Inside the fenced in area were a series of hangar like structures. It could have been easily mistaken for an airbase or airport except no airplanes or runway were in sight. RPG pulled up to the hanger furthest to the right. There we climbed out of the SUV and went inside.

The inside of hanger was mostly office space. I was taken straight to a room on the upper level and past a receptionist.

"Good morning Jeoun," Said the woman I knew as P. She got up from behind her desk and shook my hand. "I hope the trip in from Virginia was a smooth one."

"Yes it was Ma'am."

P went back around her desk and pushed an intercom button. "KC, tell RAT to come up here."

In the meantime I took a seat across from P. Was this going to be where I worked now?

"Jeoun, I'm a busy woman and I'll cut right to the chase. Are you still interested in working in our S&T department?"

I gave my answer right away. There was still the dream I had of maybe getting changed back. "Absolutely Ma'am."

P then began telling me about the job, the work hours, salary and so on. It wasn't the Army but it wasn't waiting tables either.

"We need to come up with some letters for you."

"Letters?"

"Everyone here goes by a letter or letters," P explained. "We use them in place of a name. It's a tradition here."

I remembered those two agents who went by C and D. Now this is their boss P. I guess it made some kind of sense. "Ok. Is JC available?"

"Unfortunately we have an employee with those letters already."

"How about RME?"

P smiled as she probably guessed what the letters stood for. "Ok, RME it is."

"Do I have to fill out any employment forms?"

"We haven't finished creating your new identity yet. When we do, my administrative assistant KC will bring the paperwork to you."

A knock was soon heard at the door. "Enter." P said.

The man who came into the room was in his late twenties or early thirties. He had Owlish glasses and wore a shirt and blue jeans so old looking that well....they could have dated back to the Carter administration.

"You called for me P."

"RAT, I've hired a new assistant to work with you," P said introducing us. "This is RME, she is starting here today."

I shook RAT's hand as we said hello to each other. The handshake was cold and clammy.

"RAT, I'll let you give RME a tour of the place."

"Follow me then." RAT said to me and I followed him out of the office.

The tour wasn't a long one. I was shown where the bathroom was, the break room etc. The tour ended at what looked like a small laboratory. "So this is it?"

"Yes it is."

"Are we the only ones who work here?" The room was full of high tech equipment and such but was devoid of any other people besides me and RAT.

"No, we're it. Do you play chess by the way?"

"Yes I do. I played in the Armed Services championship two years in a row."

"You must be good then. I'm expert level myself. You used the box didn't you?"

I paused for a second thinking if I should tell this guy the truth. He did work for the agency that helped me since that fateful day. "Yes I did."

"I thought so. People do all sorts of weird shit with these machines." RAT said to me as he showed me around the room. "There is one other person who does some work here like you, LES. You'll probably meet her some time."

"Ok."

"Want a cup of coffee?"

"Sure." Rat then went to a nearby coffee pot and poured two cups. Then we sat down in the lab's office area. The coffee I was given was more than a little bit strong.

"So what's your story?" RAT asked me as sipped his coffee.

"The wife made me into her lesbian sex fantasy."

RAT nodded. "You're that Army officer who was serving in Korea?"

"That's me." I confessed.

"Don't worry your secret is safe," RAT said with a laugh. "You're one of the more normal people who use these boxes. We had a couple of guys in here recently who are now 12 inches tall and female."

I almost gagged on my coffee hearing this story. "I'm very normal then."

"So you want to play a game of chess?" RAT asked. "I got a board around here some where."

The office was as disheveled as my co-worker. I could only imagine where the chess set was. "Don't we do any work around here?"

Rat laughed. "Any work on these boxes is a total waste of time."

"What if P comes down here?" I asked.

"Hell, last week we played backgammon down here for thirty minutes," RAT related to me. "She knows what goes on. If and when we get a box in, sure we do all the tests. Till then we goof off."

"How often are these boxes found?"

"It all depends," RAT said shrugging his shoulders. "Sometimes two or three are found in a matter of days. Another time we went almost three months before one was found."

"All of them already used?"

"Yes except one time."

"You've tried getting them to re-open I assume?"

"Sure have," RAT told me. "Done every thing imaginable to them. Not one has ever re-opened."

"Like what have you done?"

"Dropped them from 40,000 feet, put them at a depth of 30,000 feet under the sea, dropped them in a vat of every known acid there is even dropped a 1,000 pound bomb on one."

"And none of those methods worked?"

RAT shook his head. "Nope not at all. Not even a dent or scratch on any of them. The bomb did make a nice crater in the ground in Nevada though."

I sat there sipping the strong coffee given to me by RAT. My work colleague could very well be right. Still I planned on giving these boxes a try again. Who knows, maybe I'd come up with something they hadn't. Plus I didn't feel it was right to sit around playing chess on the government dole.

"Mind if I give it a try."

"Suit yourself." RAT said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Want some more coffee?"

"No thanks." I said getting up out of my chair. Right then I was grateful RAT wasn't leering at me. The memory of my visit to Camp Casey as a woman still fresh in my memory. "Got a box around here I can work on."

"Sure do," Rat said with a slight chuckle as he rose from his chair. "Got a couple of hundred of them. I'll show you where they are."

I had a better idea first. "You wouldn't have some information or background material on the machines that I can read?"

"Yes we do," RAT said with a nod of his head. "You can even read a few of the case files. At least cases P didn't classify. We're pretty secretive around here. Nobody knows this agency exists but a very small group of people."

RAT showed me to a nearby computer terminal and helped me sign in. Then RAT showed me to a file library.

"Enjoy," RAT told me as I clicked on one of the files. "If you don't mind, I'm going to play some minesweeper."

I had been reading for almost two hours when I decided to ask RAT a question. He was still busy playing computer games on the other PC in the office. "Can I ask a couple of questions?"

"Sure."

"The machines have been found all over the world but in every case just one at a time. Was there ever an instance of where more than one was found in the same spot?"

"No not to my knowledge." RAT said as he continued playing Minesweeper.

"You said before a box was found unused once?"

RAT didn't answer for about ten seconds. "Yes we have but it's classified. I know next to nothing about Pretoria. P is probably the only one who does know the whole story."

"Ok thanks."

*****

To Be Continued in Part Two