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 What will Alana do when grief grips her in a way that it has never done before? 

Chapter Ten ~ Grief

By Ariel Montine

I was still giddy and couldn't stop giggling.  Instead of saying a proper goodbye, I had just waved to the crew of the Voyager as I ported off the shuttle.  When I landed sitting on my bed, Athena, my mother, was there to greet me.  She had been cleaning up after Ariel, who pulled almost everything in her closet out before she had the perfect outfit for her date tonight.

Momma greeted me with a smile and hug, "Little one, why are you in so early.   Your sisters have only recently departed since everyone of them insisted on a shower and change of clothes before they went out tonight and I had the whole slew of young men waiting on them in the living room.  I even gave space to your three new friends, Beth, Tina and Gail who managed to borrow outfits from your sisters for the occasion.  I had not seen either you or your boyfriend Gary so I was worried about you."

"We kinda broke up tonight.   There isn't going to be a Gary anymore and Rachel is already one of my growing group of female friends.   I'm going to help Rachel all I can.", I admitted to Momma, glad that she had seen thru to the heart of my trouble.

"I'm happy for Rachel, dear but that makes it a bit rough on you.  I know you will be looking out of necessity for someone to play the part of your boyfriend but have you considered looking for real love.  These stand in boyfriends have been as rough on you as the real thing without any of the benefits.", said Momma speaking less like a mother and more like a girlfriend at that moment.

"Momma!" I was mortified that Momma would talk to me like that and I had no clue on how to react.

"Well you know what I mean!" Momma tried to make it better but I guess the main problem is that I didn't want to face a real boyfriend yet.

"Do I momma? Do I really?"  I knew the answer but I hoped for a different one.

"Sweet Ums, It must all be rather confusing for you but to me it is perfectly clear.  I am your mother and this is the reality that counts. This is the reality that everyone knows and they all know you as a girl from birth. Your children will bear your genes as you are now just as your genes come from your father and I." Momma explained.

"What about what came before? Should I just let that go?", I asked

"This is the continuity that continues.   All of the memories of that other life are experiences that together make you the woman that you are becoming.  However there is no future in any of that but only the past.  You can remember those times but you can not live there.  You must live in the here and now.  That other life gave you a special relationship with your sister Andrina and you can cherish that since it is past and present together as one.  On the other hand you are blessed with many sisters.  Ariel in particular looks up to you and you two have been close too.  Perhaps the old and the new can come together and both Andrina and you can take Ariel under your wings to be good big sisters to her."  Momma discussed.

"I love Ariel, Momma, honest I do!  I'll include her when I come home.  Its a lot to juggle!" I felt like I was doing my best.

"You have always done well in the past, little one! Is it time to talk of enchantments, yet?" Momma asked.

"Not quite yet, Momma.  I've done alright using what I already know and adding something else hasn't been important yet.  I get so concerned that using my chants may make consequences come as a result so staying with what has worked is comfortable." I tried to explain.

"My child there are consequences to everything that you let loose in the world whether it is a chant or just an ordinary word.  Even with all your abilities, you will not be able to know what results it might bring because the world is a living thing and there are no sure ways to predict what an outcome might be.  In the case where the consequences are directly traced to an earlier action, it has helped me when the action in itself was of benefit not primarily to me but to others. No matter what evil may come, you can still cling to the good even if it only delayed the inevitable, it still is good. " Mother replied

"With all this power can't I stop evil from acting?" I asked with frustration building inside.

"You are only one woman and even with your reach magnified thru your sisters and friends you can only be one place at a time.  Sometimes evil will cast a devastating blow which is unblocked.  That is not the end but a beginning which is true for those struck down as well as they are allowed to start another portion of their journey.  If we give up then evil wins for certain.  If we do what we can for good that is all which is required of us.  The ultimate fate of the struggle between good and evil is in the hands of those above us.  Just for the record, I'm betting on Goddess Danu to ensure that some survive to continue the fight so evil does not win." Momma explained skillfully.  It was clear that Momma khew lots and I could learn a lot from her.

"I guess that is good enough for me.  I guess that breaking up with Gary especially doing it by proxy was rough and facing Archie's Memorial Service tomorrow morning is rough too.  I believe I will go ahead and turn in instead of waiting up for everyone to come back in.  I have a new perspective on it now that we talked.  Thanks Momma!"  I excused myself to go to bed.

"You are welcome sweetheart! Pleasant dreams." Momma lovingly told me.

I went upstairs to mine and Ariel's room.  I showered and put on my nightgown and pulled the covers over me and went to sleep. 

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When I awoke, I saw Ariel sleeping peacefully in her bed so I went into the bathroom quietly and got myself together.  I put on my duster and robe and slippers and went down stairs to see about breakfast.   Momma had not gotten up yet so I started breakfast.  I have this killer recipe for a breakfast casserole that I love to make and I found all the ingredients for it.  After I had prepared the casserole and put it in the oven, I began carving up cantaloupes into bite sized pieces and using the juicer to get some fresh squeezed orange juice ready,  I thought better of taking the time to make home made biscuits and instead popped the seal on some store bought ones and separated them into the baking pan to go into the oven after the casserole came out momentarily.  The casserole came out perfect and I popped the biscuits in while I was about to start setting the table when I saw Ariel in her duster and robe and slippers had beat me to it. 

"Hi Ari! how did your date go last night?", I playfully asked Ariel

"I had a wonderful time and he was a perfect gentleman all night." said Ariel with disapointment

'Were you hoping for some sexy play?  Some guys are so bashful and inexperienced that even though they care about us, it overrides their ability to have fun.  Just like we need time some guys do too.   And then there is always the case like my friend Gary who now is Rachel.  Why not talk to him about it and tell you how you feel.  If it is just being bashful then knowing its something you want should help him." I tried to help.

"Thanks, 'Lana.  I feel better.  You always seem to know the right thing to say." Ariel seemed relieved as she commented.

With the breakfast on the table waiting, My mother, daddy and the rest of my sisters came in and we all gathered round the table.  Everyone enjoyed my casserole and we had a wonderful time around the table at breakfast hearing the highlights that could be shared in public about our dates.  Breakfast concluded and one by one people defected from the table until Momma pointed out that since Ariel and I had prepared and out on the breakfast it would be nice if someone else cleared and cleaned up.  Aquata and Atina volunteered

Soon Ariel and I were on our way upstairs.  I pulled out my long black dress out of the closet and prepared to put it on along with black hose and black 1" pumps.  I fixed my hair and makeup and I saw that Ariel was also ready so we went down to the living room to wait for the rest of us to be ready to go over to the Memorial Service together.  

That morning flew by and we all went to the service together and it was a touching tribute to Archie's memory.  As things turned out it was fortunate that I was only required to be a spectator since I lost myself in my memories and weeping thru the service.  In the end Ariel was able to console me and watch after me as we went to the reception afterward.  I noticed that Andrina was having the same kind of problem as I but Aquata was looking out for her.  Adella was the most public in her grief because everyone knew the relationship that she had with Archie.  Atina was looking after Adella today since Ariel was looking after me. 

As much as I would have liked to duck it after the emotional upheaval, Beth had asked for a meeting with Gail, Tina and I.  I explained things to Ariel and let her know that having her helping me today meant a lot to me.  I had barely arrived when both on open comm. in the room and in my ear, an announcement was taking place given by Archangel.

"Alert! Voyager missing and presumed destroyed.  It did not emerge from the ionization blackout within the expected parameters.   Voyager was reentering on planed approach to land at Vandenberg. I am recalling key people to Agency HQ to consult and formulate a response  Agency out!"  The voice in my ear resumed talking while the announcement in the room stopped.

"Tress from Archangel, I need you to port to HQ to tap your expertise while we sort this out." came the annoucement from HQ

"Archangel from Tress, Porting momentarily once I excuse myself from the staff meeting in progress" I responded

"Understood,  I will expect you momentarily, Tress.  Archangel out!" Michael concluded.

"Everyone, if you will excuse me, I'm being called to HQ.  I want to continue this as soon as we can arrange it." I explained

The ladies all told me good luck and I began to chant and ported myself out to Archangel's office.

"Tress, thank you for being punctual.  I want the staff here to be used to you as one of our models so there is an appropriate outfit in the changing room for you to change into.  Nothing new has come in on Voyager.  I will keep you informed." Michael told me.

I told him," Thank you Archangel.! then I entered the changing room and saw an expensive and sexy outfit with everything that goes with it laid out for me.  I changed into the outfit and came out wondering how Michael would react.  It really seemed to be a bit too revealing but I imagined that at the prices that were paid for that clothing the object was to be sexy instead of covered.

Archangel said to me. "Very, Very nice Tress.  You and your sisters will be amazing as models here.  On to business.  we have  a little more information now.  Voyager's black box survived only because it was ejected clear prior to impact.  From the little data we got it seems that they were struck after the deorbit burn during the blackout. by a missile fired from a submerged sub off the coast of Antarctica  and the launch was not detected because it was in a radar hole.  The only way to protect from it happening again is to have one of our subs patrolling the area where the radar hole is when a shuttle is landing."  

"The individuals who were lost in the explosion were, Col Kathryn Janeway, Major Elaine Torrez, Captain Annika Hansen,  1 Lt Kes Okampa, 1 Lt. Samantha Wildman,  2 Lt Jenny Delaney,  2 Lt. Megan Delaney." continued Archangel.

I was crushed by the news, as I had images of Voyager on its way home being blasted out of the sky from the exposion.  Great sadness welled up within me and I could not help but weep for my fallen friends.  All were taken before their time and all had so much more to give.  I tried my best to compose myself so I could hear the rest of what Archangel had to say.

Archangel explained, "They started a replacement shuttle as soon as Enterprise was shot at the first time.  The military are not fooling around with this one.  It will be a state of the art warship and it will be christened the USS Constitution.  Enterprise is grounded till the threat can be completely eliminated.  They have codenamed the force behind the shuttle attacks, Hydra.  We keep cutting off a head and a new one keeps growing back.  Somehow we have to eliminated Hydra once and for all."

"If only I had known, I could have helped!  Somehow we have to put a stop to Hydra before any more of my friends are killed!",  I exclaimed.

"You'll get your chance because, I'm bringing your team in for training tomorrow then the Georgia Tech Dance Team will start it's foreign tour, in order to find Hydra ." Michael explained.

I responded, "We'll go and we'll be ready!"  Michael saw my grief and frustration but wisely kept silent since nothing he could say would help.

Here I was in Michael's office, sexily dressed to the nines, as a supermodel should.  Somehow, we would need to get the knowledge we would need to be spies when it counted. Soon we would  nation hop on our tour, searching for Hydra and a way to eliminate it.  Archangel was going to bring Zephyr here tomorrow to expose us as a group to something he called Spy 101.  I was concerned that it would not be enough so I was thinking about alternatives to supplement what ever we learned.

Everything came back to what Commander Kathryn had told me about the talents of the ladies that were added to the group.  It was clear that I could not manage without their help and that I would need to delegate part of the load for them to carry.  I got permission from both Archangel and Beth, Tina and Gail for us to hold our meeting here that Archangel had interupted by summoning me to HQ now that things had died down. I had an idea what I would like to happen so I telepathically consulted with each of my sisters and each of them gave their assent.  I was directed to a conference room and ported the three ladies into the room with me.

I began, "Beth, Gail and Tina, thank you for coming.  We have a difficult time ahead and just as my sisters and I must grow into people suited for our new assignment.  I'm suited to help my sisters and I make use of our magic.  Tina is suited for human intelegence.  Gail is suited for technical intelegence.  Beth is suited for operational command.  Beth, you have proven yourself in leading us as coach and now I would like for you to assume command of Zephyr. "

Beth without reservation said, "I accept subject to your sisters and Archangel's approval.  I feel honored that you trust me and I will not abuse that trust."

I told her," I polled my sisters before I asked you and they unanimously support you Beth. So that leaves Archangel, What do you say Archangel?"  Even though Archangel was not present in the room, I was certain that he had heard us.

"I also approve the change and the President has signed off on it as well.  Congratulations Beth! I'll want to meet with you after you are finished with your staff meeting to go over some operational detalls."

'Thank you Archangel.  I'll meet with you directly after we conclude."

"Alana, I'm appointing you faerie leader but since we can't say that very well in reports we'll call you action leader and we will know what kind of action that means.  Tina, I am putting you in charge of human intelegence."

"Thank you Beth" Tina replied

Beth continued, "Gail, I am putting you in charge of technical intelegence."

"Thank you Beth", Gail respoonded   

"Our trip to HQ is being covered by a performance of the Georgia Tech Dance Team.  I'd rather not have to actually do the performance live since that would take so much time away from learning what you need to know.  Alana is it possible that you could cause people within the area selected for the performance to see a realistic performance.  It could be identical to the one that we did at the White House and we could pick an outdoor venue like Yankee Stadium durring the day if that would help."

"I'll have to check concerning implimentation but I feel that I could manage it." I explained.

"Very good, Alana.  We'll all need to meet at the gym at 6 am and we will fly together to New York.  If we dont have to do a real show then we will only take one plane.  Alana, please pass the word on to your sisters about the changes and our trip tommorrow." Beth directed.

"I'll let them know now". I promised

"Guess we are done for now ladies except I want the meeting that Archangel wanted with me to be with all of us present. Come on in Archangel!"  

And Archangel came in immediatly and went over all the things that he had done with me.  The difference was that Beth, Tina and Gail shared their insights which opened up more possibilities.

At one point Gail lamented the fact that we did not have an intact SKUD 7 to study so we could pinpoint exactly where it was made.   I suspected that I might be able to pull a non working one out to study but I would need to get some help so I didn't change a timeline like what happened when I summoned a change in clothing. I hoped Momma could help me with the enchantment. 

Once our business was concluded, I ported Beth, Tina and Gail from the Gym where I snatched them from and ported myself home.  I found Momma and had a lovely discussion with her about the enchantments that I needed and she gave me the new enchantments that would work.  I radioed Beth that I could make the illusion performance occur so we would not have to bring the equipment. 

 Afterward,  I wasted no time changing out of my clothes and slipping into the shower.  I slipped on a nightgown and was underneath the covers, thankful for some respite from the stresses of the day.  I soon fell asleep and began to dream.  Ariel had not made it home yet and she deserved some time for her self after all the help she had given me already to day.  No one, including Ariel, would have a clue that I was mourning Voyager since they had never known it existed so its absence would not leave an empty space.

I was standing on the dock of an ancient harbor.  The architecture of the buildings was very aesthetic but different from any that I had ever seen before.  The colors were all so bright.  I looked and a sailing ship with her sails set and held in place with two anchors that barely was enough to keep it still.  On board at the ship's bow were 7 amazing women who were clothed in Grecian robes and looked stunning as if they were goddesses.  One called to me and I recognized her as Kathy and I also saw  Elaine and the other women of the Voyager.

"Alana, Over here!  Are you come to see us off?" , Kathy called

I told her, " Yes, I guess that is why I am here.  Its good to see you all again even if it is to say goodbye!"

Kathy explained, "Not goodbye but instead wish us a good journey!  We all have spent our life in pursuit of the unknown.  This is just one more unknown country for us to discover."

I sighed and said, "I wish I had been able to do more."

"You did the most important thing, Alana.  You brought us joy and that is a special gift indeed', Kathy answered.

I continued, "I'm glad that I brought that gift.  We intend to do more but that will be more for those who are left than for you ."

"We do have other concerns now as we set sail into the west.  I'd just like to know what it was that after so short a time that my former crewmates had completely given their loyalties to you?", Kathy asked.

I explained, " I gave them each a gift as a token of my love for them that made an impossible dream come true. What it was, was magic!"

Kathy smiled at me saying, " I knew that!", then she gave the order, "Raise anchor and let go the bow and stern lines!" As her ladies took care of the anchor, I unfastened the bow and stern lines and tossed them over onto the sailing ship.

I smiled and waved and called to them," Good journey, Voyager!"  I could hold back the flood of tears no more and collapsed weeping and I heard the last order from Captain Kathy as it made way towards the setting sun, "Set sail for home!"