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Today marks the end of spring and the beginning of summer and just like the changing of seasons I myself have reached a point where I too must make a change. It won't be an easy choice and I find myself at a park near our home siting on a bench lost in thought. I only have a couple of hours before I am due back home and give my girlfriend the decision I have made. "Having a good day?" I hear a soft friendly voice say. I hadn't really noticed the woman sit down at the other end of the bench. "Ohhh, ok, I guess." with hesitation. "You looked so deep in thought I couldn't help but ask." she replied. I half smiled and told her "Well, It's really a long story but I have to make a big choice and I am torn about it." She looked into my eyes and with compassion said "Hey, maybe I can help, my friends tell me I'm a good listener and I have plenty of time this afternoon."

    I did need someone to share my troubles with but If I told her my problem she would most likely either laugh wright at me or run off thinking I was some weird freak or something. I decided to give her a shot. I could always just move to another bench if needed. Besides all I have to do is introduce myself and that will clue her in.

    To all appearances I am a 28 year old female, 5'6" and 1301bs. I have long blond hair just touching my shoulders. I am wearing a summer dress with a belt and a pair of pumps to match. But, in reality I am John a 28 year old male. "I could use an ear" "Let me introduce myself, I'm John." I held my hand out expecting her to gasp. I was shocked when, without the slightest indication of being surprised, she reached and we softly touched then withdrew. She replied "I am Nancy." "I love your outfit, I have a similar one at home." I blushed and told her thanks. "So, John what's been on your mind?" "Nancy, my outfit is a big part of my problem." We both leaned back and I began to tell her my story.

    As a child, at an age too early to remember I had an overwhelming attraction to girl's clothes. My Mother is a very compassionate tender soul and soon caught me red handed borrowing my sister's clothes. She said "honey, you are lucky your father isn't here." "Don't ever let your father see you." "He will be home soon so go change for now." She knew my father would not be understanding at all. He was a good man, a police officer, and very strict. About a week later, I found some girls clothes in my room with a note from her. "Honey, you can keep these and play all you want but only in your room and only when Dad is not home." It was our little secret.

    Without a word from time to time she would drop feminine clothing in my room. This went on throughout my teenage years. She would wash all the clothes if needed and of course Dad never knew because he never came into my room. If he wanted to talk he always called me into the den. I had everything a girl could want. My sister Mary had a hay day blackmailing me and got what ever she wanted from me to keep my secret. She would often tease me calling me a Sissy. I let her, what could I say. She renamed me Lorri whenever I dressed up. She would fix my hair different ways. Pigtails, ponytails, french braid, you name it. Mary would use pink ribbons to tie my hair with and taught me to how to paint my nails. Finally, my childhood days came to an end. It was time to be the man my father expected me to be.

    I left home and got a job. I soon met my first wife. We fell in love and married when I was 20. Our sex life was pretty normal. A couple of years into our marriage I again felt the old urge to cross dress and felt really guilty sneaking around behind her back when she wasn't home. I got the urge about once a month or so and it took 3 more years for her to catch me fully dressed. She had returned home early. I don't know which one of us was more shocked her or me. First she cried, then she got angry. Then I cried and begged. Then I swore I would never do it again. Sadly though she could not live with it. We divorced. Her last words were "you need a man, go find a gay lover." I was ashamed.

    At 25 years old, I started over convinced she had a good point. I couldn't shake the fact that I liked to wear woman's clothing. Even though I never once had a single thought about other men I decided to explore the idea. I headed down to the gay club strip and in a strange way felt accepted. I thought I can't be any more weird than they are. I respected everyone I saw thinking at least they knew who they were and what they wanted. One bar was specifically for drag and you didn't have to be in drag to get in. After four or five weeks of just hanging out and watching the nightly show I decided I wasn't in the wright place. Down the strip were a couple of other bars that were even bigger. One was all men and no drag. The other was all ladies. Everyone was welcome though, so I dropped into the man's bar first.

    I was a bit scared at this point worried that I would be hit on. I went in and sit at the bar. There were guys hitting on each other all over the place. The place was packed. A lot of conversation and laughter. I ordered a couple of drinks and waited. NOTHING?? I thought well maybe I'm not dressed sexy enough. I looked closely at all the clothing around the bar and went shopping. I found some tight pants and a silk shirt and got a great pair of shoes. I tried a butch hair style and returned the next night. NOTHING?? What's up with this? I'm not gay?. I left confused. There was one bar left. I thought I might as well check it out.

    I looked around while I grabbed a drink. There wasn't another man in the whole place. The bartender gave me a strange look. This was no man's land but I was thinking that since I did wear woman's clothes I kinda deserved to be there. At the ladies bar they all sit at tables instead of standing around like the guys. There was always at least four women at each table. Some of the ladies looked pretty butch like the bartender and some were really dolled up. There was a dance floor. I was getting aroused big time. Unlike the men the ladies never seem to turn a head at least I couldn't catch one. I decided I would go for it and picked a table that had some knock down gorgeous women.

    They were polite but I got a cold shoulder. I finished my drink. I thought to myself the only way I'll turn a head here is to come dressed as a woman. That would take more balls than I had. I started to leave when I saw a woman who just arrived stroll past the bar, she couldn't see me but I was in love. She was soooo beautiful. She moved over to a table full of women and was invited to sit down. I thought "It's useless" and drove home dejected. I couldn't get her out of mind for days. Then while I was at a oil change shop I looked up and there she was. I was almost paralyzed. I knew, if I could date her, I wouldn't need to worry about my cross dressing. I knew I had one chance to make it happen. I moved over to a seat near by her, praying she didn't bolt.

    I picked up cosmo magazine to try to catch her eye. It definitely broke the ice. She giggled a little and nailed me for reading a woman's magazine. "Looking for a new hair style?" I played with her "Yea, what do you recommend?" then I gave her a flirty smile. She giggled, took the magazine and pointed at pageboy style. I laughed thinking she was just playing. "My name is John" "What's yours?" she said "April." "April, that's a beautiful name." "April, you are wonderful, I would love to take you out to dinner and talk." she surprised me and said "let's think about it, I will call you." she asked me for my phone number. I quickly wrote it down.

    To my surprise she did call. We went out to dinner. We caught a couple of movies. We talked and got to know each other. I felt a little strange when she insisted on doing the calling and always picked me up for our dates. I understood why because I knew where I had first found her. I kept quiet because she never talked about her attraction to women. Finally I caught on and invited her in like a woman usually does on a date. She accepted and we made out. As time went on though I knew there no way the relationship was going to last the way it was. She was starting to get bored with me. I was desperate, I was in love. I had to reveal my feminine side to her or I would loose her. It was strange but exhilarating knowing I could reveal my secret and feel safe doing it because I already knew her secret. What I didn't know was that when I opened Pandora's box there would be no way to get it back shut!!

    Soon April would have me by the balls!! At the end of a nice evening I invited her in and we sat on the sofa. I told her about my urges to cross dress. She was immediately excited and told me she wanted me to wear something feminine when we went to bed. I was embarrassed but extremely aroused by the idea. That night we had the best sex I had ever experienced. I showed April my collection of nighties and we both picked one to wear with matching panties. April always pined her hair up before bed and I watched while she did mine. Before she left in the morning she wrote a note and told me to be sure and shave for our next date, everything!!. There was no stopping her now. I shaved and she brought something extra that I never in my wildest dreams would have thought of. While I was happy with things as they were, April was just getting started.

    That night my eyes looked like softballs when I saw April strap on a dildo. Ochh!!. I tried to say no but she told me to shut up while she lubricated my ass and her dildo. She pulled my legs up and had me lock my arms around them then fucked me like I was a woman. I climaxed and shot cum all over my face. She had me lick up what ever I could reach with my tong and using two fingers she scooped the rest into my mouth while I sucked her fingers. Pretty soon after that she told me she wanted to take me dancing and I knew secretly where she intended to go but I didn't dare let on. The only problem was she wanted me dressed as a woman. I looked like a dear caught in headlights. Then April proposed and promised me a life of happiness if I would prove my love for her. Without realizing what she had in mind I said yes and gave in.

    April showed up at my place early and brought both our outfits she had picked out for us. She had everything we needed to be dolled up with. I was extremely aroused. She had me wear a baby doll while she brushed my hair, advised me on make up, and painted my nails. Just when I thought I couldn't take it any more she reached down my panties and jacked me off into her palm then fed my cum to me. She pulled a gaff out of her bag and taught me how to tuck away my manhood. A padded bra and a waist cincher produced some curves I never knew I had. A lacy slip came next. She put me in stockings and a sexy black dress that hugged me all over.

    The hem reached only half way down my thighs. April dressed in a matching dress only hers was red. We both had heels and purses to match. I kept my hair long and it just touched my shoulders. April decided a pony tail tied high in back with a black ribbon would be just what I needed to convince anyone I was a doll. She took her curling iron and put three looping curls in my pony tail then held up a mirror to give me chance to see. When she did I got so aroused my legs stiffened and I could feel the head of my penis push against the cloth of the gaff. I teetered on the edge of climax watching my pony tail bounce.

    April was bubbly about us going while I was in shock. She pulled me close to her and gave me a long sexy kiss. She took my hand and said "You are beautiful, all the other women will try to steal you but your mine!!" April opened the car door and I spun in like a lady. Just before we got out she pulled out my engagement ring and a pair of matching earrings that clamped on. We kissed again. Dreaming of being married to April I stopped thinking about what I had on and relaxed. We were at the same bar where I had first saw her but this time I was one of the girls. She held my hand letting everyone know I was hers and lead me to a table full of women. Everyone knew April and we all went through a round of introductions. I had told her about my childhood name Lorri and she used it in her introductions.

    As the night went on there was a lot of girl talk but several times April asked me to dance. I had never danced without leading so it took me a minute before I was able to switch roles and follow her. I was warm all over. I felt loved and I loved April even more knowing she wanted to marry me. What I had not focused on was that April wanted me to be the Bride!! not the Groom. She wanted a all girl wedding. It was a few weeks later that the wedding gowns became an issue. April also mentioned a make over for both of us at her Beauty Salon which would include ear piercing and arching my eyebrows. This is where I began to realize I had gotten in over my head. All April's women friends were going to be invited. Her parents had long accepted her gay lifestyle.

    My father still had no clue about mine. Even if they didn't come to the wedding what would my father say when I showed up with pierced ears and arched eyebrows? If April insisted they be invited, I would be walking the Isle in a gown and veil. There would be twice as many maids of honor and brides maids.

    What's more I was now focused on the fact that April really was expecting me to be her wife dressing full time as a woman. Where would this lead. I feared the worst imaging that April soon would have me on female hormones on my way to complete sex change. I had to talk to her but feared loosing her. Three days ago we sat down and had a long talk about the wedding. I told her I wanted more than anything to marry her but I wanted a standard wedding. "Why can't I wear a suit just for the wedding?" I asked pleading. She almost laughed "Oh my gosh, you can't be serious." You're no man, I knew when we slept together in our nighties I would need to be the man. Your'e too feminine." I begged but the only thing she would give into was three days for me to think about it.

    I managed to buy three days. She insists that if I love her I will be proud to wear a gown for her. "So you see Nancy I am torn between my manhood and my love for April even while I sit here in a cute dress." "There has got to be a compromise." "God, I hope you can make sense of this, Nancy." Nancy was also a knockout and if I weren't already in love I might be asking her out. She reached over and held my hand to make me feel better. "Lorri...let me call you Lorri, you really know how to get yourself in a mess." "You're going to have to trust me, Lorri, so I can help you." "Do you trust me?" I said "yes" shaking my head. I was almost in tears and I could see the compassion in her eyes.

    "What I am going to tell you will make you suspicious of me, don't be and wait till I tell you everything before you jump to conclusions. First off, I didn't just happen to be here. I followed you here. I used to be in April's group and I still hear everything that goes on from the other women. I was there that night when you were dancing with April. I knew all about what April is demanding. You're not going to like what I tell you but I feel I have to tell you."

    I shook my head soaking in what she was saying. Nancy continued "You're wright she definitely wants your balls and I am sure if I hadn't stepped in she would of had them." "She's been doing some bragging about where your relationship is headed. To put it plainly, April loves to make women out of men." "I have seen her do it twice, now." I gasped, "you mean they had sex changes??" "Yes Lorri, her last two lovers are now one hundred percent women. As soon as she is finished with them, she dumps them. They both, on different occasions, in front of everyone of the women at the bar, begged her to take them back not knowing she had feminized them deliberately just to laugh with her freinds about it. April doesn't love anybody. It's all a fetish of hers. That's why there is no compromise, If she loved you she would let you choose your own path."

    "Lorri, you make a pretty woman but that should be your choice." "I suspect your really not ready for that." I was blown away. I almost fainted thinking how close I came to being castrated and humiliated. I was heart broken knowing April not only didn't love me but wanted to hurt me. I couldn't hold back the tears feeling helpless. Nancy held me with compassion while I sobbed. "Nancy, how can I ever repay your kindness." "You have a heart of pure gold." She looked me in the eyes and said something I really didn't expect. "Now that I have gotten to know you better Lorri I would love to see you again." "You don't have to dress up either unless you want to." "I have searched all my life for great guy like you." "I don't care what your wearing it is what's inside that counts."

    I was shocked but somehow I knew Nancy was sincere. I went back to meet with April with a whole new attitude. She was waiting when I arrived. I acted like nothing was wrong then told her I had made my decision. We sit on the coach. She had a little smirk on her face. "Well, April I have decided if you want to get married, you will be the bride and I will be the groom. What's more I won't be cross dressing unless I want to and no more dildos unless I say so. When I am not dressed up I will be the man." She turned red faced "WHAT?" "KISS MY ASS, BITCH" "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN MEN, I WANT A WOMAN" She stormed out and sped away.That was a close call. My balls were safe now. Still I was liberated by the experience. I now knew who I was and what I wanted. I had shill bumps thinking about how close I came to real womanhood.

    I called Nancy and let her know what happened. She was overjoyed at my ability to stand up for myself. I asked her out. She replied to my surprise "Oh, I would love to." "Just let me know what your wearing and what time you're coming." I laughed and said "You're wonderful." "Pick you up at 7:30pm wearing slacks and a long sleeve man's shirt." We hung up. I couldn't help thinking I finally found the wright woman.

Happy Ending!!!