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by Donna Lamb
Richard had taken the dirty clothes to the washing machine in the little building out back shared with the other half of the duplex. Joel, or Jo, or Joey, dragged the rest of the suitcase into the bathroom and re-locked the door.
The black dress lay across the top of the suitcase and the black, lace panties lay atop the dress. Jo handled everything as if it might be infested with radioactive lice. She put the dress on a spare hanger and laid the panties on the stack of towels behind the toilet.
Everything that wasn’t in a plastic bag smelled like gym socks filled with dirty kitty litter. One plastic bag turned out to contain brand new bathroom needs like they keep in the travel aisle of the drugstore. Miniature soaps, tiny shampoo bottles, a folding toothbrush still in the blister pack, Well, it’s something, thought Jo.
Another bag held a pair of soft folding shoes, flats. Jo made a face. Reluctantly, she also salvaged the bag of makeup supplies and then unlocked the door, pushed the redolent valise back into the hall and locked the door again. “Put this thing out for the raccoons,” she called to Richard.
“You want some breakfast?” he asked.
Jo looked at herself in the mirror, then at the dress, then back at the door. “W-what time is it?”
“Almost seven,” said Richard.
“I have to be at w-work at eight.W-will you drive me?”
“You’re going to work? Like… as a girl?”
“W-what else can I do? I need my job and somebody took all my stuff,” she tried not to start crying again.
“Well.” In the kitchen, Richard scratched his head. “Well, you gotta eat. Toast, egg and coffee? You’ve got time if you don’t dawdle.”
“And you’ll get me some more clothes?”
‘Yeah, yeah. But you could call in sick. Does that stuff even fit?”
“I haven’t….”
“Well, hurry it up if you want to go to work. Women always take too long in the bathroom.” Richard grinned as he got out bread, eggs and coffee.
“Oh!” squealed Jo. “F-f-f-screw you, Richard!” She heard him laugh. He’s having fun! Somehow, she was still sure this was Richard’s fault but just how, she couldn’t quite work out.
She looked in the mirror again. Her short shaggy do looked like a boy’s cut but nothing else about her was at all mannish. She sighed and tried on the panties, snuggling the lacy thong into place. “Wow,” she said out loud.
She stared at herself in the mirror, wearing just panties made her seem more — sexy. She snatched up the dress and pulled it over her head like a tee-shirt. It settled against her curves as if coming home. She looked in the mirror again. “The dress doesn’t f-fit!” she shouted.
“Probably too short, huh?” Richard shouted back. “You’re four or five inches taller than Melissa. Miranda? Whoever she was.”
“Way too short,” complained Jo. In truth, the skirt managed to be a micro-mini but not much more.
“Let me see.” Richard dished out over-medium eggs and well-done wheat toast. “Soup's on.”
Jo unlocked the door and padded out into the hall, pausing at the door to the kitchen. “Um?” she said.
Richard looked. He whistled then he said, “Sit down and eat, Jo. You look good.”
“I do?” She walked slowly to the breakfast table.
“Your hair is a disaster and you’ve got no makeup on but those legs!” He poured coffee for both of them.
She glanced down.
“Sit, eat,” said Richard.”Keep your knees together, you slut.”
She glared at him.
“I’m teasing,” said Richard, “but, really, keep your knees together or other people will be saying it.”
She sat, carefully. “I’m starved,” she said. “And you’re a Dick, Richard.”
“I know, ain’t I lucky?”
Silly
Addonna you really have Jo's character down pat. She is so earnest that it hurts. Richard is a player but not a amoral one. This is not a new theme but you really given this your own spin and guess what? It's fun!
Hugs!
grover
Plan? Ain't got no Plan!
"Beyond Thunder Dome"
Plan? Ain't got no Plan!
"Beyond Thunder Dome"
The Importance of Being Jo
Yeah, Joel wanted to be a boy scout when he was younger but they turned him down for being too serious. ::lol:: So Jo is a very serious ditz. ::grin::
Donna Lamb, flack
Donna Lamb, flack
Hey, they let me in
I ws a Boy Scout,
I made it all the way to Eagle Scout and I ... Jeese, I guess that proves the point. Joel WAS too serious.
Like Karen I wonder, what else has the Devil erased from Joel's life? But if he/she -- AKA the Devil -- couldn't change Joel any more or Robert *the Dick*, at some point there must be a cosmic balance. I.E. The man/woman upstairs will get ticked off at this picking on an inocent. Then the magic may come roaring back in Joel's favor. He may not have a job or a car but SHE may be a rich heiress, a sort of Paris Hilton but with brains and a sexy stutter. The F-f-f-screw you! was priceless Adonna.
John in Wauwatosa
Shalimar, I *like* serials, in moderation. -- Grin --
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine)
Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine) Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
She's not thinking
Just how does Jo expect to go to a job where they are expecting Joel? "I was magically changed last night, so just keep paying me like I'm still Joel." Um-m, yeah! It doesn't sound like that LBD is anything she'd want to wear to work, and nothing Richard buys that actually fits is going to make Jo look like her old, male self. There may have been no sex, but Jo is none the less screwed! (Pun intended)
Karen J.
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
One toe at a time
Jo is dealing with reality the way some people get in a cool swimming pool. ::grin:: She'll wear a dress but she won't yet admit that no one is going to believe she's Joel. The water is always warm in De Nile. ::grin::
Donna Lamb, flack
Donna Lamb, flack
Just occurred to me
I'm wondering just how much of Joel's life has been erased. His clothes - yep. His other possessions - yep. His male existence - ? She might get to Joel's job and find nobody knows who Joel is! Jo has become an "un"person. Hm-m-m-m. . . .
Karen J.
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
Why These Short Parts?
This is an excellent story so far EXCEPT that these short parts make it difficult to continue reading this story. I may be dropping reading it because of the way you posted it. The shotness of each section imply that it would have been better if it was done as one story. If you are not finished with it then you shouldn't have posted it yet.
There is no shame to taking the time to write and post a complete story as one story. Some of my stories have taken years to write.
I HATE SERIALS! There is no reason for this as one.
shalimar
"I like short shorts!"
Heard that song on the radio today, and this gave me a perfect excuse to use it. Thanks!
As to why the short chapters, I suspect it's because Adonna is writing each chapter in part based on the feedback she is getting. So be careful what you say, it might show up in the next chapter!
Likely you are pissed at me as I have come to a screeching halt on my story, but it will be continued sooner or later, I promise. The story/book after that is already over half written, so once I can break loose things should occur quickly. In the meantime, if Adonna's way of writing this is a problem, bookmark the story and come back to it when she finishes it.
In the meantime, I'll take whatever I can get, whenever I can get it.
Karen J.
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
Screw it
I'm writing this the way I want to write it. I'm writing it as I post it because otherwise it would not get written. I don't have the incentive to write a novel first before I post it, it just ain't gonna happen.
Don't read it if you don't want to. I am posting it in bigger pieces over on BC, you can wait till I post it there. Or wait till I'm done and read it then. But a serial is the way I'm writing this, in part so that there is something posted on Stardust almost everyday.
It's clearly marked as a serial and yet, you who claim to HATE serials opened it up and dumped on me for something you did to yourself. I'm not writing this for you, I'm writing this for me and for people who enjoy what I'm doing.
This is like people who open stories labelled Magic and complain in comments that magic is not realistic. Honestly, life is too short to inflict stuff you know you don't like on yourself.
And bitching out the writer is incredibly rude.
If you read something you KNOW you aren't going to like WHY do you think you're entitled to complain about it? I mean seriously.
But you want your way, okay you got it. I have another segment ready to post and then I was going to repost 3.1-3.6 to BC as 3.0 later.
But not tonight, I've got a headache now. And maybe not tomorrow cause I'm going to be out of town, though, maybe, cause I'll have my laptop with me. But if not tomorrow then probably not Friday cause I do this in the evening and I'm hoping I have a date.
And if I go three days without posting and getting feedback, then this story is probably dead.
But YOU'LL be happy, cause I won't be posting something for FREE to amuse myself and please other people but YOU don't enjoy serials so, of couse, no one else should either.
Screw it. I'll have a drink and watch the tube instead. Writing is just too much work.
Donna Lamb, flack
Donna Lamb, flack
I'd buy you a drink if I could
That's okay, Donna, you go ahead and write it and post it any way you want. I promise I'll read it.
And I hope you have a good time Friday night. Gee, a date, used to know what those were, but it's been so-o-o long . . . .
Take care, girl!
Karen J.
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
Additional
Shalimar, this just occurred to me, I'm guessing you don't read the daily comics in the newspaper?
Karen J.
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
Merow, Phitt Phitt!
Now, now ladies.
I'm happy how I get it. That reminds me, good luck wiith Friday night.
Some stories are all-in-one, done entirely by the author with little feed back except with a proofer or a test reader. If the writer is good enough this produces a tight, logically consistant story. Others are interactive, with the author taking feedback from multiple sources, filtering it and using it or not. Both methods are valid.
Serial do bother me when they are well written and suck you in and then cicumstance causes the author to stop without a resolution. At the same time much of the fun in a serial is guessing what comes next and finding out how closse or far from the truth you came. I would never leave people dangling for weeks at a ... I will finish Glacier Girl, I promise!
John in Wauwatosa
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine)
Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
But you're not a scientist. Surely you believe in all this superstitious nonsense. (MAD Magazine) Could be worse, could be raining. (Young Frankenstein)
Please?
Adonna I do want to point out that they are those of us who really love what you're doing with Blue Moon and enjoys the style you've adopted. John is right! This has become like my morning comic strip that I look forward to reading first thing in the new day to put a smile on my face and have that on going 'giggle' thinking about Jo's latest stutter! "F f f screw you!"
It has occurred to me that it was a backhanded compliment. It was so good reading it in pieces drove her crazy. 'Nuff said.
Hugs! Adonna!
grover-
a loyal reader lost in cyberland!
Plan? Ain't got no Plan!
"Beyond Thunder Dome"
Plan? Ain't got no Plan!
"Beyond Thunder Dome"
Donna
I haven't commented on this serial yet and I humbly apologize for that. I think the way you have been posting these installments is absolutely perfect for the story you are telling. These quick glimpses into the plight of Joel and Richard are wonderful, and as always you bring a depth to your characters that make your writing stand out.
I am not a big fan of serials - a strange statement since I am working on one of my own. My main reason is because I have been sucked in by so many, only to have the author tire of them and stop writing without bringing any closure to the story. That said, there are some stories that just beg to be serialized, and I feel this is one of them. You are doing an excellent job, and I pray you will continue and bring this tale to what I hope will be a happy conclusion.
Sincerely,
Scott
~If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.~
Lazarus Long
Robert A. Heinlein's 'Time Enough for Love'
Sincerely,
Scott
Calvin: You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes: What mood is that?
Calvin: Last-minute panic.
Thanks, Scott, Grover, Karen, John
I have every intention of continuing this story. ::smile:: At about 500-1000 words per section, I'm figuring on 40 to 60 sections, approximately the rest of the summer. At that time, I'll re-edit it and offer the collected Blue Moon as an eBook through BC's donation thingie.
Yesterday was a bad day but I made my trip today and got back before the traffic so that put me in a good mood. ::grin::
Donna Lamb, flack
Donna Lamb, flack