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Angus McFarland marched along the beach, playing the pipes 
in full regalia. Actually he hadn't planned on practicing 
out here in the middle of nowhere but his flatmates had 
suggested he get some fresh air.  In fact, they had bodily 
tossed him from the flat muttering dire threats about where 
his pipes might end up if he didn't practice elsewhere. So 
Angus marched along the shore thinking about Timothy 
O'Shea. 

Now Angus loved women; he loved the clothes they wore, the 
way they smelled and the way they looked. But he loved 
Timmy more and his greatest wish in life was to find his 
way to Timmy's heart. But alas, Timmy only had eyes for the 
lassies and this painful thought caused Angus to produce 
the most awful wailing note from his pipes. So painful was 
that note that fish popped out of the water and lay dead on 
the surface and right in front of him an old bottle 
fractured into thousands of pieces, sending the stopper 
shooting ten feet into the air. 

Then, before Angus' astonished eyes, appeared a genie with 
hair standing straight out and holding her fingers in her 
ears for dear life. The genie looked about and cautiously 
removed her fingers from her ears, but remained poised to 
instantly replace them if necessary. She regarded Angus 
with a jaundiced eye.

"Was it you produced that awful caterwauling?" she asked.

"Aye, miss. I'm sorry if I disturbed you, " the apologetic 
Angus replied. "The pipes got away from me."

"You humans certainly find unique ways to free me from the 
bottle. Can't any of you just pull out the stopper like it 
was intended? No matter. You are entitled to one wish for 
freeing me so get on with it, I have a major house repair 
to begin."

Angus thought, "Here's my golden opportunity" and said, "I 
wish I were a lassie with long golden blond hair and that I 
could love Timmy forever."

"So it is spoken…" The Genie paused while Angus stood there 
frozen.  She lifted up the front of his kilt. "Aha! Just as 
I suspected." she said, then completed the phrase, "So 
shall it be done!"


   

. . . Later.

"Timmy, time for dinner," called out his mom.

Timmy yelled for Lassie, "C'mon girl time to eat."

Angus shook his coat and scampered after Timmy.

"Cut, " yelled the director and then turned on the dog's 
trainer. "I know we're using a male dog because they're 
easier to train but could you please stop Lassie from 
trying to hump Timmy's leg every time they're alone!"